Is that because you haven't moved on?
I would agree with above, she should be able to go to a common local place, nor does it sound like your relationship was that long
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
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Is that because you haven't moved on?
I would agree with above, she should be able to go to a common local place, nor does it sound like your relationship was that long
Is that because you haven't moved on?
I would agree with above, she should be able to go to a common local place, nor does it sound like your relationship was that long
While I agree with you that’s probably part of the problem the whole notion of “moving on” frustrates me just as much. It’s been a year now since we broke up and as I said 6 months since we spoke. I’ve spent all that time since we broke up single but dating and seeing other people on and off dealing with the emotional aftermath of the situation and been made to feel like it was all / mostly my fault. I know it isn’t but she is a master of filling people’s head with rubbish and deflective criticism.
It felt long enough to me. Not my longest relationship by far but we did a lot together.
Your right though I can’t help her visiting a common place although I still feel on her part it was an unnecessary move that she knew would get back to me.
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Soldato
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In fairness it probably is a way of rubbing your nose in it. If she was thoughtful or respected you she might think "I wont go there because xx goes there a lot" but she clearly hasn't given you a second thought. This is all the more reason not to rise to her and know that you'll always be the better, happier (in time) person.
When feelings aren't so raw you'll be able to get your own back by going in there and barely notice her, casual as you like. She clearly isn't happy and it will annoy her that shes got herself stuck and you're free as a bird. Play the long game my friend
Shouldn't be keeping in contact with them. What's the point if they now carrying a child what's not yours.
Cut all contact. It's called "severing". It will enable you to move on without the ex constantly messing with your head and emotions. She's in your past, so leave her behind!
I know this all to well, met her when she had just turned 18 got very drunk one night and she got pregnant i had only known her for a month, 18 years have been Hell Hell Hell ok some good times but i never thought she would act like she has been acting towards me, I don't think i can save this relationship. I thought i was doing the right thing staying with her and she said she wasn't going to abort.
Read the additional posts. I haven’t spoken to her in 6 months and that was her asking me about “buying a house” with some of the money in a savings account I set up for her forever ago that she saves into monthly. Clearly trying to get a rise out of me as she knows I know she is living with this guy and pregnant but I didn’t rise to it at all. Just answered her question concisely and no more.
Before that was before Christmas when she told me everything (including how unhappy she was and pregnant but could still terminate at that point) and I told her to go away and make the right decision (she has a good family who would support her either way) but she obviously chose to ignore everyone including herself. She said at the time that if she leaves him and gets rid of the baby then she will have nowhere to go as her parents wouldn’t take her back (which is a load of rubbish) and would end up on a park bench and that “it’s alright for me as I have options” (I have my own place and am doing alright). I said she was been very callous, treating him like a sperm donor with a wallet and that I expected better from her..
Later on she said that the whole conversation was about her wanting to tell me out of “respect” before later on reiterating in a further message that she didn’t know if she wanted it or not (far too late by this point)
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Associate
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I hear what your saying there wigster
What's that saying.. Loving/Marrying someone is giving them the power to absolutely destroy you, but trusting them not to. 
Re: negative to positive opinion ratios, I'm not sure that's really true given the divorce statistics these days. I'm always cautious of anecdotal evidence but I have seen plenty of really crappy relationship breakdowns since I was a teenager right up until now through my own situation, family, friends, work colleagues and acquaintances and it's been at such a significant rate that it's difficult to ignore and it's definitely made me very cautious.
Watching 40 or 50-odd year old men go from a high level of financial comfort to starting from scratch again and living in a bedsit or studio flat is an absolutely terrible thing to see, especially when they are the type of guys who thought the negativity and legal bias theories were overstated and that it would never happen to them.
Re: negative to positive opinion ratios, I'm not sure that's really true given the divorce statistics these days. I'm always cautious of anecdotal evidence but I have seen plenty of really crappy relationship breakdowns since I was a teenager right up until now through my own situation, family, friends, work colleagues and acquaintances and it's been at such a significant rate that it's difficult to ignore and it's definitely made me very cautious.
Watching 40 or 50-odd year old men go from a high level of financial comfort to starting from scratch again and living in a bedsit or studio flat is an absolutely terrible thing to see, especially when they are the type of guys who thought the negativity and legal bias theories were overstated and that it would never happen to them.
Go get a bottle of something nice, find an altar to any god and make an offering of thanks for helping you side step that nightmare
Take it out and slap her with it?
Given that a month has passed since he asked, I'd assume he's already slipped her a length.
Too busy banging, perhaps?
Yep
The only thoughts you should have about this girl are happy ones that you have avoided a lifetime of misery
Soldato
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What happens after 18 years? You ditch them?