Telling women to smile is not OK.

[Janesy B]

I don't understand why BBC need to genderise the topic

Really it should say "telling people to smile is not okay" as it's rude and intrusive

Certainly not news worthy though

It's not in the news it's a small feature somewhere else on the website.

Also it's a male thing, you'll never hear of a woman telling a bloke he should cheer up. Much like you won't get a woman following around a man and trying to feeling him up on the tube. Men are much more likely to be predatory, and much more likely to become aggressive and violent when rejected.

To be honest I worked in retail for years and being told to smile made me want to strangle the **** suggesting it.

That's different, if you are in a customer facing role you should look approachable, having a sour face makes you the opposite of that.

Woman given complimentary note...still the feminazis complain.

It's not really a compliment is it? Telling someone what their facial expression should be just because they are attractive. It's intrusive.

Jane is ugly, she is lucky she got his attention.

I don't think anyone is lucky to have creepy notes passed to them despite how attractive or unattractive you find them. I expect Jane would be happy that you don't find her attractive.

This woman...

Photos of herself all over the internet. Selfies infact "look at me look at me look at me"

Someone looks at her "omg stop looking at me!"

Do you post pictures of yourself to be commented on by randomers or to share with friends and family?

 

[Terminal_Boy]

So I guess using “Cheer up love, it might never happen” shouldn’t be used at a funeral?

 

[Yadda]

I'd consider my facial expression and why I have a face like a smacked arse. Then I'd probably be thankful for the compliment whether it was from man, woman, other.

Has it happened to you, as an adult? Don't you think it's a bit weird?

 

[Hades]

No wonder society is rapidly discintigrating if people get offended at a polite note.

 

[Dis86]

Has it happened to you, as an adult? Don't you think it's a bit weird?

I've had compliments on things, yes. Items of clothing. A random is highly unlikely to tell me I'm pretty though as I'm not!
I really don't think it is weird. I think it was quite a nice thing to do. Hence my defence of the action.

 

[Hades]

Edit: Double post.

 

[Yadda]

I've had compliments on things, yes. Items of clothing. A random is highly unlikely to tell me I'm pretty though as I'm not!
I really don't think it is weird. I think it was quite a nice thing to do. Hence my defence of the action.

No, I mean has a stranger approached you and said you should smile?

As an adult man, I'd find it a bit odd if it happened to me.

 

[Dis86]

No, I mean has a stranger approached you and said you should smile?

As an adult man, I'd find it a bit odd if it happened to me.

No. Although I've had the old "cheer up mate, it might not happen" a few times. I didn't lose my beans over it, cracked a grin or came back with the old "it already has" which tends to garner a sympathetic smile or nod.

 

[Nitefly]

I've had compliments on things, yes. Items of clothing. A random is highly unlikely to tell me I'm pretty though as I'm not!
I really don't think it is weird. I think it was quite a nice thing to do. Hence my defence of the action.

If a man did this to you, how would you feel? Presumably bemused, at the very least. Sending a note like this is pretty darn weird, no matter the intention.

There is also the truth that men are generally larger, stronger, more predatory and (therefore) more intimidating than women - whom by contrast are generally physically weaker at the very least, so many actions of generic man towards generic woman will probably generate some reservations no matter how good the intention of said generic man... which is probably amplified by such action being so, well, odd.

 

[Yadda]

No. Although I've had the old "cheer up mate, it might not happen" a few times. I didn't lose my beans over it, cracked a grin or came back with the old "it already has" which tends to garner a sympathetic smile or nod.

I'll prep a special note incase we're ever on the same train.

 

[JBuk]

It's was a harmless observation , maybe the guy was too shy to speak to her hence the note?

Are people really that sensitive these days that a stranger making some form of communication these days is upsetting?

 

[Dis86]

If a man did this to you, how would you feel? Presumably bemused, at the very least. Sending a note like this is pretty darn weird, no matter the intention.

There is also the truth that men are generally larger, stronger, more predatory and (therefore) more intimidating than women - whom by contrast are generally physically weaker at the very least, so many actions of generic man towards generic woman will probably generate some reservations no matter how good the intention of said generic man... which is probably amplified by such action being so, well, odd.

My response to yadda answers this for you

 

[Gerard]

If its any women that have been on the Jeremy Kyle show they should not under any circumstances smile.

 

[Tefal]

No, I mean has a stranger approached you and said you should smile?

As an adult man, I'd find it a bit odd if it happened to me.

Yes but I think she was trying to flirt

 

[Moothead2]

It's not in the news it's a small feature somewhere else on the website.

Also it's a male thing, you'll never hear of a woman telling a bloke he should cheer up. Much like you won't get a woman following around a man and trying to feeling him up on the tube. Men are much more likely to be predatory, and much more likely to become aggressive and violent when rejected.

********. I've been told, as a male, to cheer up or smile by women plenty. You're also grasping real ******* hard to go from telling someone to smile to men groping woman on the tube. Sounds like you have an agenda .

That's different, if you are in a customer facing role you should look approachable, having a sour face makes you the opposite of that.

Again, ********. Strangers have no right to tell you how you should feel or present yourself emotionally, regardless of whether they're a customer or not. As Minusorange said, it's rude and intrusive.

 

[GGizmo]

I think a lot of these types of stories are peoples insecurities coming out.

She said he could have done things a different way.. but the reality is she would have had the same reaction whatever he did.

She hasnt really got the excuse of feeling uneasy because as she said herself, the guy walked off and asked her to wait 10 seconds. It's not like he passed her a note and sat staring at her.

If she's going to look for the bad in every situation then I feel sorry for her. Women do get more harassment than men. But this kind of example is making a mockery of it.

 

[JBuk]

No, I mean has a stranger approached you and said you should smile?

As an adult man, I'd find it a bit odd if it happened to me.

Yes, by a girl in a night club, we ended up talking each time we were out and a few weeks later spent a few evening at hers.
I could have easily just ignored her.

If it was a man who had said it I'd maybe find it strange but that's only because it's not something I'm use to, I'd probably be wondering if they were making a pass or just genuinely friendly, if it was the former I'd just find it funny and get on with my life, if it was the latter then I may have made a new friend or again just ignore them and get on with life. Whatever it6was I wouldn't take offence and cry about it.

 

[Yadda]

Yes, by a girl in a night club, we ended up talking each time we were out and a few weeks later spent a few evening at hers.
I could have easily just ignored her.

If it was a man who had said it I'd maybe find it strange but that's only because it's not something I'm use to, I'd probably be wondering if they were making a pass or just genuinely friendly, if it was the former I'd just find it funny and get on with my life, if it was the latter then I may have made a new friend or again just ignore them and get on with life. Whatever it6was I wouldn't take offence and cry about it.

I think your second paragraph is probably quite close to how she feels about it. That's a guess of course, because as a man it's very difficult for me to imagine what it feels like from a woman's perspective. You say "if it was the former then..." and "if it was the latter then...". How would you (or she) know?

I haven't seen her cry about it. All I've seen is her video in the OP in which she seems very calm.

 

[Janesy B]

********. I've been told, as a male, to cheer up or smile by women plenty. You're also grasping real ******* hard to go from telling someone to smile to men groping woman on the tube. Sounds like you have an agenda .

No it's part of the same set of predatory behaviours that women have to put up with more so then men. Leaving notes is creepy, and any shyness probably stems from the intentions the note leaver has. And how many times have you need told you should smile because you are beautiful via a note left by someone leaving the train rather than someone genuinely saying cheer up because they can see you're having a bad time. I'd feel uneasy if someone studied me enough to work out I should be smiling, and then the time taken to think up of a note. Just doesn't sit well with me.

Have you ever left a similar note for a woman, and if not, why haven't you?

Again, ********. Strangers have no right to tell you how you should feel or present yourself emotionally, regardless of whether they're a customer or not. As Minusorange said, it's rude and intrusive.

No it's part of customer service and if I have people complaining that the staff they are dealing with are disinterested something has to be done, it's part of the standards and rules outlined under an employee handbook that are agreed as part of the terms of employment. Different to what people can do in their own time.

 

[Fubsy]

No it's part of customer service and if I have people complaining that the staff they are dealing with are disinterested something has to be done, it's part of the standards and rules outlined under an employee handbook that are agreed as part of the terms of employment. Different to what people can do in their own time.

There's a difference to appearing to be disinterested with actually being disinterested. Hard to prove, and if something "has to be done" about what someone looks like naturally, then good luck.