To be fair it was other posters suggesting he do this, I do agree though I can't understand how someone can spend £50k on hardware over 15 years and not have a top end system and need to ask people for charity to upgrade it's like £3k every year on a computer
£50k seems a lot and in a lump sum it is, my mistake was saying £50k on hardware instead I should have said on technology.
15 years ago we lived in a medical assist bungalow (fancy name for a council approved and run place with all the BS level of equipment like a walk in shower (no bath, its been 20 years since I had a bath in a house we live in
).
At that point the medication was also causing mental issues, high level of panic attacks and anxiety (of the level that they shake so much they end up bruising internal muscles) but it kept the cancer away so it was a catch 22.
Paola always and still does refuse pain killers because she needs to know her limits and as the pain gets worse she has a soft limit and hard limit.
Computers and entertainment were all I had as tools to distract her (unlike me and probably most people if we have flu or fall ill we don't feel like doing much, that kind of pain and suffering became the norm and thus her point was if feeling bad stopped her doing things then she would never be able to do anything and may as well give up on life).
This in the time of pay per minute internet.
I wired the house with Cat cable, this was when wireless was still dodgy and nothing like what we have now, I had 6 computers setup in the house back then, a Mail server (linux) a Mud server (games server) (linux) I think they were both Mandrake a media pc (far before what we call a media PC now, 32" monitor wall CRT hooked up to I think it was an athlon not sure, with a TV card and I believe a VHS to Hard Drive encoder + DVD burner, it was slow and horrible but I started creating a library of Films and TV series, a bedroom PC hooked up to a 14" LCD on a ceiling mounted bracket. and in the living room 2 gaming computers.
I was always testing out new hardware, I built a table PC for the backyard thinking she could sit outside with it, (I made mistakes with the sealant and yes I know that I was dumb to leave it out in the rain), I bought her one of those artists pads you can draw on, but she always preferred pen and paper.
As she started to loose strength in arms and hands but still wanted to craft (she loved making cards and toys for other people) we got her the first generation of home crafting stations that allowed her to program it from the pc (they were not cheap)
She progressed upwards to the Zing, in the last couple of years which is an amazing piece of kit plus she has one of the smaller 3d Printers.
As time went on, systems got upgraded, PC's became more powerful and energy saving became an idea, 6 computers became 4, we have a game server which runs a Mud we started in 1998, sadly we do not play it anymore but people still play and enjoy it, A Nas with 24TB space and 2 gaming PC's with Paola's doubling up as a media PC for when we sit in her bedroom to watch stuff together.
An early adopter of self setup Solar, I have 3 flexible solar panels in the back yard which power a battery bank also in storage in the back yard (properly sealed no maintenance gel batteries which is our ultimate ups, not enough to run the house although it can run 2 rooms in the summer, it is more in place in case power goes out.
our house is an old semi and very much a wireless dead zone so I invested in the BTwholehome system which creates a 5ghz net over the entire property (kind of amazed that it works but it does)
Philips hue lights + Echo + dots, when on dialysis she she has about 5ft of tubing to play with so being able to turn on the lights or contact me is a real life saver, for example its 5:30am I am up because 30 mins ago Paola had a problem and so she flashed my bedroom light to wake me up and told Alexa to broadcast a message to me (this is usually so I don't panic and run down the stairs naked lol)
She has a good quality mobile phone (lite enough but powerful enough she can lay in the bed for hours watching youtube, playing games or on our plex server) interestingly enough since I setup the solar and a bank of USB chargers no phone or tablet in the house has been charged from the mains in 2 years, next to her bed is a Ravpower battery bank and I always have 2 fully charged incase she goes into hospital.
She has a Firewire Tablet, An Xbox one X hooked up to the 4k TV (which is sometimes easier to use than the PC keyboard and trackball)
We were also one of the first people to sign up for the newly available home delivery services for Tesco when it first rolled out and we have been on Amazon Prime since it started and a customer since 2001.
Now up until 1 year plus we budgeted well but also my mum liked to help us out she always set aside investments for us and her goal was if anything happened to her then we were looked after, she was an amazing woman, my Dad died when he was 32 (I was 12) but when she went into a home(Dementia), the current system allows the council to take that money to pay for her care, it doesn't matter that she worked all her life, doesn't matter that she paid into national insurance, you have to pay for the home yourself and seen as the average cost of a non dump home is about 30k per year and if a family member is not living in her house they can take that too.
Now I budget really well lol.
The point is in a normal home these items would be luxuries and keeping it all going a minor tier on the budget and savings system, but for someone that the only respite they get is via technology it is far higher on priorities.
)
) while i commend the op for his devotion to his wife and strength of character - i wouldn't wish their situation on my worst enemy and they have my utmost sympathies - it doesn't sit well with me for someone to be accepting and actively encouraging (despite the protestations to the contrary) financial aid when it is apparently not exactly needed.