Cockblocked by co-worker

Kaiju said:
Okay, so I built a good rapport with a girl at work, let’s call her Jen; we had mutual interests, laughed at each other’s jokes, frequently smiled at each other, eye contact, physical intent, everything you’d want from initial escalation but when a new female colleague (Tracy) started realising I was giving her attention, she started to make things difficult. For example, she’d wait for her every night when going home when she knew me and Jen would leave work together.

I saw the cockblock starting so I made an effort to befriend Tracy. Just general topics, nothing taboo. Big mistake, she ate everything I said and spewed it out like I was a monster. She literally made me uncomfortable talking about the weather LOL. Then one day at work, we were talking about something random and she just started crying out of the blue.

Later I told Jen that Tracy just randomly started crying but you can imagine what side she took. A few days later I saw Tracy in the elevator and she said hi to me with a smirk. She never said hi to me before. After that, Jen began to cold shoulder me and they started to spend more time together. I’m now sitting here with my dick in my hand and scratching my head with the other.

Backstory, Tracy is a Psych major and very aware of her surroundings. The girls at work all flock to her as she has a neutral voice, calming and she regularly shoulders them if they have any problems. I’m pretty sure the deal is that she took offence that I was flirting with Jen at work, especially as she just started working here. She’s also quite unattractive, fat, acne, basically a great friend to have as she makes everyone else look more attractive.

What would you guys do in this situation?
Click to expand...

All I can say is "good luck" and pray for a meteor strike. People like that are poison and I know exactly what her game is. See if you can get some time with Jen away from Tracy and just tell her you like her, you don't know why she started to change behaviour towards you and that Tracy has been deliberately winding you up and making it obvious she's trying to make you out to be a bad guy, winks and all.

People like that are pure evil and use other people as a foil for their own deep, deep issues. Try to keep yourself on the moral highground, treat other people well and be confident and friendly. And ask people why Tracy has it in for you. You can win this but only with absolute self-control and a little bit of carefully planned and consistent pushback.
 
You already made the mistake of dumping in your own backyard, so might as well make the most of it, Take the one you like more to Nando`s the other as previously mentioned to KFC. (split bill on both occasions)
 
Roar87 said:
I've literally never seen you post anything of value, all you do is put down other people's post as if you're on some sort of pedestal when you're one of the worst posters here
Click to expand...

To be fair, your suggestion sounds remarkably like dating 'gurus' ramblings aimed at the incel community.
 
h4rm0ny said:
All I can say is "good luck" and pray for a meteor strike. People like that are poison and I know exactly what her game is. See if you can get some time with Jen away from Tracy and just tell her you like her, you don't know why she started to change behaviour towards you and that Tracy has been deliberately winding you up and making it obvious she's trying to make you out to be a bad guy, winks and all.

People like that are pure evil and use other people as a foil for their own deep, deep issues. Try to keep yourself on the moral highground, treat other people well and be confident and friendly. And ask people why Tracy has it in for you. You can win this but only with absolute self-control and a little bit of carefully planned and consistent pushback.
Click to expand...
You are a star, that's exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.
 
233 said:
bang tracey
Click to expand...

You know, if Tracy is that unattractive and bitter, she might go for it. Then tell Jen how you liked her but Tracy told you how much Jen really didn't like you and you're sorry if you came on to strong. Basically set it up so that it looks like Tracy manipulated you into going out with her by back-stabbing her friend. Which might even be part of Tracy's motivation.

If nothing else, it will spread the muck in equal directions. You don't actually have to have sex with Tracy. Just set up enough of a situation that you can pass off as Tracy being into you. All you need is to convince Jen that Tracy is.
 
Zethor said:
To be fair, your suggestion sounds remarkably like dating 'gurus' ramblings aimed at the incel community.
Click to expand...

What, telling him to stop being nice to a woman who's purposely spoiled his chances with a girl he likes is dating guru ramblings? Jesus.
 
h4rm0ny said:
You're welcome. You know, of my two posts - you probably picked the better one.
Click to expand...
Haha, the sooner I can get Tracy out of the picture, the better. Like you said, she's pure evil, poison.

Another thing I failed to mention was that before the situation with Jen, Tracy was a nobody at work. After she brought on the waterworks, she garnered sympathy from the majority of the women at work. I still have a few female colleagues who believe me but the other women who are nothing more than acquaintances gladly jumped on the male hate train.

I really don't want to think too much about this but it's more than just Jen now. It's my livelihood and being able to work comfortably at work.

I could easily just let it get to me, start talking behind her back and start a rift at work but then I'm falling into exactly what she wants. Attention, a feeling of being someone.

Your words ring oh so true, I need to stay calm, take the moral highground, be confident and friendly. Patience is key.
 
OP, there's nothing to be done. Taking the potential for sex out of the equation might make it clearer - if one person wants to be good mates with someone who isn't bothered or actively dislikes them, it will never happen and attempts at building a closer relationship will be awkward and forced. Forget it.
 
In all seriousness with the way "inner work harassment" works these days I think you would be best to leave her alone and wait for her to make a move.

You don't want to be getting in trouble. Not to mention this sounds all very tiring... How do you get up in the morning knowing you will be met with drama like this when you get in the office. You would be best off making this a distant memory bud
 
I never get why people say don't date at work.

I met my Mrs at work, although different depts, over 5 years ago. I had to strap her to an evac-chair and push her down the stairs during a fire evacuation. (She has a chronic disability and occasionally requires a wheelchair).

We got married in July this year and expecting our 2nd child in February.
 
LeeUK said:
This is why I don't work in a typical non-job 9-5 office. BS like this is rife in those places.
Click to expand...
Whilst I don't disagree about the BS being there it's entirely up to the person of whether or not they get involved with it :p

Looking at the OPs location. He is an expat in HK. So his wick dipping and social options are probably limited compared to being here in the UK. So showing interest in someone from work is understandable.

However to the OP. Sorry to hear about the manhater. If it were me I wouldn't say anything to either of them and just carry on. Go completely cold, stop showing interest and being keen. If she comes following then she was interested. If she doesn't then she wasn't and you've saved yourself some grief anyway.
 
Immature, run whilst you can and don't **** in your own garden. Work related "romances" can really mess up things and if she's immature enough not to be able to see past what the new girl is doing/saying then she'd be a nightmare if you two did break up.

Apart from anything else she seems to have reciprocated the friendship with the new girl, which means you were useful, but she's done.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom