How to tell a friend we no longer can be friends?

Hedge · 21 May 2019 at 20:45

I read that entire post waiting for a punchline.

I can't believe an adult can possibly have such a ridiculous life. Such a shame Jeremy Kyle is cancelled because it was made for people like you.

Vita · 21 May 2019 at 21:06

When I don’t want to be friends with people I simply act like they don’t exist anymore.

I think she wants you.

stockhausen · 21 May 2019 at 22:14

Hedge said:
I read that entire post waiting for a punchline. [snip]

I think that the entire post WAS the punchline :confused:

adam cool dude · 22 May 2019 at 10:47

Can men and women be friends on a personal basis? One side has to have an attraction of some sort. Maybe I am not with the modern times but all my friends are male. I have women associates but I wouldn't go to the cinema with them or a weekend away like I do with my male friends and the only time that happens is because my wife has different hobbies otherwise we would go together.

Your female friend getting all weird with your gf is more than likely because she wants you to smash her pasty even though you would more than likely never entertain the idea.

Psycho Sonny · 22 May 2019 at 10:51

adam cool dude said:
Can men and women be friends on a personal basis? One side has to have an attraction of some sort. Maybe I am not with the modern times but all my friends are male. I have women associates but I wouldn't go to the cinema with them or a weekend away like I do with my male friends and the only time that happens is because my wife had different hobbies otherwise we would go together.

Your female friend getting all weird with your gf is more than likely because she wants you to smash her pasty even though you would more than likely ever entertain the idea.

Only if said female or you are homosexual. Women like to keep guys in the friend zone to keep their morale up but they know that friend would do them if given a chance.

krooton · 22 May 2019 at 10:53

adam cool dude said:
Can men and women be friends on a personal basis? One side has to have an attraction of some sort. Maybe I am not with the modern times but all my friends are male. I have women associates but I wouldn't go to the cinema with them or a weekend away like I do with my male friends and the only time that happens is because my wife has different hobbies otherwise we would go together.

Your female friend getting all weird with your gf is more than likely because she wants you to smash her pasty even though you would more than likely never entertain the idea.

My close friends are 70/30 in favour of women, and my best friend of 20 years is female and would have been my 'Best Woman' had I not eloped.

But then my life also hasn't been some weird Jerry Springer fever dream like some people seem to have!

adam cool dude · 22 May 2019 at 10:54

Psycho Sonny said:
Only if said female or you are homosexual. Women like to keep guys in the friend zone to keep their morale up but they know that friend would do them if given a chance.

I did think that but even if they are homosexual the other half of the friendship might have an attraction to them.

adam cool dude · 22 May 2019 at 10:59

krooton said:
My close friends are 70/30 in favour of women, and my best friend of 20 years is female and would have been my 'Best Woman' had I not eloped.

But then my life also hasn't been some weird Jerry Springer fever dream like some people seem to have!

I guess it also has to be about your hobbies and interests. I was a big movie goer when I was in my teens and would often go with plenty of women to the movies as that was what I was interested in, likewise with gaming but as I grew older my hobbies went towards Motorsport and football which are predominantly male focused so my friend base is like that now.

Psycho Sonny · 22 May 2019 at 11:02

adam cool dude said:
I guess it also has to be about your hobbies and interests. I was a big movie goer when I was in my teens and would often go with plenty of women to the movies as that was what I was interested in, likewise with gaming but as I grew older my hobbies went towards Motorsport and football which are predominantly male focused so my friend base is like that now.

What movies were you watching? Rom-Coms? As I doubt many young single women would be wanting to go watch Creed 2 / Avengers, etc for instance as a first choice. Different movie genres attract different sexes.

krooton · 22 May 2019 at 11:07

Psycho Sonny said:
What movies were you watching? Rom-Coms? As I doubt many young single women would be wanting to go watch Creed 2 / Avengers, etc for instance as a first choice. Different movie genres attract different sexes.

Young single women don't even watch rom-coms, that is older single women

When I was in my early-mid 20s, the main genres my female friends watched were horrors and non-rom-coms, and they didn't shy away from action stuff either.

Mr Blonde · 22 May 2019 at 11:10

adam cool dude said:
Can men and women be friends on a personal basis? One side has to have an attraction of some sort. Maybe I am not with the modern times but all my friends are male. I have women associates but I wouldn't go to the cinema with them or a weekend away like I do with my male friends and the only time that happens is because my wife has different hobbies otherwise we would go together.

Your female friend getting all weird with your gf is more than likely because she wants you to smash her pasty even though you would more than likely ever entertain the idea.

Of course men and women can be friends on a personal level and yes, with some there may be some sort of attraction either or both ways. But unless you want a good friendship to go down the pan or mess up other's lives you simply keep that side of it under wraps. I've got a mixed bag of friends - some of the women are just friends to one degree or another, while one or two others I've liked for a long time. None of this means that I or they have to act on those feelings at all. A few of us, both men and women go to the pub, meals out, meals/parties/bbq's etc at someone's house, play tennis and golf together and go on skiing trips. I doubt too many of us would want to see the same films though.

kindai · 22 May 2019 at 11:26

Sounds like you need a better GF tbh.

CHokKA · 22 May 2019 at 11:39

Are these really adult problems these days? It's like something from a schoolyard. Just tell her to sod off and stop talking to her. Delete and block her from your phone, and whatever on Facebook. Cut ties. It's pretty easy to do. I don't even know why this is something you need advice from the internet about. Just get on with it.

Psycho Sonny · 22 May 2019 at 11:41

CHokKA said:
Are these really adult problems these days? It's like something from a schoolyard. Just tell her to sod off and stop talking to her. Delete and block her from your phone, and whatever on Facebook. Cut ties. It's pretty easy to do. I don't even know why this is something you need advice from the internet about. Just get on with it.

It's not easy to do if you secretly love them.

Which is the elephant in the room he is ignoring

CHokKA · 22 May 2019 at 11:42

Psycho Sonny said:
It's not easy to do if you secretly love them.

Which is the elephant in the room he is ignoring

True, but she sounds like an absolute mess so I'd steer well clear.

StoutMeister · 22 May 2019 at 12:21

CHokKA said:
True, but she sounds like an absolute mess so I'd steer well clear.

Excuse me!

builder22 · 22 May 2019 at 12:53

OP, you write a lot of words for someone who doesn’t know what to say

Schlong&Stable · 22 May 2019 at 13:02

Turns out the friend is a lovely lady using dark humour to protect her broken heart. Meanwhile OP rampages in and accuses her of being a gold digger and sets her on the downward spiral that will ultimately end with her posting on mumsnet.

I can't believe the OP took advice from GD... madness.

Illusion · 22 May 2019 at 13:18

Some of this sounds very familiar to me. I had a life long friend that I parted ways with around a year ago as she set me up with a girl and then turned on her within a couple of months, constantly talked bad about her behind my back, ruined my 30th birthday, insulted my family, all sorts. In the end she had done so much damage and was so blind to how unacceptable her behaviour was that after we argued very briefly we just never spoke since and I didn't even have to spell it out to her. Rather amusingly she is also with a guy just for what he can provide for her despite very clearly being depressed and unhappy with her life.

Your friend sounds like a horrible person and this entire situation sounds rather childish (other than the fact the friend married a guy who was in a position to leave an estate to her). If you value your girlfriend and her feelings you should probably have cut ties with this friend already. I'm not sure how you are struggling with what to say though. "You show no respect and make no effort with xyz, a person I care about and a true friend wouldn't do that, I want to make things work with her and I can't do so while continuing my friendship with you"

I'm sure her reaction will be entertaining for you but get this toxic idiot out of your life for both you and your girlfriends sake

adam cool dude · 22 May 2019 at 14:03

Psycho Sonny said:
What movies were you watching? Rom-Coms? As I doubt many young single women would be wanting to go watch Creed 2 / Avengers, etc for instance as a first choice. Different movie genres attract different sexes.

We were watching Matrix trilogy, LOTR, Star Wars prequels etc in my teenage years/ early twenties.

How to tell a friend we no longer can be friends?

Capodecina

Sgarrista