It sounds like "Pc Gamers" are more obsessed with loading up a benchmark or FPS counter than actually playing a game.
Unless a game was a stuttering mess I'd quite imagine gaming at 1440p + on any mid range cpu with a decent GPU is going to be a good experience.
Intel definitely have the lead on a lot of gaming benchmarks I've seen. Although the differences are more prominent at low resolutions. At 4k the cpu becomes more or less irrelevant and that difference is a couple of percent. Noticeable only to someone obsessing with benchmarks again.
The way I see it is that if you own an RTX 2080 you're gonna have a good gaming experience on any CPU that costs more than £150. However if you are streaming and doing cpu intensive work then one CPU manufacturer is providing considerably more bang for buck right now.
You're not wrong. No one really needs anything but a 3600/9600k for gaming. Most people who buy higher end parts have some spare cash they don't need it buy it anyway because they want to feel good by getting a good score. So yes like you said a lot of PC gamers spend half their time looking at bar charts