Do you charge your children "keep" or rent? Do/did you pay it yourself?

Associate
Joined
18 Oct 2002
Posts
1,366
Yes. Men and women are different, and I would parent as such.

:edit: I should clarify, I'm not sure about either. I don't think I would want to with a daughter, but for I son I'm less sure.
They should be treated equally as they wanted the vote and equality didn't they?lol
 
Man of Honour
Joined
15 Jan 2006
Posts
32,405
Location
Tosche Station
Well everyone parents slightly differently at times based on gender, but spill the beans, what are you thinking of that might make you charge a son rent, but not a daughter purely based on gender?

Genuine intrigue..
I think it's perfectly natural and likely very common to feel more protective of women than men.

I would not like to feel that a young woman I've brought in to the world and been responsible for suddenly has to make a decision between financial sacrifice and ensuring that she has a safe roof over her head. I wouldn't feel quite the same about a man. In addition, I think women tend to feel less negative emotion about being supported, so are able to accept that support more positively, whereas men tend not to, on average. I think as a result, women are less likely to be detrimentally impacted from being given that support than men. I also don't believe women need to be taught quite the same lessons as men at every stage in their lives.


Yes, and I want happy about because they didn't even need the money.

giphy.gif
 
Last edited:
Caporegime
Joined
13 Jan 2010
Posts
32,586
Location
Llaneirwg
Man literally my upbringing. I only cut the grass, painted the external house, I remember emptying the garage to paint internally etc etc etc. up at 5am everyday on school holidays to go work at family business and back at 8-9pm (unpaid ofc).

Just a normal upbringing imo. A good one too, young boys should 100% have tough chores.

OK, I didn't have it that bad. Only my weekends were sucked up.
At that point I thought **** it.. I'll rent. If I have to work my weekends for free, I'm basically paying full rent! :D
 
Soldato
Joined
13 Apr 2013
Posts
12,441
Location
La France
I didn’t because neither of my daughters were working when they lived at home. They both went to uni and never came back.

When I lived with my parents, I was paying my share of the household bills. My share was decided by my mother who managed all the household finances as my dad was hopeless with money. He basically handed over his wage packet every week and was given back enough money for cigarettes and a little flutter on the horses on a Saturday.
 
Soldato
Joined
14 Dec 2005
Posts
5,007
£20 a week that was never asked for then out of the blue was asked for a lump sum, that may or may not have been paid

as you can imagine I'm now great with finances :p
 
Soldato
Joined
3 Dec 2002
Posts
4,003
Location
Groovin' @ the disco
I think it's perfectly natural and likely very common to feel more protective of women than men.

I would not like to feel that a young woman I've brought in to the world and been responsible for suddenly has to make a decision between financial sacrifice and ensuring that she has a safe roof over her head. I wouldn't feel quite the same about a man. In addition, I think women tend to feel less negative emotion about being supported, so are able to accept that support more positively, whereas men tend not to, on average. I think as a result, women are less likely to be detrimentally impacted from being given that support than men. I also don't believe women need to be taught quite the same lessons as men at every stage in their lives.

Do you not think that is would stump their development? Would it not be better for them to learn this while they are young and still under your roof, so you can help them?

I mean if they are short one week/month.. then they can pay the difference in addition next week/month. Not many landlords would be as flexible as this.

The book, the millionaire next door did research on this and it turned out that naturally parents do free more protective of girls but the vast majority of them (the girls) never took on any financial responsibility in their lives and left it all to their man.
 
Man of Honour
Joined
15 Jan 2006
Posts
32,405
Location
Tosche Station
Do you not think that is would stump their development? Would it not be better for them to learn this while they are young and still under your roof, so you can help them?

I mean if they are short one week/month.. then they can pay the difference in addition next week/month. Not many landlords would be as flexible as this.

The book, the millionaire next door did research on this and it turned out that naturally parents do free more protective of girls but the vast majority of them (the girls) never took on any financial responsibility in their lives and left it all to their man.
Is the last paragraph really that much of a problem?

I don't really have massively strong opinions about it, just something I discovered about my feelings on it while typing the post. Your example about being short sort of proves my point, a man is likely to be in less danger by making the mistake and learning the lesson of being short on landlord rent than their female equivalent.
 
Soldato
Joined
11 Jun 2011
Posts
3,875
Location
Northampton
In 2001 i was charged £35 a week, i was 16.

My eldest who is on a decent 25 k a year aged 18 is charged £200 a month, includes all food and weekly take always etc….
She has saved some 10k in 6 months i think so she’s doing well enough
 
Last edited:
Caporegime
Joined
30 Jul 2013
Posts
28,938
As soon as I started college my parents said I had to get a part-time job and pay keep, which I did.

Think I was earning £270 a month (around 1998) for 15 hours work a week in the evening and had to give them £50 a month, so not too bad.

Ironically my 18 year nephew (their grandson) lives with them now, earns £1000+ a month and doesn't have to pay anything! Lucky git.
 
Associate
Joined
15 Jan 2011
Posts
853
I paid 10% net of my first salary living at home after uni. I think it was roughly £200 a month. Didn't increase it a lot as I earned more though due to saving for a house deposit.
 
Man of Honour
Joined
13 Oct 2006
Posts
91,330
My parents charge nominal amounts, mostly to cover things like cost of electricity used that they otherwise wouldn't have used, etc.

Personally not a fan of when parents [secretly] save it up to give it back later, I don't think I'd forgive my parents for doing that rather than treat me like an adult and trust me to do my own finances and/or have a discussion about it up front with guidance or whatever in relation to saving/investing it.

EDIT: PS don't be the parent that always moans their kids never do chores but then also don't give them the chance to do it and/or expect them to jump in and do stuff they aren't in the loop of how it is done :s
 
Last edited:
Soldato
Joined
18 Jul 2021
Posts
4,375
Location
Land of Gin (I wish)
When I lived with my parents when working - I gave them £150 a month (2007-10) and a portion of that was on a supermarket gift card as my then employer had a scheme where could buy gift cards and vouchers for various retailers with 4-6.5% off. That was taken from my monthly pay. Plus could ring up to buy a one off gift card purchase for things like holidays, TVs etc.
 
Associate
Joined
26 Mar 2009
Posts
79
I never paid rent, I didn’t have any money left over to! On my 17th birthday my dad presented me with a new Corsa - he had got a decent deal and it came with 2 years free insurance - nice you might think, only he had only paid the deposit the monthly repayment was to go from me to his bank every month. It basically took most of my wage each month from the weekend job I had, all of it to put petrol in the tank so I couldn’t afford to do anything else except go to friends houses with it. I just remember being in 6th form and being in discussions about what everyone was doing at the weekend and I was just working to pay off my debts I hadn’t even asked for lol

Still in two minds about it now. My dad wanted me to have independence (and didn’t want to be my taxi), wanted me to learn in my own car (I passed my test a month after turning 17 so it did work) and it taught me never to go into debt again. On the other hand I missed out so much fun in my late teens…
 
Last edited:
Soldato
Joined
20 Dec 2004
Posts
15,865
My step-dad declared I would have to start paying rent the day I passed my last A-level. It ended up a blazing row and I walked out and didn't go back.

I guess mission accomplished from his POV.
 
Back
Top Bottom