Are you afraid of death?

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@Blackvault

Respect about the comments to your Dad.
I lost mine in February and not been holding together well. I wish he was around for what I will achieve over these next few years, its really sad he wont be here.

Now truthfully, I am absolutely petrified of death. I always have been.

Dad passed away due to Heart Failure at the age of 62 and I dont have a clue what to do, I want to find out if there is any genetic or hereditary issues, but I dont want it also hanging over my head with a possible "this is how many years you have left" situation.
Really unsure how to move forward as I want to know if there is something I should worry about or try to live healthier due to, or just enjoy myself and take each day as it comes.
 
Jesus, wasnt ready to read that this morning.

I myself dont fear death as such, maybe its just my naivety of still being in my 30's. But as my dad reaches 60, its something I think about quite often and the thought of losing close family members scares me more than my own demise.
 
sidimmu said:
@Blackvault

Respect about the comments to your Dad.
I lost mine in February and not been holding together well. I wish he was around for what I will achieve over these next few years, its really sad he wont be here.

Now truthfully, I am absolutely petrified of death. I always have been.

Dad passed away due to Heart Failure at the age of 62 and I dont have a clue what to do, I want to find out if there is any genetic or hereditary issues, but I dont want it also hanging over my head with a possible "this is how many years you have left" situation.
Really unsure how to move forward as I want to know if there is something I should worry about or try to live healthier due to, or just enjoy myself and take each day as it comes.
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I'm really sorry to hear that Sidimmu. I know it might not feel like it now, but things do get better with time, or at least diminish. If you wish to chat, my email is in my trust.
 
Chrisc said:
Jesus, wasnt ready to read that this morning.

I myself dont fear death as such, maybe its just my naivety of still being in my 30's. But as my dad reaches 60, its something I think about quite often and the thought of losing close family members scares me more than my own demise.
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Apologies if you are referring to my post.

I dont know you as a person or anything about your dad etc etc, I can only make the connections of, I am currently 24, dad was 62. Dont make the same mistakes I have made so you dont get the same regrets.
If there is anything you want to say or tell your dad, do it whilst you can and everyones in good health.

Blackvault said:
I'm really sorry to hear that Sidimmu. I know it might not feel like it now, but things do get better with time, or at least diminish. If you wish to chat, my email is in my trust.
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Thank you, everyone says the same and I know it does, as I get some easier days. My biggest struggle is the loss of time in my view, dad was taken far too soon, there was at least another 5-10 years in him.

Any ideas on the testing anyone?
Maybe we should poll this instead, "Should Sidimmu get a 23andme test?"
Could then document the level of anxiety it gives me up to finding out and potentially afterwards! haha
 
Having been ill with long covid and my main symptoms being a high heart rate and oxygen drops on moving, dying is currently more likely now than ever.

I'm a Christian who believes those who struggle are being tested by God, like Job.

I'm not afraid of dying as I will be returning to God, or to dust.
 
sidimmu said:
Apologies if you are referring to my post.

I dont know you as a person or anything about your dad etc etc, I can only make the connections of, I am currently 24, dad was 62. Dont make the same mistakes I have made so you dont get the same regrets.
If there is anything you want to say or tell your dad, do it whilst you can and everyones in good health.

Thank you, everyone says the same and I know it does, as I get some easier days. My biggest struggle is the loss of time in my view, dad was taken far too soon, there was at least another 5-10 years in him.
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We share similarities. I was around your age when dad died and he was a similar age to yours. :(

I know how you feel regarding the loss of time with him. As I mentioned in my post earlier, it's those big moments in life you miss them.

I had a conversation with Dad sitting in the car waiting for it to be MOT'd and asked, if would he prefer this current situation or a sudden death with no warning. He said while it was hard going through a terminal diagnosis and the associated cancer treatment, he preferred the current situation as it gave him time for closure and prepare those of us he left behind. From reading your post, was his death sudden or little warning? If that is the case, I'm really sorry and I can't imagine what it must be like for you and your wider family. I hope you have some fond memories of him :)
 
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sidimmu said:
Apologies if you are referring to my post.

I dont know you as a person or anything about your dad etc etc, I can only make the connections of, I am currently 24, dad was 62. Dont make the same mistakes I have made so you dont get the same regrets.
If there is anything you want to say or tell your dad, do it whilst you can and everyones in good health.
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im Lucky, me and my dad have a great relationship, and every meeting is met with a hug and kind words. Sure we wind each other up, but that's what we're supposed to do right?

As his dad died shortly after his 60th I think this plays on his mind almost daily and in recent years we have made an effort to spend more time together and i think my grandads early death has played a big part in that. Especially from me anyway.
 
Blackvault said:
We share similarities. I was around your age when dad died and he was a similar age to yours. :(

I know how you feel regarding the loss of time with him. As I mentioned in my post earlier, it's those big moments in life you miss them.

I had a conversation with Dad sitting in the car waiting for it to be MOT'd and asked, if would he prefer this current situation or a sudden death with no warning. He said while it was hard going through a terminal diagnosis and the associated cancer treatment, he preferred the current situation as it gave him time for closure and prepare those of us he left behind. From reading your post, was his death sudden or little warning? If that is the case, I'm really sorry and I can't imagine what it must be like for you and your wider family. I hope you have some fond memories of him :)
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Thank you for your kind words and yes it appears we have a lot of similarities here.
It is these big moments that is destroying me a bit, I have not achieved much so far but am achieving things now, but hes never seen me really happy, married, grand children etc.

As for the situational side of things, my dad was the same he wouldnt want to be in ill health for a long time, enough time to say his goodbyes, but not so much he becomes trapped inside his own body.
Dad was taken quite quickly, he went in to hospital mid Jan for some problems and uncomfort with food and toilet stuff, dad improved during his time at the hospital, but they did make us aware he was seriously ill and wont be improving, but can still enjoy his life, said he would be released on the following Wednesday, he actually passed on the Monday morning.

So yeah realistically, it was all very sudden as I had spoken to dad and supported him during his time in hospital but we didnt know the severity of it all. When we did get told severity of it all, comments made us believe we had a bit more time and these are the conversations I'd want to have in his home, not in a hospital bay with 6 other patients.

So yeah sorry for going very deep into this, but its really tough as;
1 - I miss him greatly
2 - feel like I have had time taken away
3 - There is things I wanted to tell him, take him to, that I wont have the chance to do anymore.

I have memories of Dad, a lot of good ones, some bad ones.

Chrisc said:
im Lucky, me and my dad have a great relationship, and every meeting is met with a hug and kind words. Sure we wind each other up, but that's what we're supposed to do right?

As his dad died shortly after his 60th I think this plays on his mind almost daily and in recent years we have made an effort to spend more time together and i think my grandads early death has played a big part in that. Especially from me anyway.
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Yes it is.
I really understand and respect your dad's view though and this is where I sit, except i am not 60 currently, but in my mid 30's and worrying if my time is going to be up in my 60's? If so, I better go achieve some things asap.
 
BowdonUK said:
Having been ill with long covid and my main symptoms being a high heart rate and oxygen drops on moving, dying is currently more likely now than ever.

I'm a Christian who believes those who struggle are being tested by God, like Job.

I'm not afraid of dying as I will be returning to God, or to dust.
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If a faith helps you with that then all power to you.

I'm not sure if your book says anything about stubbornness but, whatever the case, it's definitely an allowable virtue in these cases. Keep on battling.

Mason- said:
In answer to the OP. Yes, and I think anyone who says otherwise, that’s just bravado.
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Or it's just another way of thinking.

I'm definitely not afraid of being dead. I wasn't afraid before I was born.
 
Mad isn't it? We don't care about death when we are dead, only when we are alive. I think it is right to say that we fear the absence of life, rather than death.
 
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Not bothered, I’ve lived a good life. Didn’t know anything before, won’t be any different after. Just don’t want it to be long and drawn out.
 
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Funny me and the mrs was talking about this the other day, as we are both pushing into our 50s now and some friends/family are now starting to pass away on a more regular occurrence as its the way of things I guess, Not afraid of dying as such but not wanting to go as still too much to learn & experience. If I can get 2-3 years of healthy retirement where I can play computer games well into the early hours, get up and repeat the same thing for weeks on end without giving a damm I think I could say happy great life :)

She is not happy about the gaming though, I said that's fine as you will be in care home anyway, she liked that less :)
 
SPG said:
Funny me and the mrs was talking about this the other day, as we are both pushing into our 50s now and some friends/family are now starting to pass away on a more regular occurrence as its the way of things I guess, Not afraid of dying as such but not wanting to go as still too much to learn & experience. If I can get 2-3 years of healthy retirement where I can play computer games well into the early hours, get up and repeat the same thing for weeks on end without giving a damm I think I could say happy great life :)

She is not happy about the gaming though, I said that's fine as you will be in care home anyway, she liked that less :)
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I remember thinking 10 years ago. I wonder if in 2040-50ish time, there will be a resurgence of MMOs, with retired people playing them. You’ll have this generation that grew up playing WoW, RuneScape and all the others. Now having loads of free time in retirement.
 
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Not afraid of it as such, but not looking forward to it, I like living. I'm hoping I go quietly in my sleep in my 90s.

In my 50's now and keep seeing FaceBook posts from friends lamenting the loss of a loved one and with my parents and in laws all in their 70s I'm very aware we could lose any of them at any time. :(
 
Mason- said:
I remember thinking 10 years ago. I wonder if in 2040-50ish time, there will be a resurgence of MMOs, with retired people playing them. You’ll have this generation that grew up playing WoW, RuneScape and all the others. Now having loads of free time in retirement.
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Depends if they keep the tripple lock and its subs based. None of this FTP stuff
 
Not particularly afraid of death in itself.

But the thought of loved ones not being around, or me leaving behind loved ones fills me with a sadness I can't begin to understand how to deal with.
 
I used to get in to a terrible state as a child constantly thinking about death. Not the act in itself but the other-side of it; attempting to comprehend it. What is nothingness? Then around 25 years ago, in my early 20s, I had a revelation or an epiphany which went simply; I did not remember my birth, I shall not remember my death. Never really thought about it since.

As others have said; make the most of this faecal-storm, it's the only weather you're gonna get.
 
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