This Business and Moment...

[Noxia]

Exactly, you've just got to realise you're not the only one who experiences some form of imposter syndrome.

Just be confident in your abilities, be honest but don't undersell yourself.

It's really on the tech stuff, though I've come to realise by looking at role specs internally and also the del partners one, that there are plenty of areas I'm a much higher level at than would be expected for a grad (I'm basically being treated as a proxy team member and coached as if I'd just joined them out of uni which I never went to). A lot of the skills/knowledge are also around collaboration, agile working etc etc which I am very comfortable with due to prior roles, and I have a fair bit of domain knowledge which helps.
I was told that a lot of people in my situation go on to become really great devs because of the delivery background and knowing what is expected and how to do things. Like I get people generally hate standups/retros etc etc, but having been on both sides of it now I feel I Can truly appreciate the frustrations, but more importantly the value of it all.

If I was a scrum master I'd feel way more comfortable when I went away knowing I had at least one person who knows how to do the role as backup to keep things rolling. As usual the biggest blocker is my annoying anxious mind.

 

[LuckyBenski]

It's really on the tech stuff, though I've come to realise by looking at role specs internally and also the del partners one, that there are plenty of areas I'm a much higher level at than would be expected for a grad (I'm basically being treated as a proxy team member and coached as if I'd just joined them out of uni which I never went to). A lot of the skills/knowledge are also around collaboration, agile working etc etc which I am very comfortable with due to prior roles, and I have a fair bit of domain knowledge which helps.
I was told that a lot of people in my situation go on to become really great devs because of the delivery background and knowing what is expected and how to do things. Like I get people generally hate standups/retros etc etc, but having been on both sides of it now I feel I Can truly appreciate the frustrations, but more importantly the value of it all.

If I was a scrum master I'd feel way more comfortable when I went away knowing I had at least one person who knows how to do the role as backup to keep things rolling. As usual the biggest blocker is my annoying anxious mind.

I think you're right that the inner voice is what's getting in your way here. I started out on a device test and conformance team, and slowly moved sideways through testing our own apps, then testing code fixes, then code reviews of them. Then I started doing config changes in the codebase and then talked my way onto the team as a dev.

I spent 2 years feeling I didn't have the grounding as a developer, lots of missing base principles. But what I did have was a strong knowledge of the device base and the testing process/needs. I was like a bridge between the dev team and the conformance team.

I've now come back to run our test lab and it's even more valuable having been on the dev team and understanding both sides of the equation and the bigger picture.

Your existing skills and experience are very strong points, they're helping not hindering. It sounds like your team are understanding about any gaps you might have and are prepared to help you get them filled in as you settle!

 

[-westy-]

Have had a dispute with a colleague - HR involved after perceived threats of spreading personal information about me to damage my reputation and working relationships. Unfortunately discussion with HR went nowhere, with their representative talking over me and defending said colleague.

Apparently asking to discuss our disagreement with a line manager present was "threatening" - now said colleague wants all communications to have both of our line managers copied in - and HR are backing her. Whilst I'm fairly unwilling to enable this sort of behaviour, any thoughts on how I should handle this, other than "playing the game" and letting it blow over?

This colleague's behaviour (argumentative, confrontational) has alienated several members of her team, with several of them refusing to work with her - yet HR are still backing her. For info, she is an Iranian National (been in the UK 15+ years however), so I'm wondering whether HR are just protecting the company from a constructive dismissal problem?

 

[Converge]

In my experience (and probably tarnished by it), raising a grievance rarely ends well. If they’re not in your corner from the start, or you suspect that to be the case, then it’s just not going to end favourably for you. Business going to business, I’m afraid. If you can, move on, or at least to a different area/team. Do it while you can, if it’s still an option.

I took redundancy as soon as I could when I had a similar situation. The person who caused me so much grief has gone on to bigger things even though they left a trail of crying ex-colleagues, people leaving through stress, etc.

One of the only times in my life I’ve truly despised someone and I hope they get their comeuppance one day.

Wish you the best of luck.

 

[mid_gen]

Have had a dispute with a colleague - HR involved after perceived threats of spreading personal information about me to damage my reputation and working relationships. Unfortunately discussion with HR went nowhere, with their representative talking over me and defending said colleague.

Apparently asking to discuss our disagreement with a line manager present was "threatening" - now said colleague wants all communications to have both of our line managers copied in - and HR are backing her. Whilst I'm fairly unwilling to enable this sort of behaviour, any thoughts on how I should handle this, other than "playing the game" and letting it blow over?

This colleague's behaviour (argumentative, confrontational) has alienated several members of her team, with several of them refusing to work with her - yet HR are still backing her. For info, she is an Iranian National (been in the UK 15+ years however), so I'm wondering whether HR are just protecting the company from a constructive dismissal problem?

Sounds like standard mediation. Suggest you try and play along.

If however it's clear you are in the wrong in the eyes of the company, and management aren't on your side, then you are done, and need to find a new job, sooner or later.

The question becomes is it viable/worth pursuing recourse post-facto if you feel like you've been legally wronged. This course of action is unwise unless you fancy a career change as in reality it'll get you ****-listed.

I don't think trying to blame this on race is going to do you any favors, rather indicates to me that you may be the problem.

 

[-westy-]

Sounds like standard mediation. Suggest you try and play along.

If however it's clear you are in the wrong in the eyes of the company, and management aren't on your side, then you are done, and need to find a new job, sooner or later.

The question becomes is it viable/worth pursuing recourse post-facto if you feel like you've been legally wronged. This course of action is unwise unless you fancy a career change as in reality it'll get you ****-listed.

I don't think trying to blame this on race is going to do you any favors, rather indicates to me that you may be the problem.

Just to be clear - this was the suggestion of a colleague - I don’t believe this myself, moreso just attempting to consider every angle in order to understand.

Seems to me like I should leave it be, there are other reports of her behaviour coming from her immediate colleagues heading to HR, fingers crossed they’ll deal with it appropriately. Thankfully we’re on different teams and have very few interactions, so it’ll eventually pass. In the meantime I’ll be keeping my eye out for new roles anyway; I’ve been at my current place for 8 years and perhaps it’s a sign to move on.

 

[mid_gen]

Just to be clear - this was the suggestion of a colleague - I don’t believe this myself, moreso just attempting to consider every angle in order to understand.

Seems to me like I should leave it be, there are other reports of her behaviour coming from her immediate colleagues heading to HR, fingers crossed they’ll deal with it appropriately. Thankfully we’re on different teams and have very few interactions, so it’ll eventually pass. In the meantime I’ll be keeping my eye out for new roles anyway; I’ve been at my current place for 8 years and perhaps it’s a sign to move on.

If you’ve got involved in something like this with HR then just do as requested. Get everything in writing (email) what they are asking you to do. Have regular checkpoints with your manager and get them to write a mail to HR saying that you have done exactly as requested. Just play ball basically, be accommodating, accept there may have been a misunderstanding.

Not really any more to be done than that, anything else will require people higher up the chain being on your side in the event of an escalation.

 

[OspreyO]

It's possible the colleague creates these conflicts to enhance their position and damage other peoples position. If so they probably have long cultivated relationships (networking) with a person or persons in HR and line management. Probably why they get away with it.

As such I would de-escalate and give this person a wide birth, even blank them going forward. This perceived thread is probably a tactic to cause conflict, and that's all it is. You've been suckered and risen to the bait.

Don't feed the trolls.

 

[OspreyO]

Had a session on imposter syndrome on a course I did recently but man, it is hitting me so hard I'm not sure if I should even continue. Then I think, well everyone started somewhere and I have a golden opportunity to switch trades (Was a del mgr) in the same team which not many people do, so that encourages me. Just feel a bit of an idiot when people are talking about stuff I have zero idea about and then someone will go (real example) Oh Noxia, what's your experience with unit testing? And like with a lot of these things I have to say how I understand the value of it etc etc but literally zero practical experience.

Then I also remind myself these people have been doing ot for years, and I've just been a hobbyist who has a broad range of inch deep knowledge on stuff. If I **** this up it will absolutely be because I couldn't silence the inner voices.

Can't know everything. You'll go crazy with that expectation..

 

[NickK]

I took redundancy as soon as I could when I had a similar situation. The person who caused me so much grief has gone on to bigger things even though they left a trail of crying ex-colleagues, people leaving through stress, etc.

One of the only times in my life I’ve truly despised someone and I hope they get their comeuppance one day.

I remember one toxic ex-colleague who, whilst working with him said "I just need them to fail" and would actively work create a negative view and then do something not defendable following by pushing for removal. It appears that's the way within the organisation, he's being mentored by senior leadership and went up in the world. He is learning to play the political game of thrones.

I left but due to a the company decentralising after previously centralising, the board changed their minds and with the local roles being filled already no roles exist. I could see all this happening but it doesn't make it a pleasant experience (or one that doesn't damage your sanity).

I agree with @OspreyO it seems you're in their competitive sights. The only way to bypass them is to be recognised for excellence and gain social exposure to built a reputation so people go "that doesn't sound like him, so something odd..".

 

[NickK]

Can't know everything. You'll go crazy with that expectation..

He also has the knowledge he doesn't know everything - use that, research to get solutions and prevents a static approach to life.

I remember going to a leadership course, I just did my job of managing 4 products with a total of 106 people (the majority had severe issues before they'd be assigned to me to sort out). Turns out the way I'd worked out how to operate on my own over the previous three years was the approach they taught in the course. I turned up feeling like I was an imposter, turns out I was the more senior (experience) individual, and the course validated my approach which was the cherry on the top. It gave me confidence.

 

[-westy-]

If you’ve got involved in something like this with HR then just do as requested. Get everything in writing (email) what they are asking you to do. Have regular checkpoints with your manager and get them to write a mail to HR saying that you have done exactly as requested. Just play ball basically, be accommodating, accept there may have been a misunderstanding.

Not really any more to be done than that, anything else will require people higher up the chain being on your side in the event of an escalation.

Yep, I think that's the best course of action. I did ask the HE rep why said colleague wanted line managers copied in on all comms, they refused to elaborate, nor assist. So I think I'll just leave it - it's clear that I don't have their support, so will just get everything in writing and be accommodating. Anything else and I'll just be the "bad guy", despite having done nothing wrong.

This particular person is doing a good job of alienating everyone in her team, from being removed from projects to other colleagues just flat out refusing to work with her - so I'm sure at some point, something will change.

 

[OspreyO]

He also has the knowledge he doesn't know everything - use that, research to get solutions and prevents a static approach to life.

The best teams I've worked with didn't know everything. Not knowing everything meant they had less ego and had no problems working collaboratively to a solution or task.

The people who knew everything, or who thought they did, were the most difficult to work with. They were never open to any solution other than their own opinion.

If someone doesn't know everything they should to be more curious to discover new things. That's a great team.

 

[OspreyO]

Yep, I think that's the best course of action. I did ask the HE rep why said colleague wanted line managers copied in on all comms, they refused to elaborate, nor assist. So I think I'll just leave it - it's clear that I don't have their support, so will just get everything in writing and be accommodating. Anything else and I'll just be the "bad guy", despite having done nothing wrong.

This particular person is doing a good job of alienating everyone in her team, from being removed from projects to other colleagues just flat out refusing to work with her - so I'm sure at some point, something will change.

I think you have to play your own game here. Protect yourself by doing everything by the book and be squeaky clean.

The difficult colleague will get bored and move on to another target. Their habits will get them into trouble at some point.

Its not your job to police them or enforce fairness. It's a distraction to be avoided.

 

[-westy-]

I think you have to play your own game here. Protect yourself by doing everything by the book and be squeaky clean.

The difficult colleague will get bored and move on to another target. Their habits will get them into trouble at some point.

Its not your job to police them or enforce fairness. It's a distraction to be avoided.

Yep, I agree.

I've gone back to HR with a couple of questions for clarity however - firstly asking why line managers need to be copied in on communications, and how long this must be done for - all at the advice of ACAS. Don't intend on making more fuss than that - just seek some clarity and keep my head down.

Like you said, she'll get bored eventually, and potentially find herself in trouble.

 

[Martynt74]

Just realised i have 23.5 days to take before the end of the year and am in the middle of a huge project. I really need to get better at taking time off work!

 

[NickK]

Just realised i have 23.5 days to take before the end of the year and am in the middle of a huge project. I really need to get better at taking time off work!

I remember ending up taking December off.. worked out quite well but by the end of the month, I'd practically forgotten everything..

One place I used to work at mandated everyone had to take 10 consecutive work days of vacation where both the company and employee could not contact each other (risk and fraud discovery). Everyone had to sign confirmation at the end of the year as part of their employment contract. You'd take two weeks and everyone understood, if the company really moved forward in that time it's unlikely. Also meant that people had time to de-stress. I actually liked it.

 

[OspreyO]

We've a few who wait until they've a huge amount of leave built to take holidays. Causes no end of problems trying to cover them.

 

[OldKitMan]

I remember ending up taking December off.. worked out quite well but by the end of the month, I'd practically forgotten everything..

One place I used to work at mandated everyone had to take 10 consecutive work days of vacation where both the company and employee could not contact each other (risk and fraud discovery). Everyone had to sign confirmation at the end of the year as part of their employment contract. You'd take two weeks and everyone understood, if the company really moved forward in that time it's unlikely. Also meant that people had time to de-stress. I actually liked it.

I've been at a couple of Financial Services places that have the policy in place. Makes complete sense.

 

[Martynt74]

I'm used to being able to sell them back and always preferred that option. Was always a nice December bonus and with working from home, it's quite relaxed for appointments etc where i just work to catch up time. However a contract change stopped the selling of holidays and so this year i've ended up adding last years unused days onto this year!