OcUK Dadsnet thread

fez said:
I blame social media for a lot of this. I have no idea how many mums aren't following loads of "mummy influencers" on social media but by and large they are as bad as any other influencers. Zero science to back up the crap they spout and generally just there to make people feel bad about their own lives/parenting.

What on earth do people think is going to happen when you leave a baby in a car for 5 minutes in a car seat? Are they going to undo the belt that is designed so they can't undo it. Jump out of their seat, open the door, run across the road and jump in front of a car?

No. Its just people being ridiculous.
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I guess my wife would be worried about her choking on something. But I do often ask her, what's the source of the information you've given me? She's extremely caring, but she's also very nervous. Our baby was very hard to come by - I know all babies are precious, but she feels extra precious I guess, so she doesn't want to **** her up. I'm sure that would diminish if we were able to have another child.
 
dirtychinchilla said:
I guess my wife would be worried about her choking on something. But I do often ask her, what's the source of the information you've given me? She's extremely caring, but she's also very nervous. Our baby was very hard to come by - I know all babies are precious, but she feels extra precious I guess, so she doesn't want to **** her up. I'm sure that would diminish if we were able to have another child.
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Its just one of those things that doesn't hold up to much scrutiny. I had one of these discussions with my partner the other day. I want to get an e-cargo bike so we don't need a second car and I can take the boys to nursery easily and especially when we live further away than we do now.

She didn't like the idea because she doesn't think its safe. Now I can understand that but when I asked her if she will let them ride their bikes on the road when they are older she said yes. I would argue that them being on the back of a bike with me is far safer than them being on a bike on their own. I would also argue that just because they are 2.5 vs 10 doesn't make their lives any more precious.

I know many of these things are emotionally charged but there should be some logic to it.

Why is a baby more likely to choke in the back of a car seat at the exact time you are paying for fuel vs any other time in the day/night when you aren't watching them every second?
 
fez said:
Why is a baby more likely to choke in the back of a car seat at the exact time you are paying for fuel vs any other time in the day/night when you aren't watching them every second?
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They aren't, but the chance of you noticing if they're a few metres away from you in another room is probably higher than if you're in the petrol station. I just didn't leave her with anything to choke on so it wasn't a big deal
 
Azza said:
Use a wipe for the initial mop up and then slightly warm water and cotton pads for on skin, for a couple of weeks and it'll clear up quickly. I've always found bepanthen to be a lot better than sudocream when it comes to helping an actual rash.
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Completely agree with this, we use sudocrem or supermarket own version for the day 2 day, as soon as there is soreness the bepanthem comes straight out and typically clears it up in a day or so
 
TommyV said:
Completely agree with this, we use sudocrem or supermarket own version for the day 2 day, as soon as there is soreness the bepanthem comes straight out and typically clears it up in a day or so
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We find Vaseline works easier day to day - sudocrem just seems to get everywhere without even trying! :cry:
 
fez said:
Its just one of those things that doesn't hold up to much scrutiny. I had one of these discussions with my partner the other day. I want to get an e-cargo bike so we don't need a second car and I can take the boys to nursery easily and especially when we live further away than we do now.

She didn't like the idea because she doesn't think its safe. Now I can understand that but when I asked her if she will let them ride their bikes on the road when they are older she said yes. I would argue that them being on the back of a bike with me is far safer than them being on a bike on their own. I would also argue that just because they are 2.5 vs 10 doesn't make their lives any more precious.

I know many of these things are emotionally charged but there should be some logic to it.

Why is a baby more likely to choke in the back of a car seat at the exact time you are paying for fuel vs any other time in the day/night when you aren't watching them every second?
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I must admit that things like this wind me up no end. I can understand that mothers often feel much more strongly about these things, but it creates a sense of distrust when you want to do something a certain way and it's immediately dismissed due to irrational fears or nonsense they've seen on social media.

I've seen it go too far in one direction, with the mother having full control and the father having little to no input. Then, they often get accused of only doing the fun/easy stuff with the kids.
 
Ayahuasca said:
I've seen it go too far in one direction, with the mother having full control and the father having little to no input. Then, they often get accused of only doing the fun/easy stuff with the kids.
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Oh one of my mates is entirely like this. He wants to be a chilled out dad and far more old fashioned but the mum is so neurotic about the children that it just ends up with her doing 95% of the child related stuff. The children only want mummy because she is the one that coddles them and deals with all their problems. I'm sure that will mellow as they get older but yeah, you can't have it both ways. You can't want the father to be a 50:50 partner but also to do everything the way you want.

I can't remember where I heard the term first but the word smother is very apt for these mums.
 
Hands up anyone who was happy for their kids to go back to school..... for my lad it was today, I guess others it was yesterday or monday.

I must admit we had to put our lad in holiday club more than i would have liked due to both me and his mum working full time and no family able to help out.... but even with that he was starting to struggle a bit, and i could see his attitude was deteriorating and he was answering back and being more of a gob..... than usual (perhaps also my fuse was a bit shorter than usual too!). He is 9 but was becoming a bit of a Kevin! (possibly need to be of a certain age to get that reference)
Apparently he came home from school today, really happy, he likes his new teachers and got to hang out with the friends that we were unable to organise play dates with over the summer.

as for the chat above... it is fair to say my parenting is very different to my wifes. On one hand i worry less than she does about health and safety stuff - i am not necessarily saying i am right, we had some scooter / bike issues where perhaps i was a little too laid back! :D
But on the other hand when i say no i do try to mean it and dont give up where as my wife will often cave in with whining (which creates issues for her which i tend not to get).

But over all i think it is natural for the mum to try to boss the dad around more than vice versa when it comes to parenting... and sometimes i do feel i cant do right for doing wrong if you catch my drift.... but again i do think this is normal.
 
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Junglist said:
I'm just saying you don't necessarily need a traditional baby monitor. If we had another I don't think we'd bother buying one of these expensive new ones. Ymmv, of course.
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I was gifted a nanit, and it was crap compared to the tap c110 that cost £20 from amazon. Best buy ever.
 
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I think the only expensive baby thing we bought was a BabyBrezza bottle maker. That was genuinely a life saver in the middle of the night
 
tom_e said:
We'll see how she gets on but I've got a feeling she'll have little problem running rings around the slightly older kids :o

Bro you old...let's just ignore the fact my step daughter will be finishing senior school at the end of this year.
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Pfffff…. Mine are 30 and 28. I also have grandnephews and a grandniece from my sister’s side of the tribe.
 
Junglist said:
I think the only expensive baby thing we bought was a BabyBrezza bottle maker. That was genuinely a life saver in the middle of the night
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Penfold101 said:
We bought the Perfect Prep machine - ended up breast feeding and it’s never been used once in 15 months :cry:
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These are significantly different price points. I think the Perfect Prep is good enough honestly. It would be nice not to have to measure out the feeds, but the BabyBrezza is bloody expensive. Their whole washing and sterilising thing looks incredible though, if you have a whole room to store it in.
 
It was honestly worth its weight in gold. We're still on the fence if we want to have another but whilst everything is up in the air we refuse to let it go so it's sat tucked away in a cupboard, just in case :cry:
 
robj20 said:
Isn't it funny how you get fined for taking a child out for a couple of weeks but when the council refuse to put your child in a school for going on 2 years that's okay. Poor George is missing out on so much.
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It's tragic just how poor our education system ends up being if a child has more needs than "dump in a classroom full of 30 other kids with 1 teacher from 9-3". Your lad has enough adversities without having to overcome even more because of those running the country...
 
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Bluebozzy said:
It's tragic just how poor our education system ends up being if a child has more needs than "dump in a classroom full of 30 other kids with 1 teacher from 9-3". Your lad has enough adversities without having to overcome even more because of those running the country...
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I know we shouldn't compare but a friend of a friend's child got a space and they are no where near as complicated, i think we just need to shout louder, George came close to losing an eye the other day as he gets taller and heavier his drop seizures are devastating, hes spent a week not being able to open one eye, both eyes completely red with blood 80% of his face swollen and black/purple, hes now 100% fed via an NG tube so staff need training on that. I just dont get how a child that just has ADHD trumps all of that. They seem happy to just have George sat at home on the sofa, like they see him as a lost cause to be honest.
 
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Does anyone have experience in dealing with 2 closely aged siblings, with the elder of the 2 bullying/teasing/being outright spiteful towards the younger?

The girls are 22 months apart, currently youngest being 11 mo.

The behaviour mainly involves stealing toys and teasing with them then throwing them away, alongside man-handling her poor little sister at every opportunity.

This used to include hitting when she first arrived, but that’s been remedied now.

Our youngest absolutely adores her big sister, and doesn’t understand the spiteful behaviour ofcourse.

I’m confident that if left in a room, our youngest wouldn’t last 10 minutes!

Any tips/tricks appreciated.
 
Our 8 month old girl has had diarrhoea for over a week now. We've taken her to the GP and to the hospital (going back to the GP tomorrow) and they've basically just told us she'll get over it and given her Dioraltye. But she's sharting very frequently (three times in the past hour, after several hours without doing a poo) and her poos are basically mush. It's getting very frustrating.

She's bottle-fed alongside food. I'm hoping my wife will agree to give her lactose free milk and see how that goes.

It sucks. Her bum is red raw in some places :(
 
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