**The Mental Health Thread**
- Thread starter Gabbatek
- Start date
Cheers yeah my relationship with alcohol is a long one , can't ever see myself giving up , I had a thread in 2008 called sunshine in a.bottle but can't link at the moment
Good luck for the future! I hope you manage to get over things quickly.
Important and probably hardest first step. The anxiety leading up to that stuff is super hard. Hopefully you can start to look forward and in time feel positive about it.
An overdue update to my situation, I can't believe it has been that long since I made this post. I ended up taking a step back from work in June to get my head through all of this. The behaviours that I faced persisted and worsened in a blackmail, controlling sense. I know that the first thought of a logical mind would be why not just block on all platforms and deny access, I never really wanted to do this as a precursor to her worst behaviour would be to tell me it was coming, taking away this safer forms of access helped me to avoid in person confrontation or appearances.
Anyway, long and short, I reported to work on different channels, to quite a high level. Ultimately she was removed from her post and sacked. I took action with the police in June, which is slow but edging slowly slowly forwards. Communication with the nefarious party has ceased on my part for a couple of months now, however that hasn't stopped them attempting any which way to get me to respond. I think my messages received since cessation on my part are up to a round 500 now. I don't read in real time, I just hide the chat and check every few days. Hoping that the police side does come to a conclusion with at least a stalking protection order soon, I do have a niggle in the back of my mind that she will do something outrageous and dangerous in the meantime but we have safeguard planning fixed up at home. Difficult to go through with two young children but it is what it is. Once that order is in place I guess life becomes normal again and this can be a thing of the past.
I do look back and think how on earth did this all happen, I look at my own actions and try to think of a point that I could have avoided all of this, but on reflection I think this was coming for me, as it would have come for anyone regardless of my actions. Anyway, back to work on Monday. It's been quite the ride this far, and I'm not entirely sure how I'm still standing, but here we are
Soldato
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- 2 Jul 2019
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- 2,710
07:30 in the morning, 3 day weekend, bored AF already. And now posting this 3hrs later.
A few times I've thought about throwing an update in here, but ultimately it felt a waste of time. The NHS has failed me good recently. Dentistry, orthopaedics, and mental health, all are forcing me to go private. No fillings, no alcohol, gave up nicotine, BMI spot on and am athletic, no crap food and try to diet well. Take no drugs for anything either, and cut caffeine near fully out. Ironically I think I feel worse for doing all of this sometimes despite the debilitating issues some of this gave me for almost 20yrs.
Been going to the Andyman's each Monday now. I am almost an odd one out there, and like the social clubs I've been joining it's just a temporary escape, it's not really of any help to feel positive or gain any joy from. I feel like my life is just about running or hiding away now, the last 10yrs has had some minor enjoyment but ultimately I'm feeling like it's been wasted. Phone call with the psychiatrist yesterday lasted an hour and half, whilst I bunked off work and hid in a field (a regular occurrence now), telling me that they don't offer the help I need but will try and get me stepped up to something more intense, as the first CBT session I did was complete and utter nonsense which she agreed with. It's ironic really that the person who is there to signpost and isn't following protocol and giving her own opinions has been the most helpful, and that's even compared to the autistic counsellor I paid for many months ago.
Last night was the first time I've slept all the way through in about 3 months. It's very telling and shows I'm back to drifting back off into a place with no drive.
I just don't know what to do really. I'm getting my knee fixed, going to college, trying with relationships, am going to try and video game and media stream again, but yet I feel like there's nothing left.
A few times I've thought about throwing an update in here, but ultimately it felt a waste of time. The NHS has failed me good recently. Dentistry, orthopaedics, and mental health, all are forcing me to go private. No fillings, no alcohol, gave up nicotine, BMI spot on and am athletic, no crap food and try to diet well. Take no drugs for anything either, and cut caffeine near fully out. Ironically I think I feel worse for doing all of this sometimes despite the debilitating issues some of this gave me for almost 20yrs.
Been going to the Andyman's each Monday now. I am almost an odd one out there, and like the social clubs I've been joining it's just a temporary escape, it's not really of any help to feel positive or gain any joy from. I feel like my life is just about running or hiding away now, the last 10yrs has had some minor enjoyment but ultimately I'm feeling like it's been wasted. Phone call with the psychiatrist yesterday lasted an hour and half, whilst I bunked off work and hid in a field (a regular occurrence now), telling me that they don't offer the help I need but will try and get me stepped up to something more intense, as the first CBT session I did was complete and utter nonsense which she agreed with. It's ironic really that the person who is there to signpost and isn't following protocol and giving her own opinions has been the most helpful, and that's even compared to the autistic counsellor I paid for many months ago.
Last night was the first time I've slept all the way through in about 3 months. It's very telling and shows I'm back to drifting back off into a place with no drive.
I just don't know what to do really. I'm getting my knee fixed, going to college, trying with relationships, am going to try and video game and media stream again, but yet I feel like there's nothing left.
Associate
- Joined
- 10 Apr 2021
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- 227
ha I'm the same as you Arbiter. It is hard as you get older. I do wonder if it's all a consequence of individualism. Supply stuff to buy and people will deliberate on what to buy and duck out of social opportunities. I suppose really I ought to get a pet.
Lack of drive is a nightmare, you can be 'doing the right stuff' but without purpose it can feel pointless. Is there anything you feel passionate about? Volunteering? Hell even helping little old ladies across the road!
What games are you going to play and potentially stream then?
What games are you going to play and potentially stream then?
I've read your message, if you need help then reach out to one of the services in the first post of this thread
**The Mental Health Thread**
Greetings All! Welcome to the Mental Health Thread :) I Think we need a dedicated thread to mental health where we can seek advice, support and just talk about whatever's on our minds regarding mental health. A lot of people suffer in silence and this forum has a lovely community which should...
forums.overclockers.co.uk
Alternatively you can post in here, and people will talk, but bear in mind we aren't around 24/7 so if you do need to chat urgently, use the services above.
Please stay safe
Samaritans - Call 116 123
NHS - Call 111 and then select Option 2
Where to get urgent help for mental health
You may need urgent help for mental health for many different reasons. Some people call it a crisis, an emergency or a breakdown. It's important to know that support is available, whatever you're going through.
www.nhs.uk
Shout - Text "SHOUT" to 85258
Shout: The UK's free, confidential, 24/7 mental health text service
Shout is the UK's first and only 24/7 text service for anyone struggling with their mental health. Text 'Shout' to 85258 for free, confidential support anytime, anywhere
giveusashout.org
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I've read your message, if you need help then reach out to one of the services in the first post of this thread
**The Mental Health Thread**
Greetings All! Welcome to the Mental Health Thread :) I Think we need a dedicated thread to mental health where we can seek advice, support and just talk about whatever's on our minds regarding mental health. A lot of people suffer in silence and this forum has a lovely community which should...
Alternatively you can post in here, and people will talk, but bear in mind we aren't around 24/7 so if you do need to chat urgently, use the services above.
Please stay safe
That's good to know, and I have taken that on board. I am completely safe. Thanks for responding to my message.
My ex-brother is trying to **** (self censored) over his whole remaining family by seeking to avoid repaying a debt to my late mother's estate and also getting his daughter a 2nd inheritance (she's already tapped up her grandmother before she died). This is causing no end of stress to me and rest of family. I'm needing legal advice to challenge him. I just want him to find a corner and go to it and die.
Sorry to hear that.
As as someone who's family have been torn to shreds over inheritance I feel for you.
Thanks, I really don't care that he is an ex-brother cos that's clearly his choice but NOBODY should **** over their own family for money.... That's as low as it gets in my book. But I think ultimately the law will be on my side so we can stop his scumminess....
Soldato
- Joined
- 28 Dec 2017
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- 10,148
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- Beds
I've currently got a situation where I was in someone's will but their family have conveniently forgotten to contact me. Don't know if it's worth confronting them, I'm not fixated on the money but it'd help right now and I don't like that my friend/former boss's will is being ignored. It's exactly what he said they'd do.
I'm an executor right now so have read up on legal responsibilities/liabilities. If they don't execute will as written they are PERSONALLY liable. I would write to Execs and remind them of your existence and ask for an update on when they expect to finalize it
I'm reminded of Steve Harley's "Come Up and See Me, Make Me Smile"... the lyric "for only metal, what a bore"... all about stiffing people over money
Soldato
- Joined
- 29 Aug 2006
- Posts
- 4,342
- Location
- In a world of my own - but it's ok, they know me.
She came over last night to pick up some post and sign a form for a council tax refund. She had the nerve to ask me for the cash from the refund to pay her council tax on her flat - as if the £2k a month I'm giving her already isn't enough!. I turned her down, then offered to split it as a gesture, but came over super anxious, she noticed and inferred I had too much coffee (or something else) but I shut her down and she left.
This was our family home for eight years, I wish she would come back, but whenever she is around my body goes straight into survival mode. Glad when she goes.
The kids are with me most of the time and her shift work is making it hard for her to get time with them but I'm making sure she gets as much as is possible - don't want to be accused of parental alienation down the line.
This is so tough. I want her back, but not this version of her. It sometimes feels like it would been easier if she had been hit by a bus but I would never wish that on our kids.
Those feelings will fade and eventually you will be able to process more easily and the anxiety will start to recede. It won’t be quick though. It takes time and getting through the process is the hardest part. Just realise the person you knew is gone. Grieve it but even if she changed her mind and came back you will never have what you did before. Would you ever trust her again? You know the answer to that.
From experience, once this has started. Don’t focus on what was. I lived it too long and wouldn’t move on. I hoped for too long to go back and it nearly killed me. Limit your contact if you have to. I only email and keep them short and to the point. I always get emails asking if I am ok. I ignore that and just answer questions about children. Stand up for yourself and set boundaries. This is no longer about both of you. It’s about you and the kids. She shouldn’t be part of your calculations on anything. You are more than kind with what you give her and honestly I wouldn’t as I would focus on the kids. You are protecting her from consequences of her own actions. You are paying for a home for her to see other people in.
I know the thoughts you are having. I’m nearly 2 years in and still feel them at times but mostly live in my own space now and know I have to focus on me and the kids. She made her choices. Whether influenced by others, mental health or hormones she made choices. It is not your job to protect her anymore. It is your job to protect the children and yourself.
From experience, once this has started. Don’t focus on what was. I lived it too long and wouldn’t move on. I hoped for too long to go back and it nearly killed me. Limit your contact if you have to. I only email and keep them short and to the point. I always get emails asking if I am ok. I ignore that and just answer questions about children. Stand up for yourself and set boundaries. This is no longer about both of you. It’s about you and the kids. She shouldn’t be part of your calculations on anything. You are more than kind with what you give her and honestly I wouldn’t as I would focus on the kids. You are protecting her from consequences of her own actions. You are paying for a home for her to see other people in.
I know the thoughts you are having. I’m nearly 2 years in and still feel them at times but mostly live in my own space now and know I have to focus on me and the kids. She made her choices. Whether influenced by others, mental health or hormones she made choices. It is not your job to protect her anymore. It is your job to protect the children and yourself.
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