**The Mental Health Thread**

It's that time of year again - so just leaving some resources here in case anyone needs them, or knows someone who might.

(Don't be afraid of using them that's what they are for - having recently had to reach out to someone, I should know)


Even just checking in on someone over the festive period, might just save their life.


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NHS Mental Health​
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Call: 111 (Then select option 2)

Available: 24/7

www.nhs.uk

Mental health services

Find out how to access NHS mental health services and where to get urgent help.
www.nhs.uk www.nhs.uk
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The Samaritans

Call: 116 123

Available: 24/7

www.samaritans.org

Samaritans - Here to listen

Samaritans works to make sure there’s always someone there for anyone who needs someone. Read more.
www.samaritans.org www.samaritans.org
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CALM

(Campaign Against Living Miserably)

Call: 0800 585858

Available: 5pm - Midnight

www.thecalmzone.net

Suicide Prevention Charity | Campaign Against Living Miserably

We’re the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM), a suicide prevention charity on a mission to help people end their misery, not their lives.
www.thecalmzone.net www.thecalmzone.net
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Give Us A Shout

Text: SHOUT to 85258

Available: 24/7

giveusashout.org

Shout: The UK's free, confidential, 24/7 mental health text service

Shout is the UK's first and only 24/7 text service for anyone struggling with their mental health. Text 'Shout' to 85258 for free, confidential support anytime, anywhere
giveusashout.org giveusashout.org
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Suicide Prevention UK Helpline

Call: 0800 587 0800

Available: 6pm - Midnight

spuk.org.uk

Suicide Prevention UK Help & Support | SPUK Charity 1187866

If you’re going through a tough time and need someone to listen, contact us free. We won't judge you or tell you what to do. You don't have to face this alone x
spuk.org.uk spuk.org.uk
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Mind UK Helpline

Call: 0300 102 1234

Available: 9am – 6pm Mon-Fri

We're Mind, the mental health charity

We're Mind, the mental health charity. We're here to make sure no one has to face a mental health problem alone.
www.mind.org.uk www.mind.org.uk
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Papyrus HOPELINEUK

Call: 0800 068 4141

Available: 24/7

Under 35’s Only

Papyrus UK Suicide Prevention | Prevention of Young Suicide

PAPYRUS UK is a charity for the prevention of young suicide (under 35) in the UK | Call PAPYRUS HOPELINE247 on 0800 068 4141 Now
www.papyrus-uk.org www.papyrus-uk.org
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SANEline

Call: 0300 304 7000

Available: 4pm – 10pm

www.sane.org.uk

SANEline services

SANEline is a national out-of-hours helpline offering emotional support, guidance and information to anyone affected by mental illness.
www.sane.org.uk
 
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I feel like resolutions add pressure and if you are unable to do <thing> anyway then adding that pressure just makes it harder.
If someone however uses it to take that first step then I think that's brilliant so happy not-quite-a-resolution resolution :D
 
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Despite a good end of 2025, with being alone over new year I am overthinking a lot of things and sinking back into paranoia based on absolutely nothing. Convincing myself that things are worse than they are and questioning everything or every tiny detail that is irrelevant to the current situation.

I wish I could switch my brain off. Need to head back to normal routine and out the holidays behind me.
 
I still exist although haven't been here in while. Things are going ok and I finally have a diagnosis from the NHS and shockingly enough although depression is a symptom it's not the actual problem. Shocker I know.

Treatment started a week ago (on Christmas day actually!) so need to wait and see how things go.

Struggling with elderly parents and their poor health now instead. Life, uh, finds a way. Or something.
 
I decided that I was gonna try some personal growth and it's a coincidence that it's new years. Think I've developed a degree of a chronic stress issue, and my body is giving me hints about it. That's just one side to it.

Developing a plan currently. Personally, I've lost some confidence because I tried multiple times, albeit a long time ago, and didn't make the changes I wanted. But I'm older and hopefully a bit smarter now.

For me NYs is a hype train which inevitably slows. Got to be ready and resilient for the dips and life curve balls. Don't put pressure on myself and be a stern but kind parent with myself. Personal growth is a marathon not a sprint.

​

Edit - Plan is basically to commit to counselling. Best thing I can do. Currently working in what to say to them and make some.clear goals of what to work on.
 
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ShadowMan said:
Despite a good end of 2025, with being alone over new year I am overthinking a lot of things and sinking back into paranoia based on absolutely nothing. Convincing myself that things are worse than they are and questioning everything or every tiny detail that is irrelevant to the current situation.

I wish I could switch my brain off. Need to head back to normal routine and out the holidays behind me.
Click to expand...

Sounds exactly like me. I just exercise my way to my bed every night, it really isn't sustainable.

Epburpee said:
Edit - Plan is basically to commit to counselling. Best thing I can do. Currently working in what to say to them and make some.clear goals of what to work on.
Click to expand...

Just a heads up on the counselling, not all of them are any good. You may need to shop around, so to speak. Also have a look into the different models/ styles they use. I currently have a weekly free one through college, it's not great. Though one I did pay for was alright, but gets pricey quick.
 
I made a post Facebook sticking the middle finger up to 2025 and praying for a better 2026. The responses I got from friends and family were hugely supportive and really cheered my heart. Everyone telling me that 2025 was the end that needed to happen, I've had multiple people telling me over the past few months that they've seen me wither as a person during my marriage to her and they are all looking forward to seeing my glow up in 2026. So many comments telling me what a good man/father I am and how proud people are to be my friend or related to me. My uncle in Ireland, who I'm in touch with but haven't seen for years posted this and it really boosted me. Hope 2026 is a better year for us all!

Moley, you are an incredible man. One of my many nephews, but one I’ve always watched with deep admiration and pride.
I truly believe that 2025 was simply a season of clearing the way, making space for you to rise and thrive in 2026. I have absolute faith in you. You and your children are going to be more than okay—not only because you deserve that future, but because your strength, character, and determination won’t allow it to be anything less.
You’ve got this, and you’re not walking the road alone.
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Turns out all my overthinking and paranoia wasn't. The new relationship I started end of last year fizzled out and I had picked up the right signs. Despite talking everyday and plenty of dates and meeting up every few days, she wanted to just be friends and said there wasn't a romantic connection. During our talks she gave the impression she was talking and seeing a few people so maybe I just didn't make the grade. Appreciated the honesty and said goodbye as I am not interested in being just friends when I felt a little more and was hoping it would develop. Helps my brain to know I was picking up signals and not just being paranoid but also a bit gutted that its done. Still better now than dragging it out.

Back into the void of dating in your 40's and figuring out how to meet people! Still more positive than I have been in ages despite the setback.

I am going to make an effort to attend my first AMC Monday 12th when I don't have my boy with me as a way to get out the house. I felt normal again for the end of 2025 and won't let isolation beat me this year as its too easy to just stay home and rot in front of the TV. Taking a more proactive effort to keep my head level and sane this year.

I need to find more ways to get out in a my week on my own and meet actual humans and get a social life!
 
Short story: Feeling pretty meh lately and today especially (it's my burfday)

Long story
finally sold my flat back in Feb but didn't find anywhere to move to yet so ended up moving back to my mums end of Aug. We don't have the best relationship and its not been great :( lots of arguments. We clash over a lot of things like the way she speaks to my niece (I realised it triggers me to how she used to be with me growing up) and how she thinks the sun shines out my brothers backside whilst I think he's a ****

I ended a 3 year relationship in Sept as I just wasn't happy. We'd never had that "honeymoon" period and I tried to be patient hoping maybe things would improve (he said i needed to be patient) but just felt like things were getting worse and it was starting to really wear me down and make me feel so miserable. He refused to do couples therapy to learn how to communicate with each other as i felt i couldn't raise anything with him without him immediately getting defensive. It was also having a physical impact on me from the stress so I decided to put myself first.
I had actually tried to end it a couple of times before but he'd always say the right thing to pull me back in.

I had planned to move somewhere further away from my mum/work place, roughly couple of hours drive. I WFH and my boss told me 2 years ago that he was fine with me relocating away because he "wouldn't want to lose me because of location and it being in the way of my happiness"
at the time I did think maybe down the line after moving away that bf would eventually move in. Obviously now we've split I'm starting to think I don't want to be too far.

I'm trying to now be closer to my sister who's roughly an hour 20 mins away. Trouble is nothing is really in budget right now. I also keep having doubts as to where I want to move to even though I've checked the areas out and was happy with them. I'm also having those moments of do I get that distance from family/stressors or would I end up regretting it because I've isolated myself too much? Do I take on a house that's a bit of project? Can I do it on my own or am I just kidding myself?

So many thoughts are swirling around all while I'm also feeling so down about things in general. I know we can't plan things but this isn't where I thought I'd be in life at this age :(

Do I need to just accept the fact I might never be a mum? Am I kidding myself thinking about adoption?

Work is also stressful right now and im struggling to get back to a healthy sleeping pattern.
Just to add to my mood I have a neuroma in my foot which I'm having treatment for. It flared up a little over the weekend whilst I was doing DIY in my mums house but this morning it's especially painful
 
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Happy Birthday :)

That all sounds.... like absolute ****, I'm sorry you're going through it right now.

I'm going to write down some brain farts now, this isn't advice, I'm sure you've probably been over this a million times in your head already:

I get the distance thing, do you have hobbies etc that would bring you into contact with other, non-family people?
SHOULD you stay near family if they seem to be the cause of at least some of the issues? Anyone you wouldn't want to lose?
Kids/adoption, that's a fun one. I'm ok if I'm not happy as it affects no one else, but I struggle to see a kid helping at least with what you've said above. Can you be ok with that? Rushing into something because of the feeling of missing out seems... unwise?

Are you seeking any help with things? GP/any work private healthcare etc you can tap into that could maybe support you right now?
 
Rob_B said:
Happy Birthday :)

That all sounds.... like absolute ****, I'm sorry you're going through it right now.

I'm going to write down some brain farts now, this isn't advice, I'm sure you've probably been over this a million times in your head already:

I get the distance thing, do you have hobbies etc that would bring you into contact with other, non-family people?
SHOULD you stay near family if they seem to be the cause of at least some of the issues? Anyone you wouldn't want to lose?
Kids/adoption, that's a fun one. I'm ok if I'm not happy as it affects no one else, but I struggle to see a kid helping at least with what you've said above. Can you be ok with that? Rushing into something because of the feeling of missing out seems... unwise?

Are you seeking any help with things? GP/any work private healthcare etc you can tap into that could maybe support you right now?
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Thanks :)

My hobbies tend to be indoor solo things really, like crafts etc. I do enjoy walks but with foot pain it's difficult.
My mum is the main stressor really. I get on okay with my sisters but they live in opposite directions of where I am currently, which is why I picked one to try to move near as I think I'd get on better with her.
Adoption is something I was considering when I moved into my flat 7 years ago. I just didnt get that far because my uncle died, then covid hit and then i got with my ex.
I'm 41 now so it's definitely not something I'm rushing into or doing for fear of missing out. :)
I've wanted to be a mum for a long time, it's just never happened the "normal" way. Part of the reason I'm feeling down is because I feel like I'm stuck currently and can't move forward.

The adoption process can take a good couple of years (my mums neighbour's daughter has only just adopted and for them it took 3 years)
Obviously i can't begin the adoption process until I've moved. Hence feeling stuck.

I had tried NHS talking therapies back last year but because they felt the main issue was my relationship they told me they couldn't help me as they don't support that kind of thing on NHS. It took so long just to get that answer last year that I haven't bothered to try again now I'm single.
It's a catch 22 really as I know i would benefit from some counselling sessions again but it's not cheap and I'm trying to save every penny to be able to move out of my mum's ASAP.
 
Happy birthday!
Sorry to hear that you feel stuck and generally meh about things tho. The waits with talking therapies can be a real pain, and especially when its just to be told 'no'.
If you do decide to try them again though, at least it doesnt cost anything and you can tell them that the relationship isn't part of the equation anymore.
Thats such a bummer they messed about thou last time!
There are sometimes low cost counseling options too that TT can signpost people to after the initial assessment
(where I am they are very hit or miss but might be worth a shot if cost is an issue).
There are groups called Hackspaces and there's one called 'Craft Space' too I think?
Here's the HS website :

Hackspace Foundation

www.hackspace.org.uk www.hackspace.org.uk
Hope things can get a bit better soon!
 
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Happy Birthday!

As Rob_B said, brain dump below but not advice you haven't probably heard.

Family stressors are more common than you think and don't ever feel bad for having it. We all get them and some are just more major than others. Don't let that or any relationship define who you are at any age. Your circumstances are what they are not being where you thought you would be is fairly normal. I doubt many on here could say they are where they thought they would be. Have you got any close friends nearby? Is moving away going to impact other parts of your life negatively or looking for the fresh start?

If being a mum is important to you then adoption can be a great way to do it. I did it with my ex-wife at 34 despite already having our own child and it was hugely rewarding. Our process took about 18 months to complete but we were placed within 12 and did a foster-to-adopt programme. During our courses we met a lot of people from different backgrounds including a single woman who was adopting all on her own. She was successful and by all accounts is having a great time with her now son. We kind of lost touch in Covid. If its important to you then you have time and there is no need to feel stuck at all. It may not be quick but it can happen. Whilst I am way out of the loop since I completed mine in 2018, feel free to ask any questions. I still have all my notes and paperwork here with me. Now I am on my own I only see my adopted son every other week but its like he has been with me from day 1 and I have never regretted doing it.

For private counselling, have a research for concession and affordable services. Its not free but its not full rate private and there are options out there that are more affordable depending on your area. I'll link one below but its not a recommendation or suggestion as never used them and found them on google.

affordablecounsellingnetwork.co.uk

Home

Book a 30-min Assessment (by video) to get started; Low-Cost Affordable Counselling; Weekly Online Sessions with your Personal Therapist;
affordablecounsellingnetwork.co.uk affordablecounsellingnetwork.co.uk

All in you are probably doing better than you think and the fact you are facing into things can only be a positive!
 
I have Barrett's oesophagus and diverticulitis. It's just a matter of time before I check out. A painful death.

When I get throat cancer or need a bag, I might go ahead and cull myself.
 
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I'm sorry to hear that. I know people with both and glad to say they've not chosen that route, but I know they're both things that can change and need work so I'm not going to give you a stock "don't think like that" response. I hope you're getting the help & support you need.
 
Struggling today (drama at both work and home)

No matter what I've done to make me a better version of myself, it all seems to be for nothing.

Just feeling like I'm circling around the drain, waiting to be washed away.
 
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