Uh-oh a girl thread...

Trust your instincts, does she give off a vibe when you spend time together? Most of the time 'instincts' are reinforced by countless subconscious signals you're not even aware of.

That aside, go for it, even if she doesn't feel the same way the chances of her completely freaking out and ending your friendship are still pretty remote.
 
The longer you leave it, the bigger your 'just a friend' hat becomes. Its not like you work together and it gets awkward after, worst comes to the worst and she doesnt click 'like' on you faecesbook status, oh no end of the world yada yada. To be honest your self esteem appears to be the biggest thing holding you back (the line about deserving someone better than you), if you can get past that notion (she clearly likes the same things as you down to a tee i.e. perfect match) then you are good to go.
 
You're probably in the dreaded Friend Zone by now.

When you spend a lot of time with a girl and never do anything more than act friendly you're basically condemning yourself to be seen by her as just that, a friend. Women tend to live through their emotions a lot more than men, and if you're not creating any kind of attraction or arousal in them then you're going to be looked at in a completely platonic way. There is simply no way you can logically convince a girl to be feel attraction for you, regardless of how you feel. Risking chasing her away by telling her is infinitely preferable than doing nothing and beating yourself up about it, and it's not fair on her if she just sees you as a mate and you harbour feelings that will probably bubble up in some sort of embarrassing outburst down the line. If she doesn't see you that way then what are you ruining by telling her? Your fairytale future together? That kind of speculation and expectation isn't conductive to happiness.

It's allllways better to communicate your interest early on so you're not wasting each others time and she knows you find her attractive and you avoid the classic 'friend who wants more' scenario, which is depressingly common. The window of opportunity exists, and it's never open for long.

Anyway, rather than delivering some sort of 'I really like you!' speech, take her out again, be flirty, initiate light physical contact, see how she reacts, and if it's going well tell her you want to play Dr. and Patient, it's time for her medicine so she should close her eyes, then kiss her.

Also never utter the 'deserves better' thing, self-belief goes a LONG way.
 
Somnambulist said:
You're probably in the dreaded Friend Zone by now.

When you spend a lot of time with a girl and never do anything more than act friendly you're basically condemning yourself to be seen by her as just that, a friend. Women tend to live through their emotions a lot more than men, and if you're not creating any kind of attraction or arousal in them then you're going to be looked at in a completely platonic way. There is simply no way you can logically convince a girl to be feel attraction for you, regardless of how you feel. Risking chasing her away by telling her is infinitely preferable than doing nothing and beating yourself up about it, and it's not fair on her if she just sees you as a mate and you harbour feelings that will probably bubble up in some sort of embarrassing outburst down the line. If she doesn't see you that way then what are you ruining by telling her? Your fairytale future together? That kind of speculation and expectation isn't conductive to happiness.

It's allllways better to communicate your interest early on so you're not wasting each others time and she knows you find her attractive and you avoid the classic 'friend who wants more' scenario, which is depressingly common. The window of opportunity exists, and it's never open for long.

Anyway, rather than delivering some sort of 'I really like you!' speech, take her out again, be flirty, initiate light physical contact, see how she reacts, and if it's going well tell her you want to play Dr. and Patient, it's time for her medicine so she should close her eyes, then kiss her.

Also never utter the 'deserves better' thing, self-belief goes a LONG way.
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Nail on the head.
 
Drossla said:
She just messaged me again on FB asking if I wanted to meet up :S
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Seriously, meet up with her.

Also it doesn't matter if your in the 'Dreaded friend zone'. You can still spin it around. (Just don't go all stalkerish.)
 
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I haven't used that one myself (credit goes to Juggler) but I'll try it sometime, it's only slightly less obvious than talking about kissing, asking her how she rates herself out of 10 then finding out. In any case at that point they'll want to be kissed and are just waiting for you to engineer a way to make it happen.

Anyway, you're missing the point. You create attraction and interest through your interaction with each other, which builds up and then you physically act on that attraction. You don't need to explain feelings when you're demonstrating them. It's only the fairy tale world of TV and film in which men can be meek and then declare their love in a passionate speech which induces a sudden change of feelings in the girl. I swear it's guys acting out the fantasy of what they wish had happened to them that write that stuff. :/

Anyway, acting like a friend then delivering your soliloquy has far less chance of working then if you'd just spent an evening teasing, flirting and eye-gazing and made a move. That's how it goes down 99% of the time and it's wayyyy more fun and easy because it's the total opposite of hanging out and spending your time worrying when the perfect moment will arrive for you to say something (which you'll no doubt have been planning ad verbatim) and then the analysis of it all paralysing you. This stuff is supposed to be fun, not a an exercise in torture.
 
Worth a try! Why not?

We... if we women are confused by a man, and decide for some reason that he's not into us, or that it's not worth our time to be into him - it sometimes leads to a simple switch-off, after which you're too late.

I was always the chaser and was frustrated many-a-time. But sometimes you have to fail a few times until one goes right. If this one doesn't go right: consider it practice. If it does: lucky you get in there!

Seriously, if she reacts badly - she's 20 mins away by car, and you've lost someone you see every 3 months - only 4 times a year. The fallout will be upsetting for a bit, but won't ruin you.

You can't get lucky if you don't try. And you won't get lucky if you just give up.
 
Don't let this go mate. Get in there quick!
I am no expert when it comes to women and pretty much always fail and it's usually because I do this ( I have no confidence which don't help.)
Act now or you will regret it just like I do. Listen to the others!


All the best and let us know how it goes. What's the worst that can happen?
 
Morba said:
So get on with it.
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Stop stressing about 'does she like me?' 'will it ruin our friendship?', ask her and find out.

Some clear signals there so you wouldn't be mistaken thinking there is some chemistry.

It's not like you got stuck next to each other at a house party and she had no option but to talk to you or ignore you one time.
 
She sent you a message asking you to meet up with her? Surely that's some sort of indication?
 
How did people manage to form relationships before the internet? Did Mankind almost die out before internet message boards appeared to help man find woman?
 
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