What's your most embarrasing moment - ever!

What is your most embarrassing moment?

I think I had mine this morning..

Here goes..


This morning I got the bus to Chelmsford station. It’s not often I go by bus because it’s actually faster and cheaper to cycle. That to and the fact I don’t have to wait around for tem million years for one to arrive (my wife says I do exaggerate ).

Anyway, I noticed that the driver was new and was being shown the route by a bus master. En-route, the bus diverts off its normal course and proceeded into a big housing area. Not the normal route I asked myself.

Looking quite stunned and looking at my watch, I noticed a few other heads turning. It’s actually not uncommon for these busses to take the wrong turning. I felt I had to say something so I went the front and said to the bus master:

“hmm excuse me I think you’ve gone the wrong way”?

“no I ain’t”, he said.

“I think you find you are”, I said back quite adamant tone.

“I ******* haven’t, ok!!”, shock reply from the bus master.

So I addressed the passengers and said “he has, hasn’t he”?

Silence!! More silence and then deadly silence”

“Hasn’t he”, as my voice dropped”.

Everyone looked at me in shock and reluctantly nodded their heads in a horizontal axis.

“Since when?”, I asked.

“Since like two weeks ago you ****” the bus master answered.

At this point my tail was well between my legs and everyone just starred at me. The next 10 minutes was hell as I didn’t know how I was going to get off the bus without going a brighter shade of red!!

LMFAO Nightmare, total nightmare

ha ha ha! I would have just got off the bus there and then.

Not THE most embarrasing moment, was good for a laugh tho...

The FD at work got a new bluetooth headset the other day and was trying to find it on his phone. He came out moaning saying, "I cant find the headset! All Ive managed to pick up is a SexyBetty!"

I exchanged a glance with Laura who sits next to me, cos she knows thats my bluetooth name, and everyone in the office burst out laughing. Wasnt that funny to me, but it certainly cheered up the FD

Noob

About 8 years ago, I was out on the pop when a call of nature became urgent and I sneaked off to find a sneaky pee spot. I found a perfect out of sight place and
zip-lob-gush ! At least I thought it was out of the way until a police van pulls up and a gruff officer tells me to zip up and **** off in no uncertain terms. Trouble was, I couldn't snap off the tidal wave in a hurry so I casually remarked. ' Officer, when you've gotta go you've gotta go. ' with a cheeky smile.

He didn't laugh and warned me again to zip up and do one. I had to break the flow and move on after telling me I was captured on CCTV ..... the only reason I wasn't arrested he said, was that I made at least an effort to be discreet.

Is that why I pay my taxes ? Nazis, go catch real criminals etc etc blah.

hope you didn't turn round mid-stream when you got that tap on the shoulder ?

Probably going to the toilet halfway through a film at a cinema, coming back and sitting on the wrong row, much to the hilarity of my mates and other people.

Oh how I laughed...

hey, it was a Chelmsford bus, just be thankful it turned up! Try catching a 48 from the station after work!

When you've gotta go.....

Mr Huddy said:

hope you didn't turn round mid-stream when you got that tap on the shoulder ?

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LOL !

A shame reaaly as I recall the van being dirty !

Oh, and when I started out in the land of the working aged 17 as a junior industrial chemist, I went to college on a day release. This was back in September 1992.

Anyway, there was a fit lass in the class and I thought she wa rather bon soir, even before the phrase was invented ..... I think the in-phrase then was ' She'd get it '. Sorry girls, blame youth.

So, I got talking to her and thought I could have backed the winner here as we chatted in the queue in the dining hall. As things progressed, I adopted a true Hugh Heffner pron stance and placed my hand on a surface trying for the perfect 80' angle.

The surface turned out to be the ******* hotplate and I yelped like a scalded dog, causing much merriment.

I never did get her number ! Bloody hotplates .... grumble grumble.

I'm pretty sure I've posted this before, but what the hell, have it again

I'd stopped at a hoooooge motorway services with the rugrats to use the loos. We used the disabled/baby changing jobbie, which was directly of the main corridor in the services, so you open the door, theres the loo type thing. All the rugrats do their thing, I decide I may as well do too. So I'm settled in the loo, jeans round my knees when smallest rugrat pulls the emergency cord.

Sirens are blaring, lights are flashing and I can hear several people galloping along the corridor outside. I'm sat screaming "I'M FINE, EVERYTHING IS FINE!" but the scurity and his assistant have the door unlocked and open in about 2 seconds flat, much to the enjoyment of the millions of people wandering about outside. He tells me the button to stop the alarm is above the door. So, and this is where I think I had an instant lobotomy, I stand up, and instead of hoiking my jeans up, I penguin shuffle across the room to the wide open door and hit the button.

Thank god for long jumpers.

I hope never to top that for sheer excrutiating embarrassment.




Ohhh ohohoh, another one....in the antenatal unit, visiting hour so lots of early stage pregnant ladies in for monitoring with their OH's and kids etc. I tell the midwives the baby is coming. They dont believe me. 10 minutes later the baby is born, Im protected for the general masses by a CURTAIN and get a round of applause when we emerge to be taken up to the labour ward clutching said baby. That was pretty embarrasing too.

When my ex's little brother walked in on us on the job, as my ex heard him coming to the room she kicked me off her and hid under the covers, unfortunatlly for me he saw me stood there standing to attention so to speak in nothing but my birthday suit

KaHn

I took my (now g/f of over 3 years) back to my parents house for some magic drunken fondling so to speak.

We were half undressed and up to no good, when my mother walked in, and put the light on asking "What's going on?! I heard a noise"

My misses covered herself up under the duvet, but it was obvious she was there. (Single bed).

My mother looked at me with daggers and walked out. They never did get off on the right foot!!!

Lesson learnt, do it downstairs.

removed

ROFL Manor....cringingly funny!

I **** my pants when I was 4 in the school bus

manor said:

"Yeah, he woke me up by slapping his manhood in my face"

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PWNAGE!!!!!!111
PWNAGE!!!!!!111
PWNAGE!!!!!!111

pyro said:

I **** my pants when I was 4 in the school bus

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ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL !

* gasp gasp *

ROFL ROFL !!!!!

pyro said:

I **** my pants when I was 4 in the school bus

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*cries laughing*

You win!!!!!!!!!!!