I just don't understand it. I'm not religious at all, the whole experience seems absolutely horrific and pointless. I don't need some sort of ridiculously excessive ceremony to confirm my feelings for my partner, nor can I justify the expense of a full works occasion which unfortunately is something she wants, despite me saying right from the get go there is no way on earth I will agree to it.
So why do they do it then? Symbolic gesture of their unending love for their partner or some other nonsense, or because their partner has henpecked them into it? The sort of marriage my partner wants, unfortunately, is exactly as Arknor has said, the whole disney princess full works hideousness (her dream wedding would be at Disney World).
She also knows it's never, ever, going to happen with me.
I've been googling prenups and from what I've read the court can divert from a prenup so it would seem there is no guarantee I'd be protected with one. I told her today I was looking at pre-nuptial agreements and she said she'd sign anything to say that she wouldn't get anything if we split up. I don't think she is after my money at all but I don't want to put myself in a position where I could get screwed.
So why do they do it then? Symbolic gesture of their unending love for their partner or some other nonsense, or because their partner has henpecked them into it? The sort of marriage my partner wants, unfortunately, is exactly as Arknor has said, the whole disney princess full works hideousness (her dream wedding would be at Disney World).
She also knows it's never, ever, going to happen with me.
Sounds like a selfish relationship
See I knew someone was going to pipe up and say that. Why is it selfish? I have very very strong feelings on this, and see no benefit in a marriage at all. She wants to get married. Where is the middle ground? Get engaged as a half way measure, as others have already said that's a very bad idea. I've been up front from the start of the relationship, we've been together over 5 years, and she has accepted it.
We own a house and live together, we have a joint account and pool all our money together for whatever we want and I see no real difference in our relationship and that of a married couple. What benefit will we see from spending thousands of pounds and spending god knows how many hours arranging a wedding?
I can't think of any possible reason to end a relationship over this.
See I knew someone was going to pipe up and say that. Why is it selfish? I have very very strong feelings on this, and see no benefit in a marriage at all. She wants to get married. Where is the middle ground? Get engaged as a half way measure, as others have already said that's a very bad idea. I've been up front from the start of the relationship, we've been together over 5 years, and she has accepted it.
We own a house and live together, we have a joint account and pool all our money together for whatever we want and I see no real difference in our relationship and that of a married couple. What benefit will we see from spending thousands of pounds and spending god knows how many hours arranging a wedding?
See I knew someone was going to pipe up and say that. Why is it selfish? I have very very strong feelings on this, and see no benefit in a marriage at all. She wants to get married. Where is the middle ground? Get engaged as a half way measure, as others have already said that's a very bad idea. I've been up front from the start of the relationship, we've been together over 5 years, and she has accepted it.
We own a house and live together, we have a joint account and pool all our money together for whatever we want and I see no real difference in our relationship and that of a married couple. What benefit will we see from spending thousands of pounds and spending god knows how many hours arranging a wedding?
This thread makes me sad. I think it comes down to the fact that relationships are built on trust. You for historical reasons find it hard to trust her when it comes to finances and that is causing stress in your relationship.
Fix the root problem, the trust, or call it a day.
, instead of trying to find a middle ground.