Good question.
I don't really know the answer. All I know is that when I really want something, I can give numerous reasons as to why. I'd hate to commit the effort and money into getting married without having credible reasons.
I think the crux of this arguement could be transfered to all other traditions. Traditions aren't required, they're a nice thing to uphold and should be treated as that. Therefore in the case of marriage, I'd say marriage is irrational just as most traditions are, but wanting to get married isn't, as it's an enjoyable event.
I think in modern society, it's pretty bad that such a needless institute can cause issues. The default choice should be to not get married. Only get married if you both want to and not the other way around as it actually is.
Agreed, but then (and I am not being sexist here), our little girls are bought up and often groomed for marriage and children from a young age. How many little girls do you know who have asked Santa for a life-like baby doll? The Cindarella fairytale is thrust upon girls from an early age and many want marriage before they even know what it is. But even when they learn what it is, the desire does not diminish and stays with a person.
Many women want to be a princess for a day. That is not to say they are shallow or are any less devoted or loyal to their partner. It is just something they have dreamed about since they were a child.
Men, on the other hand, are more layed back. I was not really bothered about marriage, until I spent some time thinking about it and realised it was actually something I wanted. I cannot explain why, I just feel happy I am married. Our relationship didnt need justifying, and bar a change of name our lives have not changed. Yet we have both agreed we are happier somehow. Like our relationship is now somehow better. Silly isnt it? But I am glad I did it, and have no regrets.
Unfortunately, people are apt to be disingenuous about their feelings on certain subjects because they hold on to hope. As described in other posts, it can cause issues. Men and women are both guilty of doing this. I suppose the silver lining is that some people do change their mind. But many wont, and that is a shame. Not because they wont, but because they have entered a relationship where one or both parties has not been totally honest and people end up getting hurt.
I say the default position should be absolute honesty. If people were totally honest with each other, relationship problems pertaining to marriage and kids would never happen.