A little advice needed...

Obviously the support you're giving him isn't working. Don't give all supporting him all together as he is your mate but you need to take a different approach. It sounds like the kid has real issues so if you can talk to a professional about it then go for it.
 
I would call his bluff and say ,"well if you're not happy with life then......."

One of my mates was always threating to kill himself and once on holiday whilst he stood next to a cliff we just said "for God sake Neil just jump",
he did jump and died but thats not the point !

He sounds like a right loser to me ,not your responsibility ,forget him !

Oh my mate did not really jump he is married now :D
 
Is abit idiotic for OCUK posters to say he is a lost cause, we don't even know him. Besides you say this hasn't been going on like this for years, this has been quite a recent thing.

How old is he? Does he strike you as being attention seeking? Where does he live, at home with family? What is his family like? Any sister/s or brother/s of his that you could talk to about his behaviour?

When anyone says they wanna kill themself it needs to be taken seriously.. thing is if they wanna do it, they will no matter what people say. Not saying he will, but that kinda is the way it is. Feel abit bad for you as it seems you are the one that is being dumped with this worry. Have you spoken to him about talking to others? Are you the only one that knows how he feels? Do any of your other mates know? They could perhaps help.

Have you seen him since he said he has been cutting himself? Have you seen any cut marks on him?
 
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In this kind of situation, all you can really do is be there as a friend for him, if it makes things worse him coming to you when with her, then that'll only make a volatile situaton worse, just don't stop caring and don't give up on him, sounds like he just needs all the friends he can get right now, its really admirable what you have done with him, but on the other hand its part and parcel of being a friend.

Maybe try and meet up with him sometime, talk to him in person about him maybe going to see someone to get some help? Its obvious that, even though you feel out of your depth with this, you're doing all you can to help and be there for the guy,
thats really all you can do for now, he needs to talk to someone who is trained to help and aid people in his situation.

Kudos to you for being there for the guy mate.
 
I can not believe the type of **** we have living in these forums at times. Granted this is GD but even so, I'd hate to have some of you as my enemies, let alone my friends.

He needs to seek professional help. And:

TimBrad said:
In this kind of situation, all you can really do is be there as a friend for him, if it makes things worse him coming to you when with her, then that'll only make a volatile situaton worse, just don't stop caring and don't give up on him, sounds like he just needs all the friends he can get right now, its really admirable what you have done with him, but on the other hand its part and parcel of being a friend.

Maybe try and meet up with him sometime, talk to him in person about him maybe going to see someone to get some help? Its obvious that, even though you feel out of your depth with this, you're doing all you can to help and be there for the guy,
thats really all you can do for now, he needs to talk to someone who is trained to help and aid people in his situation.

Kudos to you for being there for the guy mate.
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Help him understand that there are professionals who can help him through this and although you are keen to be of help, you don't have the skills or knowledge. As bad as he feels others have been there and there are tools and professions that can help him cope and get his life back on track. Get him to his GP to get the ball rolling, get him in touch with the samaritans for the late night support calls etc. May be relate to work through his relationships.

You can not expect someone who is depressed and not in control of their life to behave like a rational human being so dumping them for the sake of convenience is horrible advice that could wind up with having unnecessary guilt if the guy did something stupid. Don't listen to the usual GD kiddies who haven't learnt empathy yet because they are too young, self-centred and sheltered to care about anyone but themselves. At some point in their lives the people making these crass comments will probably have someone they know, even at arms length, kill themselves - they will probably modify their childlike opinions then. Or should we just nuke this dude from orbit :confused:
 
awesome ocuk advice at its finest........

Q. My friend is in dispair, may kill himself, how can I help ?

OCUK A. "tell him to **** off!!!1111"


:rolleyes: there's no wonder on a whole, as a country we are lost.
 
sarutobi said:
Zefan - seriously man what the hell? If its not your friends job to make you feel better then whos is it?

There are times in a mans life when he'll feel lower than low. He'll feel unwanted, alone and miserable. This is the time for his mates to step in and make sure he stays on track. Its not easy to guide yourself if you dont want to.

Your friends are there for support. Not just to leave you alone cause you seem like a whiney *****.
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It's not just a "Bad time" though, the OP clearly states that it's been like this for ages no matter what happens and what advice he's given... textbook attention seeking.

:edit: Put it this way, M0T, has be ever been happy for more than a month? If not, then he's creating drama because he likes it or he needs professional help which you cannot give.
 
Zefan said:
It's not just a "Bad time" though, the OP clearly states that it's been like this for ages no matter what happens and what advice he's given... textbook attention seeking.

:edit: Put it this way, M0T, has be ever been happy for more than a month? If not, then he's creating drama because he likes it or he needs professional help which you cannot give.
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Wow.

You've absolutely no way of knowing thats true, you're giving truly terrible advice. Even if there's only a 1 in 10 chance he'd actually go and kill himself thats plenty reason not to tell him to '**** off and sort his life out'

I mean seriously....
 
Zefan said:
It's not just a "Bad time" though, the OP clearly states that it's been like this for ages no matter what happens and what advice he's given... textbook attention seeking.

:edit: Put it this way, M0T, has be ever been happy for more than a month? If not, then he's creating drama because he likes it or he needs professional help which you cannot give.
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If he needs professional help then maybe a friend is what he needs to be able to get help?

Seriously dude, I'm glad I have proper friends.

Take him to his GP and see what services they can offer.

Burnsy
 
If someone's been like this for 3 years and they do nothing but throw their problems/make me responsible for their well being then I let them know that it's not fair.

I am a proper friend... I'm just not up for sharing problems to the extent that it's putting a strain on my life.
 
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