Adoption prioritised based on race/culture - is this not a bit outdated?

[krooton]

Just to put perspective on my comments my sister and her wife have been trying to adopt for many years now and their are so many reasons you can be refused.....

It's funny a man and woman can bring a child into a world of slums and unemployment but to adopt every little detail is scrutinized, rightly so too.

I'm actually for needing a licence to have children (and pets tbh), it's the only bit of facist I have.

Far too many ****s in this world exercising what should be a privilege as a right, whilst not meeting the bare minimum requirements of being a decent parent.

 

[Desmo]

Sorry, I mean I guess you've got a lot more experience in this area than me, but I don't quite understand why this is such a sensitive area? What are the issues in this case that you're trying to mitigate, if we're talking about a baby or toddler?

I can maybe understand a drastically different culture - I'm going to be rather crude here but if you'll excuse the slightly un-PC description the guy isn't exactly wearing a turban, has a middle class English accent, is a pretty light skinned British Indian and declares that they consider themselves to be British. I mean I see them as a fairly typical British middle class suburban couple! If they agreed to not raise the baby in any religion would that change things in your option or is the skin colour mismatch between them and the potential baby really a big issue?

@BigDannyO has probably said it far better than I ever will, but these kids have been through so much already, anything....ANYTHING you can do to make their life a little more normal is a priority.
Of course, if there was a shortage of suitable adopters of the same race/colour/religion/etc. then I'm sure the parameters would be widened but if there's not then white families are going to take priority.

This isn't a racist issue...in our area they have been having campaigns to bring black adopters in to the system because there is a shortage. They would prefer children of that ethnicity to be with parents with the same ethnicity.
It's ALL about the children...the adopters are, in effect, a commodity.

 

[MooMoo444]

Is it not awkward for the child to be placed in a different colour family? The 'you were adopted' chat needs to happen at the right time, if ever. Having the kid work it out on their own because both parents are white and they are black would be unfortunate.

 

[CREATIVE!11]

Is it not awkward for the child to be placed in a different colour family? The 'you were adopted' chat needs to happen at the right time, if ever. Having the kid work it out on their own because both parents are white and they are black would be unfortunate.

That's precisely it.

They aim to match kids as closely as they can with the foster parents racially/culturally in order to minimize the strain on the child.

 

[Desmo]

The 'you were adopted' chat needs to happen at the right time, if ever.

"The chat" is pretty much a given these days. Whilst nobody can force you to do it, it's hugely encouraged throughout the whole process and you start early and keep it age appropriate. We have a "Life Story Book" that is very child friendly and talks through, in quite good detail for a child, their story of their birth family and how they became to be adopted.

 

[asim18]

Yeah, I was confused by this article too. They seem to be perfectly loving and capable potential parents. What's the bloody problem?!

Personally, I believe the most important factor is the child's thoughts. Doesn't matter if the parent's are great people they are adults and they know what's going on. The child on the other hand is being lied to for a rather considerable amount of time.

Parent's are adults and they are fully aware that the child isn't their child, but a very young completely white child with 2 completely black parents is going to wonder what's going on.

Also there comes a stage where kids tease other kids for being "adopted". Most kids know they're not adopted because most kids are in fact not adopted, but imagine being the only white kid with 2 black parents, and then hearing some teasing in the classroom relating to being adopted. I reckon it would be torturous to the child's mentality.

 

[Dis86]

Personally, I believe the most important factor is the child's thoughts. Doesn't matter if the parent's are great people they are adults.

Parent's are adults and they are fully aware that the child isn't their child, but a very young completely white child with 2 completely black parents is going to wonder what's going on.

Also there comes a stage where kids tease other kids for being "adopted". Most kids know they're not adopted because most kids are in fact not adopted, but imagine being the only white kid with 2 black parents, and then hearing some teasing in the classroom relating to being adopted. I reckon it would be torturous to the child's mentality.

That is a fair counter argument. As per my example though I honestly think it's less likely that the kid would be teased by other kids and it's more likely to be adults who are the problem. Kids are curious and will probably ask so the kid in question will know from a very early age what to expect.
Putting up with that crap is surely better than spending x amount of years in the care system.

 

[Desmo]

Why would they end up a number of years in the care system? There are lots of suitable adoptees waiting for children. It's not the Sikh family being rejected or nothing is it.

 

[Dis86]

Why would they end up a number of years in the care system? There are lots of suitable adoptees waiting for children. It's not the Sikh family being rejected or nothing is it.

There are more kids in the care system than there are adoptive parents.

 

[h4rm0ny]

There are more kids in the care system than there are adoptive parents.

Which brings us back to the point made earlier which is that regardless of if there is some statistical bump in children being better off with "their own kind" which I'm not accepting until I've seen the studies for myself, the question remains as to whether such a statistical bump outweighs other positives about parents or, as we're realistically talking, outweighs having parents at all.

 

[stewski]

I'm actually for needing a licence to have children (and pets tbh), it's the only bit of facist I have.

Far too many ****s in this world exercising what should be a privilege as a right, whilst not meeting the bare minimum requirements of being a decent parent.

You should watch the handmaids tale!

What sounds a little can soon be a lot!

 

[Desmo]

There are more kids in the care system than there are adoptive parents.

But why? The answer isn't as simple as "there aren't enough adopters".

Some children might be "too damaged" for the average adopter and need very specialist care. There are disabled children, some severely, which needs a special mind of person to take on. There are sibling groups that they try to keep together meaning adopters are taking on multiple children at one time.

I'm really not sure there is a shortage of general adopters.

 

[Lakeland]

Having taught thousands and thousands of students I have never once came across anyone having the mick taken for being adopted. I can think of many things students get ripped for but in my experience being adopted/fostered is not one of them.