Advice needed

LukeSi

LukeSi

LukeSi

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Joined
21 Dec 2016
Posts
57
Location
Newcastle Under Lyme
Right I don’t know what to say and how to react.
Basically one of my friends has posted a status this morning to say they are now identifying as a woman. I’m going to completely honest, at first I thought it was a wind up, then I realised it probably isn’t.

I genuinely don’t know how to react. I want to be supportive etc but honestly can’t bring myself to. I’m a very open minded person. Like if someone came out and said they are gay for example then fair play that’s normal these days and as long as they don’t go bringing it up constantly I really couldn’t give a damn.

But the whole fluid sexuality or man identifying as a woman and vice versa for me is just wrong. Fair enough if you feel you are in the wrong body but tough. There isn’t really anything you can do about it. You can do whatever you want, have whatever surgery you want etc but you are still in the same body just chopped up a bit.

I apologise if this breaks any forum rules so feel free to delete the post if it does. He’s got a new facebook profile as his female self, and I’m going to be completely honest, it’s literally my mate in drag.

I know I sound really bad and I genuinely want to be supportive but I just can’t and I feel terrible because of it. I’m not religious at all but to me it just seems wrong.

Is there anyone else who has had similar and if so how did you react etc?
Like I said, I genuinely feel horrible saying to above but that’s how I feel.

I apologise to anyone who has undertaken gender realignment etc. At the end of the day it is your decision and this post wasn’t intended to cause offence.
 
Personally I have no problem with people identifying themselves as another gender at all. I do, however, have issues with this non binary rubbish that is being forced down our throat at the moment.

However on the topic in hand, if you find it hard to read, imagine how hard your mate found it to write?

In reference to you being supportive? Do you have to click the like button on their FB page or write some supportive statement under their profile picture? In my opinion.....NO.

Just abide by the bare minimum rules of society....if you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

p.s : this isn't an attack by me on you if you are finding it hard to accept, so please dont take it that way.
 
I had something like this happen but not a friend friend more of a hobby shop owner but we got on well was in there weekly, anyway not been in the shop for a month or so but needed to go so i walked in up to the counter as a slim long haired blond turned round and looked and said in a lady voice hello, i looked said hello back and had to walk around the shop for a second then left the shop realising who it was, Yeah it was him has a she unreal feeling i could not get my head together, i went back a week later as if nothing had happened and carried on buying what i needed to get.

I find it all strange but that is just me who says i am right :)
 
Rifte said:
Personally I have no problem with people identifying themselves as another gender at all. I do, however, have issues with this non binary rubbish that is being forced down our throat at the moment.

However on the topic in hand, if you find it hard to read, imagine how hard your mate found it to write?

In reference to you being supportive? Do you have to click the like button on their FB page or write some supportive statement under their profile picture? In my opinion.....NO.

Just abide by the bare minimum rules of society....if you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

p.s : this isn't an attack by me on you if you are finding it hard to accept, so please dont take it that way.
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Yeah thats pretty much what I'm doing. Yeah I have massive respect for him writing that and I can only imagine how hard it was to tell people.
 
As Rifte said, you don't need to feel great about it. Just accept them, treat them as you always did, and then don't worry about it. Their mental battle is going to be a million times more difficult than yours. Frankly, I can't conceive of the amount of courage these people need to do something like this.
 
Does it really affect your life that much? You don't need to agree with it but just accept it and get on with your own life.
 
I think with all this PC crap that's around at the moment that people have forgotten how to just be normal, friendly and helpful.

Part of being human is each having our own experiences. You, has a hetrosexual male, obviously don't have any experience with what he's been going through, so remember you're also allowed to ask questions. For example, don't know if "he" would now like to be referred to as "she" - just ask.

He/she's still the same person. She's also hopefully a much happier and more approachable person than before considering that until now she's hidden this part of her life from you.

Ultimately, despite your own personal thoughts on the matter, it sounds like you're willing to support her decisions so I'd encourage you to start by hitting the like button to let her know that your someone she can still consider a friend - because I'm willing to bet there's going to be plenty of other people that are far less reasoned or rational with their thoughts on the matter.
 
Although you may not like it, if you're truly his/her friend then you'll support them and not make a big deal of it.

Sounds to me that you're not that open minded if you're saying
LukeSi said:
Like if someone came out and said they are gay for example then fair play that’s normal these days
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I think it makes you sound very old fashioned. If it offends you and you don't feel you can be their friend any more then that's just quite sad, but if you're going to carry on being their friend then you need to be supportive. As others have said, their struggle is going to be many times yours, so try and see it from their side.
 
Ayahuasca said:
Does it really affect your life that much? You don't need to agree with it but just accept it and get on with your own life.
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Pretty much this

I mean, all you have to do is not be a dick about it and carry on as normal. Just continuing to be friends with them and not alienating them is all the support you need to give really...

It isn't like anything has really changed for you. They are still the same person they were last week to you, so shouldn't make a difference.
 
Cleisthenes said:
Although you may not like it, if you're truly his/her friend then you'll support them and not make a big deal of it.

Sounds to me that you're not that open minded if you're saying

I think it makes you sound very old fashioned. If it offends you and you don't feel you can be their friend any more then that's just quite sad, but if you're going to carry on being their friend then you need to be supportive. As others have said, their struggle is going to be many times yours, so try and see it from their side.
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I came across really badly there to be honest.
I've messaged them and said it's going to take me time to adjust but I'll do my best to be supportive.
At the end of the day he/she is still my friend and friends are always there to be supportive (and make fun of her when her Clio breaks as per usual)
 
Disown them and contact a member of the imperial inquisition to carry out an exterminatus.
 
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