Am I going completely nuts? Nursery rhyme question.

While we're on the subject, I remember singing this to my Dad and him laughing so much at it. No idea where I learnt it from but I was at primary school:-

My old mans a dustman, he wears a dustmans hat
He farted through the keyhole and paralysed the cat
The chairs could't stand it, the table fell apart
Just because my old man did a supersonic fart.
 
Makhaira said:
Ok, so I was talking to the missus about ****-take nursery rhymes, and now I appear to be some sort of utter lunatic (even more so than usual). I'm sure there was a version of the "3 in the bed and the little one said..." rhyme that actually went along the lines of "....and one fell out, and he bumped his head and his brain fell out...".

This is being flatly denied by herself.

Please GD, either put me out of my misery or sign my restraining order!

Thanks.

P.S. I know that since this is an evening post, it will be graced with the finest of sensible responses, thanks guys :p.
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No mate you’re not going mad.

The version I sing is from my time as a scout. The mrs gave me a strange look when I first sung it to our son at 3 months old.

There were 10 in the bed and the little one said, roll over, roll over.
So they all rolled over and one fell out, head kicked in and guts hanging out.
Please remember to tie a knot in you pyjamas, single beds are only made for 1,2,3.....
 
Sing a song of sixpence
A fur coat full of fleas
Four and twenty pussycats
roosting at their ease
When there was a full moon
The cats began to sing
My dad got up and threw a boot
And swore like anything.

The King was in his counting house,
playing with his computer
The queen was in the parlour
putting powder on her hooter
The maid was in the garden
harvesting the slugs
When down flew a pussycat
and pecked off both her lugs.

(This was in a kid's book, which I had when I was about 12. I can still remember it 29 years later... With apologies for the mild hijack)
 
Our version went something like..

Blah blah, 6 in a bed and one fell out and the little one said....

Please remember that single beds are made for 1,2,3,4,5in the bed and the little.... Etc etc.

Counting down to 1. I think it was from cub scouts...

Yes yes tie a knot etc....

Yes that all comes back now :p
 
Of course, what is forgotten is that it really wasn't that long ago when young children were expected to share a single bed in this way.

Top and tailing was the thing!
 
Tom0 said:
Anyone remember the rest of..

(To the Tune of Addams Family.. naturally)

The Addams Family started
when Uncle Fester farted..
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He farted through the keyhole and paralysed the cat,
The cat got so excited, it shouted Man United,
Something something Man United, something something, The Addams Family. (Can't remember this line!)
 
Some necro! My faves are..

To the Addam's family:

His father is his brother,
His sister is his mother,
And they all **** each other,
It's a (insert here, e.g. 'Mackem') family!

Oz's from Auf weidersehen, Pet:

To Rule Britannia:

Rule Britannia! Marmalade and Jam,
Five chinese crackers up your ********,
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
 
The Adams Family started
When Uncle Fester farted
He farted through the keyhole
And paralysed the cat
The cat was so excited
He shouted Man United
And Man United shouted
The Ah-dams-fam-ih-leeeee \o/
 
This is the most random one from school, must be over 30 years ago and was only around for a week or two but this is what I remember. Anyone hear anything similar?

To the tune of Rule Britannia.

Rule Britannia, two monkeys up a pole, one stuck his finger in the other ones,
Holy Moses sitting on a rock, along came a woman who sat on his,
Cockles and muscles, 2 and 6 a jar, and if you do not like the price, stick it up your,
Ask no questions, I'm sure that I saw, the bus driver pull down his,
Fly's are dangerous, but wasps are worse, and this is the end of my stupid little verse.
 
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