As I've said it's not about her remembering but more when she's older and looks back at photos etc. they won't be there for the two earliest events (at the least).
Am i overreacting?
- Thread starter Dis86
- Start date
As I've said it's not about her remembering but more when she's older and looks back at photos etc. they won't be there for the two earliest events (at the least).
No, they're retired and wealthy. They can and do go whenever they fancy it! 5-6 times a year for 2-4 weeks is the norm.
Man of Honour
Nah. Kids > *
I mean, if my parents shown me a photo of my first birthday party and my grandparents weren't in it I don't even think I'd bat an eyelid.
In the politest non-offensive way possible, I think this is more about you and your feelings than how your daughter would feel.
As long as her grandparents are involved in her life going forwards I don't think missing a birthday is a stick to beat them with. Not for me anyway but I'm not really a sentimental person in that way which is perfectly fine if you are.
But I like beating people with sticks
And there's no offense taken, there's a reason I had the opening post that I did! I consider all the reasonable inputs valid.
Man of Honour
And what's wrong with that? I'd feel insulted by my parents not valuing my child enough to A) be there to offer support during the birth period, and B) wanting to be there to share the absolute joy that is some of the most obviously special moments in their own child's (aka your) life.
Maybe some people just have different parental standards.
But I like beating people with sticks
And there's no offense taken, there's a reason I had the opening post that I did! I consider all the reasonable inputs valid.
I knew you wouldn't but I just wanted to stress that it wasn't anything negative or a criticism cause it certainly wasn't that
Whenever someone is away on the exact date my family would just hold on a more suitable date. Never known anyone take offense to it.
There's wrong with that. If that's how Dis feels he is completely entitled to feel that way.
I just think, personally, it's not that big of a deal.
There's a bit of main character syndrome when you think everyone needs to change their life plans because you've decided to have a child. It shouldn't be expected that they do anything but if they do decide to do something then you should just appreciate that for what it is.
I am extremely fortunate that my family are very supportive and want to be in my daughters life as much as possible and I'll never be able to explain how much I appreciate that but I also appreciate that life is short and people are busy. Sometimes people want to do their own thing and that is perfectly fine.
You've got 365 days a year. If they miss a birthday but are present for the majority of the year and actively in all of your lives? What on earth are you complaining about?
That's one way of looking at it, although it comes across as rather thin-skinned. I think Junglist's approach seems very reasonable and healthy. Do we want children growing up to believe they are the centre of everything and everyone (outside the immediate parental unit) must drop everything to accommodate their and their neurotic parent's needs?
Man of Honour
Not sure where this hypothetical strawman situation where kids are the center of everything is coming from, but thanks for the insults bro.
Reading this thread has been quite revealing, I'm certainly more thankful than ever I have the most amazing parents.
C'mon then, where are you going on holiday?
With me I think a lot if it comes down to amazing memories from my childhood of time spent with my grandparents and also the fact we have the photos showing my grandfather holding me the day I was born, my grandmother sitting with me on her knee at my first birthday and such.
Heck, they used to travel 400 miles to see me at christmas and my birthday when we moved away!
Man of Honour
Couldn't agree more. I think some people just don't know what they're missing.
But the grandparents are still involved, taking a holiday on the exact birthday means they are bad or somehow missing out?
Last edited:
Man of Honour
Not necessarily, but it's certainly part of a pattern of behaviour from my point of view. I personally do not understand how you could choose to go on holiday rather than witness, or celebrate, the birth of a grandchild.
:edit: whether they are missing out is not up for debate. They clearly are missing out on the opportunity to be there for these exact moments. Whether that matters to them is a different matter, but that in itself paints a picture.
Last edited:
Man of Honour
They should absolutely be special to their grandparents. What's your point here, are you suggesting that loving devoted family should stop with the immediate family? I don't get it.
Pass the bucket
