AM I WRONG

edscdk said:
bin men, cleaners, shop workers, bar staff to name but a few jobs that dont need qualifications..
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binmen jobs never get advertised and are highly sought after.

cleaning jobs generally want recent cleaning company references

dont know about shop workers and bar staff though
 
fez said:
Your being way too soft on them and from what you have said they are a pair of ungrateful little *****. If you cant reason with someone and show them the error of their views on this issue then there is little hope. From what you say, the mother wants you to keep paying for them indefinitely and from experience I can tell you that if you spoil children then it becomes their god given right to be spoilt.

The only way you will get over this is to be tough and just say no. Dont discuss it with the wife, just tell her no and explain why. Explain how she is being stupid to say they are kids when they are over 20 and go out on the lash and have girlfriends. Explain to her that you are not doing them any good and that they need to make a life for themselves.

This is the generation where kids are not leaving home till their mid twenties and then coming back a few times after that. Its all because parents are too mollycoddling.
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Banzai_Joe said:
:eek:....and thus you teach your kids what? That they can sponge of dad anytime the going gets tough?
How well off the parents are is totally irrelevent, period!
Youngsters need to learn money doesn't grow on trees and when they enter the 'real' world that's how it's gonna be.
When you die what will your kids do then? Starve?
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Inherit the millions and carry on as usual? ;)

It would seem a bit backward to me if the parents had a lot in the bank, no mortgage, no issue paying the bills. and the teen/early 20s starting out in life earning next to bugger all being charged rent for living at home.

I think how well off the parents are is relevant. If the parents really don't need the money, as long as their offspring is actually trying to make a go of it and is intending to leave home at some point, I don't think it's necessary to charge any form of rent.

If they're sponging, not even looking for work, then yes - they need a kick up the arse.
 
csmager said:
I think how well off the parents are is relevant. If the parents really don't need the money, as long as their offspring is actually trying to make a go of it and is intending to leave home at some point, I don't think it's necessary to charge any form of rent.

If they're sponging, not even looking for work, then yes - they need a kick up the arse.
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Yeah, totally agree with you there mate.
But it aint their godgiven right to assume the parents will gift them everything they have. They've probably worked hard all their lives for what they have.
Its all about lifes lessons not necessarily about the 'need for rent'.
 
Im 20, live at home but pay rent.

I dont think your wrong, at all. As others have stated, the missus is there to back your loved ones up, no matter what they do, she's their Mother, and will fight any corner for them.

Sit and talk with her (if you can :D) and let her know how you're feeling about this.
 
At 20 years old I hope he is contributing to the running of the house and paying his keep. If he can afford to sit in the Pub then he can afford to pay you keep. Regarding his education - 20 is still very young so he could go to College yet and study.
 
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NO i'm 17 and when i get a full time job this summer i will offer to pay rent even though neither of my sisters have and theyr'e 20 and 22
 
Time for them to take on some responsibility and pay towards the running of the house. Will help them learn the true value of money.
 
It's always going to be her and them vs you, and for that reason i'd never get in that situation.
 
Thanks guys i think the question has been answered unanimously.The reason i posted was because my partner had almost convinced me that i was the one who was out of order for even daring to ask the boys to either contribute to their upkeep or even do some chores. Thankyou all.
 
Blooming Ek! You guys pay a lot of cash to your parents! If i were giving them £150 id move out!

Im 22 and been living away from parents since i was 19 (have a part-time job & uni). When i was living with them i was not charged for digs, i left school and went straight to uni. My Mum & Dad have supported me all the way, helping me out with cash as i do not qualify for bursary or high student loan (the systems ******)

If it were me in your shoes:
Not Working - No subsidy - Ask for 1/2 of their Job Seekers
Working Partime (£400 PM) - £50 a Month
Fulltime (1100 PM) - Id help them get their own place.
Studying - £0pm - Dont pay my required student contribution and let them stay digs free.
Studying (Partime Job) - Help him/her get their own place.


Thats what i THINK i would do lol. Best of luck anyway
 
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Im 29 so you have the gift of experience. I would try my best to explain the problem over a long period of time. Ya know - saying 'I wish xxxx would take an interest in this or that' over a nice bottle of wine. Women think they are always right so to convince them otherwise takes time and patience. You can only try your best mate - look out for them and advise them etc.
 
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I pay my mum £25.00 per week. It's not much but we get paid less here than you guys would on the mainland. I worry about my folks. That's why im still here at the minute. I worry about my Mum so moving out at this moment is not an option.
 
So ...... if I understand this ..... the eldest is a qualified bricklayer, with potential earnings of £600+ a week if he's any good and there is work: The second is unqualified except for being able to irresponsibly father kids that he seems not to want, and they both live at home with mum and you and contribute zero to the home, either via chores or £££ ?

Why don't you give 'em all an ultimatum? including mum? they are taking the ****, big time and should have been shown the door a long, long time ago ..... or you should have moved on and left them all to it.

I wish you all the best, whatever you do but DO SOMETHING.

Kind regards, singist.
 
singist said:
So ...... if I understand this ..... the eldest is a qualified bricklayer, with potential earnings of £600+ a week if he's any good and there is work: The second is unqualified except for being able to irresponsibly father kids that he seems not to want, and they both live at home with mum and you and contribute zero to the home, either via chores or £££ ?

Why don't you give 'em all an ultimatum? including mum? they are taking the ****, big time and should have been shown the door a long, long time ago ..... or you should have moved on and left them all to it.

I wish you all the best, whatever you do but DO SOMETHING.

Kind regards, singist.
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Thanks for the input singist,to start off the eldest no longer does bricklaying he has a job making granite worktops.The youngest pretends to be a father but would rather be out with his mates at every chance.I have on several occasions given them the ultimatum but get back thrown in my face that i would never see my grand daughter again which to me would be the WORST thing ever as i live my life for her and she is the only thing in the world that i care about. I think they have me by the bxxxs on that one. Thanks
 
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