Anyone fancy reading a script I wrote?

[Megahurtz400]

Yeah why not

dan manley [at] gmx [dot] com

No spaces obviously

 

[GhostlyPea]

yeah mate just looking through those changes now, "a lay on" is something in particular but it might be worth making that clearer, can easily say "do it us on lay on, give you the cash tomorrow" that's pretty clear.

drop off is the same, that's a specific term but I reckon you're into semantics there so I might just change it anyway as that does make better sense.

And do it cash in was definitely right, will change that.

Thanks for the input though, did you find it funny?



sent mate, sent to everyone I got an email from

Thought they might have been a regional dialect thing or something, wasn't sure so pu tthem there just in case

And funny? I'll be honest, reading through it nothing came across as funny/comedy even a dark one. It read more as a bleak drug ridden council trash ***** community scraping by by selling on drugs through pain of losing a finger =/ I guess it would benefit more from the screen play

- Pea0n

 

[Aero]

sent mate





no emails guys.

How come it shows up in some people's but not in others?

I've dropped you an email instead

 

[_ST]

I would love to read it, I will pass it to the Mrs aswell.

 

[anksta]

sent to everyone whose address I have, _ST if you send me an email I'll send it on

 

[manveruppd]

If you still need more feedback I'd be very curious to take a look at it! Email in trust.

 

[Makhaira]

More than happy to have a gander, MS Office format preferred if possible since it's a doddle to embed comments!

 

[anksta]

More than happy to have a gander, MS Office format preferred if possible since it's a doddle to embed comments!

not got it in Word format, at work at the minute so I can't sort it out, don't think it's too hard for you to convert it though.

EDIT: no email mate

 

[Makhaira]

Email is in trust .

 

[anksta]

it's not mate, send one through mine

 

[anksta]

anymore feedback tonight gents and gentettes?

 

[_ST]

Hi, I have sent you 2 emails but not received a reply as of yet?

 

[anksta]

Hi, I have sent you 2 emails but not received a reply as of yet?

no mate only got one from you saying you hadn't a chance to pass it on yet, did you send another? It's not in my junk, although I have just found another request so I'll send that on now.

 

[_ST]

Got it now mate thank you. Will have a read now

 

[anksta]

anyone got any feedback?

I'm getting very concerned now that I've sent it to so many people and only a couple have said anything about it.

Do the rest of you not like it?

 

[_ST]

I have sent you an email.

 

[SuperMan]

I wasn't sure if it was a one off or a series so the Emily point is valid. You didn't answer my question about running away to spain though?

And peon you not find the whole pink tennis racket bit funny? Made me chuckle.

 

[DailyGeek]

I'll take a look if you like? Been writing comedy, sketches and sitcom pitches for years now..

 

[Edrof]

Anksta, just sent you a wall-of-text e-mail

 

[anksta]

I wasn't sure if it was a one off or a series so the Emily point is valid. You didn't answer my question about running away to spain though?

And peon you not find the whole pink tennis racket bit funny? Made me chuckle.

We checked the debts that you could go to prison for in this country, things like utility bills can result in a prison sentence eventually.

The implication that he's been inside before we hope will support that threat of jail. We left out what the specific debt was on purpose to imply that he has a lot.

I'll take a look if you like? Been writing comedy, sketches and sitcom pitches for years now..

will send it now mate

Anksta, just sent you a wall-of-text e-mail

yeah I've just read that Forde, thanks. Gonna reply now.

Anyone else?