Anyone had an affair ?
- Thread starter GJ02
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Soldato
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Never had an affair, ive kissed a couple of girls in the early day's of my marriage, I felt bad about it until we split up so i doubt I would do it again. Like Gordy, my old man cheated on my mum a few times. It wouldnt bother me if my girlfriend cheated as long as I didnt find out about it.
Couldn't agree more, with out new 5 week old baby and wedding in July, that would hurt me so much i could never forgive her.
i do have a question though, if you gf/fiance had a best mate and whenever he would say hi in text or fb he would call her sexy, how would you approach it, would you be bothered or not take much notice.
i do have a question though, if you gf/fiance had a best mate and whenever he would say hi in text or fb he would call her sexy, how would you approach it, would you be bothered or not take much notice.
Quite possibly... But I don't really know. For obvious reasons its not something I would discuss in too much detail with either of them.
I suppose this just reinforces my point in that other thread regarding the importance of finding a partner with a matched sex drive.
Theres not many people on the planet wit ha sex drive like mine, I think I've got an addiction
Its hardly any of our business
I would not be happy about it... And to be honest, neither should she. If he is calling her 'sexy' everytime the talk/text, you have to question his intentions and/or understanding of their relationship.
I think you made probably the best point in that last thread Gordy, it really is a big part of a relationship and finding someone compatible in the sack isn't shallow it brings a better connection.
Sometimes hard as a guy to find a match though
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Soldato
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Would never do it, and the nag would not let me anyway 
Theres not many people on the planet wit ha sex drive like mine, I think I've got an addiction
You're talking to one....
The more I think about it this could be the reason. My sex drive is relentless and one would assume I inherited this from somewhere.
Though I approached things very differently than my father. Rather than cheat, I left women if I found our sex drives were too unmatched and have now thankfully found an absolute stunning girl who is every but as sexual as I am.
I think you made probably the best point in that last thread Gordy, it really is a big part of a relationship and finding someone compatible in the sack isn't shallow it brings a better connection.
Sometimes hard as a guy to find a match though
They're out there mate... Trust me. Just don't fall in to the trap of settling for something you're not entirely happy with and you'll come across her eventually
you what? even if you didnt know and I know thats your point....she'd be coming home and not the person you fell for, tainted somehow...I just dont agree with your point at all.
Theres not many people on the planet wit ha sex drive like mine, I think I've got an addiction
Thats what I thought, until I met my current girlfriend(ish)
. 'ish' because shes on the other side of the world and we are technically not together anymore but hopefully will be soon. Happy to say I've never strayed away while we were properly together and so far apart, but Im tempted to dip my toes somewhere else before we (again, hopefully ((women are so confusing, but we all know that anyway )) are together for good.
Soldato
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I've been cheated on and I couldn't inflict the same pain on another person. It is truly heartbreaking.
Hopefully hes gay and its just gay talk, if not then i definately would not be happy. I should be the only one looking at my gf in a sexual way! Well im sure other people would look at her that way too, but keep it to themselves!
I thought so, when i raised her about it, she said that he does it all the time and theres nothing to worry about. I personally dont like other men trying to worm there way in.
In these situations, your partner really should be mature enough to think about the shoe being on the other foot. How would she feel if you got a text from a girl every day calling you sexy?
It's not really about you not trusting her... Because I am certain you do...
But even though in all likelyhood it is completely innocent, in a good relationship with understanding and mutual respect, each partner should be aware of the other ones feelings and if anything go out of their way to ensure they are encouraging nothing that could breed an insecurity.
This is where women are frequently hypocritical. Though thankfully not all of them. My current girlfriend would not tolerate anyone other than me calling her sexy. If a guy friend did it once she would tell him that its not appropriate. If he did it twice, he would be removed from facebook/phone number deleted and ignored.
I wouldn't ever ask her to do the above, she just would. This is good as it breeds trust and has encouraged me to act the same with the women that come on to me, or any female friends I have who cross that line.
Soldato
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Thats fine that you dont, if nothing changed and i mean nothing, there would be no difference. Heck, I bet theres probably people posting in this thread that have been cheated on with no idea and do they care? Not a jot!
I can't say I'm with you on this one either i'm afraid mate... While I appreciate your point, i've never bought into the whole 'if they don't know it doesn hurt them' argument.
Each to their own though
Exactly, this is difficult to approach as i dont want her to think that im controlling her on over-protective.