Anyone here a stepdad?

Aruffell

Aruffell

Aruffell

Soldato
Joined
29 Dec 2004
Posts
5,653
Location
Chatham, Kent
Been with my mrs for 6 months now and i knew the situation of her having 3 kids when we first got together.

She's now 30 and i'm nearly 22 and we argue quite a bit (which i believe is down to the contraceptive injection), mainly arguing about her 3 kids who are 19 months, 3 and 5.

19 month old is a baby so easy to handle

3 year old is at the stage where he wants to see how far he can push you such as me telling him off, him saying yes he understands and as soon as i turn my back, he shakes his head saying no.

I then tell him off more and i get accused of "bullying" him by my partner.

The 5 year old has mental disabilities and gets frustrated about putting her clothes on in the morning and occasionally tells me to shut up, be quiet, slaps her 2 younger brothers and is quite disabedient (sp?).

2 days ago, the tv was on in the living room and the 19 month old turned round in his chair at the dinner table to watch it and got told off by his mum (my partner) for not sitting round at the table and eating dinner.

Today, the 5 year old did the same thing, so all i simply did was to move her so she couldn't see the telly, she cried and whinged as per usual and then my partner gave me a dirty look and asked why i did it.

I don't have any kids of my own so im new to this barring the last 6 months and it seems like i should have all of the answers and know what to do.

So i clearly said that i'm not going to discipline her kids any more, and hence she has phoned in sick to work tonight so i dont bath the kids due to if they do something wrong, i won't tell them off as i said i would.

I get called selfish and immature but it seems to me as if it's the other way round, i've never had a thank or a "i really appreciate you taking on my kids".

I see on these talk shows that they say that a man who takes on someone elses kids deserves a lot of gratitude. Where's mine?

Rant over, anyone else in this situation?

Thanks,

Andy
 
Fell in love with her though, and since 3 months ago (when she got her injection) before she was on the pill, she has become a moody cow who blames me for everything.

Andy
 
Research the injection and see if it causes mood swings. Never argue with a women unless you have evidence, even then you will probably lose.
 
I'd have a chat with her about it, what are your 'rights' with the kids and what would she prefer you not to do? If it seems unreasonable then protest, failing that then think of moving on. 22 seems too young to be dealing with kids, but that's my opinion and I'm sure others will disagree.
 
Funny thing is, she has given me 3 months to get a job and for me to change.

I've got a part time job as a cleaner which brings in £65 every week and every penny goes to her for me to live in the house.

Andy
 
Thats some serious baggage for a 22 year old to deal with, maybe you should look for newer pastures as this one looks to be going very wrong very quickly. You might want kids of you own one day and it sounds like she isn't wanting to have any more, are you sure you want to walk the path you are on for the future?

Having kids of your own is one of the best thing you can do in life, don't rob yourself of this feeling.
 
Now im not against taking on someone with kids, but it sounds like your in the poop here.

Get out, seriously! 22yr old with crap.. leave
 
Aruffell said:
Been with my mrs for 6 months now and i knew the situation of her having 3 kids when we first got together.

She's now 30 and i'm nearly 22 and we argue quite a bit (which i believe is down to the contraceptive injection), mainly arguing about her 3 kids who are 19 months, 3 and 5.

19 month old is a baby so easy to handle

3 year old is at the stage where he wants to see how far he can push you such as me telling him off, him saying yes he understands and as soon as i turn my back, he shakes his head saying no.

I then tell him off more and i get accused of "bullying" him by my partner.

The 5 year old has mental disabilities and gets frustrated about putting her clothes on in the morning and occasionally tells me to shut up, be quiet, slaps her 2 younger brothers and is quite disabedient (sp?).

2 days ago, the tv was on in the living room and the 19 month old turned round in his chair at the dinner table to watch it and got told off by his mum (my partner) for not sitting round at the table and eating dinner.

Today, the 5 year old did the same thing, so all i simply did was to move her so she couldn't see the telly, she cried and whinged as per usual and then my partner gave me a dirty look and asked why i did it.

I don't have any kids of my own so im new to this barring the last 6 months and it seems like i should have all of the answers and know what to do.

So i clearly said that i'm not going to discipline her kids any more, and hence she has phoned in sick to work tonight so i dont bath the kids due to if they do something wrong, i won't tell them off as i said i would.

I get called selfish and immature but it seems to me as if it's the other way round, i've never had a thank or a "i really appreciate you taking on my kids".

I see on these talk shows that they say that a man who takes on someone elses kids deserves a lot of gratitude. Where's mine?

Rant over, anyone else in this situation?

Thanks,

Andy
Click to expand...

22 and 30. Theres the problem, you still have lots of growing up to do. Not meaning that in a derogatory sense but it's true that people do lots of maturing in there 20s.

You are throwing a lot of your life away to be in this situation...
 
Aruffell said:
Fell in love with her though, and since 3 months ago (when she got her injection) before she was on the pill, she has become a moody cow who blames me for everything.

Andy
Click to expand...

thats the same injection they give rapists.

did she not research it? she should have stuck to the pill if she was having no problems, some of those contraceptives can cause all kinds of mood problems.

sounds like you need to get out anyway she doesnt see you as the father to those kids and she never will it will just get worse as they get older and more out of control.

they will become even more aware that she doesnt ever back you up so they wont listen to you ever.

its not worth it just get out..

just read she expects you to get a better higher paying job so you can support her kids better, honestly GET OUT NOW! tell her the real dads should be taking care of there own kids.

i say DADS because i bet they arent all from the same father
 
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