Anyone sleep with a weapon?

bakes0310 · 29 Jun 2013 at 10:30

Bit odd thread I know, but does anyone sleep with a weapon under their pillow or under the bed. My brother for quite some time now has a base ball bat under his bed covers. He takes it with him when he needs to go toilet in the middle of the night.

SHEDDER1uk · 29 Jun 2013 at 10:31

My wife

Jokester · 29 Jun 2013 at 10:32

Where does he live that he thinks he needs to sleep with a baseball bat in the bed with him? Aleppo?

Biohazard · 29 Jun 2013 at 10:32

SHEDDER1uk said:
My wife

His wife. So I can vouch for this.

SideWinder · 29 Jun 2013 at 10:33

bakes0310 said:
He takes it with him when he needs to go toilet in the middle of the night.

Is his toilet a 15 minute walk away in the middle of a council estate? :/

robgmun · 29 Jun 2013 at 10:36

I have a small iron bar (maybe 2ft long) on the floor by my bed, had it for donkeys years. It's actually a one of those things that professional chefs use to sharpen knifes.

steveo · 29 Jun 2013 at 10:38

i use to sleep with a baseball bat next to the bed when i lived in Chapeltown Leeds (only white guy on me street at the time) but i never really had trouble, it was more to keep the Gf happy knowing it was there

Transam · 29 Jun 2013 at 10:38

Biohazard said:
His wife. So I can vouch for this.

As can I. She gets around a bit...

Biohazard · 29 Jun 2013 at 10:41

steveo said:
i use to sleep with a baseball bat next to the bed when i lived in Chapeltown Leeds (only white guy on me street at the time) but i never really had trouble, it was more to keep the Gf happy knowing it was there

She must have been a big woman.

LordSplodge · 29 Jun 2013 at 10:44

Biohazard said:
She must have been a big woman.

*badum* *tish*

No, because I'm not paranoid. Even when I was younger and lived in some less than upstanding locations.

steveo · 29 Jun 2013 at 10:44

Biohazard said:
She must have been a big woman.

lol i have spat coffee on my desk coz of you

1 e-cookie for you sir

One More Solo · 29 Jun 2013 at 10:48

SHEDDER1uk said:
My wife

Zing

[FnG]magnolia · 29 Jun 2013 at 10:48

bakes0310 said:
He takes it with him when he needs to go toilet in the middle of the night.

Him: "Pee!"

Penis: "No, you cannot make me."

Him: "I have a baseball bat!"

Penis: "You wouldn't dare hit me wit - OH GOD, IT HURTS, STOP HITTING ME!"

Him: "Not until you pee."

Penis: "Right, I'll pee, I'll pee!"

Him: "Yeah."

(no penises were harmed in the typing of this post)

nemtizz · 29 Jun 2013 at 10:50

bakes0310 said:
My brother for quite some time now has a base ball bat under his bed covers. He takes it with him when he needs to go toilet in the middle of the night.

What has he done to warrant this?

Johnnytoxic · 29 Jun 2013 at 10:52

[FnG]magnolia;24533266 said:
Him: "Pee!"

Penis: "No, you cannot make me."

Him: "I have a baseball bat!"

Penis: "You wouldn't dare hit me wit - OH GOD, IT HURTS, STOP HITTING ME!"

Him: "Not until you pee."

Penis: "Right, I'll pee, I'll pee!"

Him: "Yeah."

(no penises were harmed in the typing of this post)

You should hit the comedy circuits with that material.

Castiel · 29 Jun 2013 at 10:57

No, because I don't live in a Crap-hole.

StriderX · 29 Jun 2013 at 10:59

Anyone that needs to sleep with a weapon near them is either paranoid, a degenerate or has made a stupid decision to live in a crap area.

Nope no good or middle ground here.

Twirlywoos · 29 Jun 2013 at 11:01

StriderX said:
Anyone that needs to sleep with a weapon near them is either paranoid, a degenerate or has made a stupid decision to live in a crap area.

Nope no good or middle ground here.

Your post is so full of **** it's unbelievable. Maybe you should get out in the real world once in a while.

Guest2 · 29 Jun 2013 at 11:02

Not in my bed but do have a lump hammer next to it. Not really needed as someone would have to go through 4 locked doors and past CCTV to get into my bedroom

d_brennen · 29 Jun 2013 at 11:06

Don't need to. With my Jason Bourne style strength and reflexes, even my pillow is a deadly weapon