Approaching the "weight" issue

Just say "look it appears your getting a bit comfortable, and I'm not attracted to fat girls. So you really need to start eating healthy and do some exercise." Blunt but it will work.
 
i would have no respect for someone that had no respect for themselves

this would lead to the gradual downfall of the relationship.
 
Unless she wants to do it, it won't happen.

Since I have been with my gf we have both gained around 1.5 stone...purely because its happiness fat, we are both aware and we are both doing something about it.

To be honest of you're afraid of approaching a difficult subject with her you either need to grow a pair and do it or shouldn't be with her.

Big part of relationships is honesty, if you can't be honest a relationship will not work.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, I have always taken the approach of "just get on and sat it and deal with it" - Jen is the same and we're ridiculously happy because of it. :)
 
Phate said:
Unless she wants to do it, it won't happen.

Since I have been with my gf we have both gained around 1.5 stone...purely because its happiness fat, we are both aware and we are both doing something about it.
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complacency fat more like.

I bet you would both soon lose that 1.5stones if you were single
 
drunkenmaster said:
Jesus, the reason women seem to be so sensitive is men have made a point to make talking about these things as awkward as possible by not being honest.
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One my female friends asked me if I thought she was over weight. We was out having a meal with some other friends. The convo went like this:

Me: You want my honest opinion as a friend.
Her: Yes of course I won't get mad.
Me: You are a little over weight and could lose a few pounds.
Her: You don't find me attractive then.

I will point out now I have a gf and have no interest in her other than I work with her (not directly but same place).

Me: I didn't say that but I answered your question.
Her: So your saying you don't find me attractive ?
Me: Stop putting words in my mouth. I answered your question honestly. I never commented on your looks. Just that you are a bit overweight.
Her: So I'm overweight and unattractive ?
Me: Lets stop talking about this now.
Her: No I want to know the answer am I fat and unattractive or not. (Her voice was getting quite loud now)
Me: Please calm down, I just said you are a bit overweight nothing else.
She slaps my face and walks off.

Next day she apologized to me :confused: I still have no idea what happened that night like why she got so angry. But all's fine now. I put it down to wrong time of the month.
 
Best things to do, not in any particular order:-

1. Start working out yourself and get in better shape and eat really healthy - go on a big health fix.

Usually when you start doing this you get a couple of reactions - firstly she might start either subtly, or directly, trying to stop you or sabotage you. She will hopefully start caring about herself a bit more when she realises you do (and you have more options).

2. Tell her you are planning a beach holiday in 3 months.

3. Buy her clothes in her former size.

4. A bit low blow and not something I would do if I cared about someone a lot, but let her see you looking at / flirting with slim women and judging her a bit more....

5. Tell her straight she needs to sort herself out and you aren't happy with the way she is letting her self go.
 
Honestly mate, sometimes you've got be cruel to be kind

Just sit her down, look her up and down and say "Whale, whale, whale, we seem to have a problem..."

Not serious, but you do really just have to be blunt, she might be massively offended and not talk to you, but if she's not a complete **** then she'll come around and thank you for it. Sometimes people just can't see it and need a wake up call
 
What's her weight/size? Overweight?

You've only given us her size, for all we know she's currently at a perfectly healthy size and you're just fattist :P
 
The main issue with over weight women is making love

How do you know you're in :confused: and if there's a huge belly in the way, can you even get it in?

I'm not talking about your mrs btw OP....just very large women in general.

To be honest, I love women to have a bit of meat on them. Curves are nice....but there's a line between curvy and just plain fat
 
arknor said:
complacency fat more like.

I bet you would both soon lose that 1.5stones if you were single
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Call it whatever you like, we have been going out and eating a lot. Gaining weight when getting into a relationship is hardly an unknown thing, it's very common.

We're both working to lose it though, it's fine :)
 
Hang on guys,

You do realise that in most cases, being cruel has the opposite effect. There's a high chance she will eat even more.

are you sure there isn't anything else wrong? is she unhappy about something?
 
Maybe cook her a healthy meal for when she gets in? She'll feel obligated to eat it.

Tell her you're joining a gym, ask her to join with you because you don't want to go alone?

Tell her theres nothing wrong with her being plus size but you're worried about her health, with the bad diet and lack of exercise.
 
Try not to call her fat! I would take the approach of being worried about her cholesterol levels, risk of heart attack, etc.
Also agree with the earlier post regarding her 'single woman' weight, most women I know do put weight on when in a relationship. Easy as you go.
 
Like others have said, if she doesn't want to do it, it won't happen.

I had a gf who kept on saying she wanted to lose weight, but she didn't want to enough. When we started dating she was a size 10, and she got gradually bigger. One of the reasons I left her was that I was just not physically attracted to her anymore, but it was her attitude that was even less attractive.

It's a very thorny issue with women and I would never discuss it directly. Either they want it or they don't.

If you want to be with someone long-term their weight and their attitude towards weight and food is important. My wife is a size 8 and eats very well. I find it attractive and it's good healthwise too.
 
"I like you being fat because I don't have to worry about you cheating on me"
sleep with one eye open and a knife under your pillow
 
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