If we're talking about medical conditions then yes I'd agree, otherwise no.
Approaching the "weight" issue
- Thread starter The_One
- Start date
If we're talking about medical conditions then yes I'd agree, otherwise no.
I'm not sure if that was meant to be funny or just honest but I did genuinely laugh out loud at my desk.
Just being honest mate.
Not even that..some people are simply happy as they are, whether they are healthy or not is different from how they feel about themselves. How people identify with themselves is different in all of us., I know someone who lost a lot of weight and then consciously gained a good portion of it back because they simply did not like who they had become, they are arguably less healthy physically, but mentally they are far happier and therefore healthier.
My experience of this is as follows.
I basicly told my missus she needed to lose some weight, which upset her, My way of reasoning with her is, if you carry on as you are, you will end up looking like your sister, and I don't want to go out with your sister, I don't find her attractive.
I think she could relate to this better but was still upset.
She has since dropped hints that it is making her unhappy that I don't find her attractive and that our sex life is suffering because of it. She still fails to do anything about it though. (2 weeks on a fad diet and swimming then gave up)
I myself injured my back 3 months ago and stopped all exercise and at the same time stopped calorie counting, I have over 2 months piled on about 8kilos. This week I have started back on the calorie/macro counting and she has allegedley started a diet as well.
I don't expect her to stick to it however, she has to want it in order for it to happen.
This is how every success story works, if you want success you will do EVERYTHING in your power to make it happen. She just doesn't want it badly enough to make it happen
I basicly told my missus she needed to lose some weight, which upset her, My way of reasoning with her is, if you carry on as you are, you will end up looking like your sister, and I don't want to go out with your sister, I don't find her attractive.
I think she could relate to this better but was still upset.
She has since dropped hints that it is making her unhappy that I don't find her attractive and that our sex life is suffering because of it. She still fails to do anything about it though. (2 weeks on a fad diet and swimming then gave up)
I myself injured my back 3 months ago and stopped all exercise and at the same time stopped calorie counting, I have over 2 months piled on about 8kilos. This week I have started back on the calorie/macro counting and she has allegedley started a diet as well.
I don't expect her to stick to it however, she has to want it in order for it to happen.
This is how every success story works, if you want success you will do EVERYTHING in your power to make it happen. She just doesn't want it badly enough to make it happen
Being more happy doesn't make you healthier or mean you have self respect.
I'd like to point out this is based on very overweight people not your average bloke with a few extra pounds.
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Soldato
- Joined
- 22 Feb 2008
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- 11,114
Indeed. I also used to know a girl who did exactly the same thing.
The notion that overweight/fat/obese people simply cannot respect themselves is little more than a disingenuous projection of your own lack of respect for them, by virtue of little more than their appearance.
Genuinely believing that ought to prod you towards a little more introspection than anything, really.
Tricky one. Girls can be so emotionally brittle about that sort of thing. Suspect it would be kindest to say that the both of you should be living healthier rather than just pointing at her yelling fatty. The we're in it together mentality if you will. Cook healthy meals and hide the chocolate.
Soldato
- Joined
- 22 Feb 2008
- Posts
- 11,114
My experience of this is as follows.
I basicly told my missus she needed to lose some weight, which upset her, My way of reasoning with her is, if you carry on as you are, you will end up looking like your sister, and I don't want to go out with your sister, I don't find her attractive.
I think she could relate to this better but was still upset.
She has since dropped hints that it is making her unhappy that I don't find her attractive and that our sex life is suffering because of it. She still fails to do anything about it though. (2 weeks on a fad diet and swimming then gave up)
I myself injured my back 3 months ago and stopped all exercise and at the same time stopped calorie counting, I have over 2 months piled on about 8kilos. This week I have started back on the calorie/macro counting and she has allegedley started a diet as well.
I don't expect her to stick to it however, she has to want it in order for it to happen.
This is how every success story works, if you want success you will do EVERYTHING in your power to make it happen. She just doesn't want it badly enough to make it happen
Could you maybe take over the cooking in the household, and set up a daily exercise regime that you both take part in together? Making it a couples' activity might help her stay with it.
My experience of this is as follows.
I basicly told my missus she needed to lose some weight, which upset her, My way of reasoning with her is, if you carry on as you are, you will end up looking like your sister, and I don't want to go out with your sister, I don't find her attractive.
I think she could relate to this better but was still upset.
She has since dropped hints that it is making her unhappy that I don't find her attractive and that our sex life is suffering because of it. She still fails to do anything about it though. (2 weeks on a fad diet and swimming then gave up)
I myself injured my back 3 months ago and stopped all exercise and at the same time stopped calorie counting, I have over 2 months piled on about 8kilos. This week I have started back on the calorie/macro counting and she has allegedley started a diet as well.
I don't expect her to stick to it however, she has to want it in order for it to happen.
This is how every success story works, if you want success you will do EVERYTHING in your power to make it happen. She just doesn't want it badly enough to make it happen
Another reason people fail is that they don't see results quickly enough.
Or they drop a load of water weight in the first week, think they're dieting experts and don't understand why they're not losing how they want to after that.
It certainly makes you mentally healthier (which is what i said) and if you have self-respect then you have it, it isn't something that is imbued on you by someone else.
Many people who are overweight are not unhappy because of how they judge themselves, but because of the way others judge them based on something as shallow as their appearance not conforming to a predefined acceptable ideal.
They'd be unhappy if they actually realised how many problems being overweight can cause, especially in later life. Alas if everything is sunshine and rainbows at the current moment then everything is fine right?
I've skipped the entire thread, but my advice here would be to take the initiative and encourage her into healthy habits, rather than criticising her.
Cook her healthy dinners when she gets home at 8pm, introduce her to healthy snacks.
You could also - without being an arse - present her with some stats and comments about how unhealthy things are, to discourage healthy eating.
The problem with this all, is that is needs to be her decision - forcing someone to change never goes well. She needs to think she's being unhealthy, and then vow to change.
Cook her healthy dinners when she gets home at 8pm, introduce her to healthy snacks.
You could also - without being an arse - present her with some stats and comments about how unhealthy things are, to discourage healthy eating.
The problem with this all, is that is needs to be her decision - forcing someone to change never goes well. She needs to think she's being unhealthy, and then vow to change.
Some people are perfectly happy being overweight even if they know the increased risks...this goes for a whole range of other things as well, such as smoking, extreme sports and so on....it doesn't imply they have no self-respect, in fact simply being unhappy doesn't imply they have no self-respect either.
theres no point changing to healthy food if she will just eat as many calories of healthy food as she does unhealthy food which is the mistake most people make.
it's healthy = you can eat as much as you like and not get fat
Well clearly you see things differently, but extremely overweight people lack any self respect in my opinion and I'll stand by it.
It would appear that may be the case.
