Approaching the "weight" issue

The_One said:
no it hasnt

im slim btw as i do a lot of running/cycling and swimming
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If her weight hasn't changed since you've been together why the sudden concern? Is it just because you've realised how poor her diet is after spending a holiday with her?

To be fair to her if the chips and mayonnaise are just a holiday exception is there much of an issue here? I always over indulge whilst on holiday.
 
Most women know if they are overweight.

I got close to a 14 once and my friend said to me 'if you hadn't started going back to the gym I was going to say something to you'.

Fortunately my tight 'fat' jeans had said enough.

Can you speak to her mum? Sometimes mums can get away with saying stuff like that.

BB x
 
Suarez7 said:
I have never once stated I don't respect fat people. I have no issue with anyone living their life the way they choose.
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You certainly imply it with the below comment, which could be construed as as a thinly veiled representation of your true feelings on the subject hidden behind your politically correct reply :)

Suarez7 said:
Maybe not just eating certain foods but when people let themselves get obese and bigger I think we can all agree that they lack much self respect. Yes it does differ in us all how we judge ourselves but I think weight is something everyone should think about controlling.
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But I digress. OP - If she was the same size and had the same eating habits when you met, then what you are effectively saying is that you want her to change. That is not really a strong starting point for a relationship.

However, if it does concern you a lot - I would just be honest with her about it. No need to be rude or mean, just tell her how you feel. Lets face it, if you cant be honest with each other then you have foundations of quicksand.

Yes, it may hurt her feelings - but she needs to know how and why you feel the way you do. Accept that this relationship may not be right and you may go your separate ways.

Holding onto this paints you as someone who is a little insecure yourself. If it is not right, it is not right. Tell her why you think so - if it does not change anything then you are not meant to be. Move on.

Otherwise you will get stuck in a rut with someone you are not attracted to, but through tragic irony you will not tell her something to save hurting her feelings and yet by not doing so you are allowing her to hurt herself far more in the long term and all the time you are unhappy and resentful of your own weakness in confronting this issue. At some point, something will give. Best to get out sooner rather than later.

If she is genuinely happy in her own skin and there are no underlying problems with depression and insecurity that you could both work on, then I think it is you who needs to make the change. You need to move on because clearly this woman is not right for you and never will be.
 
arknor said:
theres no point changing to healthy food if she will just eat as many calories of healthy food as she does unhealthy food which is the mistake most people make.

it's healthy = you can eat as much as you like and not get fat
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On the contrary, we keep weight on because we're overeating refined sugar, processed food and general junk that our bodies can't get rid of.

I was teetering on being overweight - I lost it all through removing gluten, sugar, processed foods, drinks other than water etc etc.

I now eat around 3000 good calories a day (trying to bulk up to lift), and I struggle to put on any weight. There is a difference in quality of calories. If she's eating the same calories a day in broccoli and salad, do you really think she's putting on weight?
 
Outline said:
If she's eating the same calories a day in broccoli and salad, do you really think she's putting on weight?
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Yes, if she's not then she's a miracle of physics.
This is assuming you could reach the amount of kcals needed to gain weight on broccoli and salad alone which would be near impossible.
 
tom_e said:
Yes, if she's not then she's a miracle of physics.
This is assuming you could reach the amount of kcals needed to gain weight on broccoli and salad alone which would be near impossible.
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Is she though, these threads always confuse me as there seems to be two clearly different camps and I'm never sure which is correct.

So here is a theoretical question for anyone with the knowledge to take it on.

Tom and Bob sit still in a chair for a day and expend the exact same amount of energy. Tom eats 3000kcal in ice cream while Bob eats 3000kcal in just plain double cream. Who puts on the most weight in pure fat?

It seems some people would say Tom would put on more fat because of the sugars and carb content. Whereas some seem to say it should be exactly the same.

Genuinely interested to hear from anyone with more knowledge then I. :)
 
BrightonBelle said:
Most women know if they are overweight.

I got close to a 14 once and my friend said to me 'if you hadn't started going back to the gym I was going to say something to you'.

Fortunately my tight 'fat' jeans had said enough.

Can you speak to her mum? Sometimes mums can get away with saying stuff like that.

BB x
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how would i approach it with her mum? :confused:

they are very close, she isnt on the larger side.

just say im worried about her beause of how shes eating but feel uncomfortable talking to her directly??
 
4T5 said:
You are ****** basically, You say she is a 16 - 18 dress size but that's her Single woman weight, Her in a relationship weight will be a fair bit more & because she is already a 16 there's not a lot to look forward to.
Up to you if you want to stay with a BBW for the rest of your life & watch her become more & more immobile until she finally dies an early death due to heart trouble.
I think it's down to you to make a choice rather than trying to change another person. :)
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This. When I meet my wife she was a size 6 now 16 years and few kids later shes a size 10ish so the relationship will increase the size :D
 
Locky said:
This. When I meet my wife she was a size 6 now 16 years and few kids later shes a size 10ish so the relationship will increase the size :D
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I have been married 17 years and my wife is the same size today as she was 17 years ago, so I think it depends on the individual.
 
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