Poll: As a third party, is it okay to cheat?

As person C, is it okay to sleep with person A?

  • Hell yes!

    Votes: 81 17.6%

  • No, it's wrong.

    Votes: 291 63.4%

  • Pancake.

    Votes: 87 19.0%
  • Total voters
    459
glen8 said:
I do actually know of a woman who cheated on her husband with a bloke from work

The wife became ill and the husband basically treated her so badly she wanted out. The relationship was almost at breaking point.

She cheated, the relationship broke down, got divorced and married the other guy. The now ex-husband got out of the relationship he didn't want, she got out and married the man of her dreams, everyone was happy. She now has two children, something the first husband didn't want.

The three of them are now friends

Thoughts?
Click to expand...
Pathetic. Too chicken to end it the right way, so ended it by doing the dirty :confused:

It sounds like they're friends now, so why not agree to split amicably?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
glen8 said:
I do actually know of a woman who cheated on her husband with a bloke from work

The wife became ill and the husband basically treated her so badly she wanted out. The relationship was almost at breaking point.

She cheated, the relationship broke down, got divorced and married the other guy. The now ex-husband got out of the relationship he didn't want, she got out and married the man of her dreams, everyone was happy. She now has two children, something the first husband didn't want.

The three of them are now friends

Thoughts?
Click to expand...

Thoughts are she is still a sly cow for cheating and the ex-husband should have ended the relationship sooner if that's what he wanted.

Doesn't really sound like they had a good relationship to begin with, but it's no excuse to cheat.
 
glen8 said:
I do actually know of a woman who cheated on her husband with a bloke from work

The wife became ill and the husband basically treated her so badly she wanted out. The relationship was almost at breaking point.

She cheated, the relationship broke down, got divorced and married the other guy. The now ex-husband got out of the relationship he didn't want, she got out and married the man of her dreams, everyone was happy. She now has two children, something the first husband didn't want.

The three of them are now friends

Thoughts?
Click to expand...

Cheating is a red herring here. If the relationship was dead they should have had the courage and respect to be honest with each other.
 
glen8 said:
I do actually know of a woman who cheated on her husband with a bloke from work

The wife became ill and the husband basically treated her so badly she wanted out. The relationship was almost at breaking point.

She cheated, the relationship broke down, got divorced and married the other guy. The now ex-husband got out of the relationship he didn't want, she got out and married the man of her dreams, everyone was happy. She now has two children, something the first husband didn't want.

The three of them are now friends

Thoughts?
Click to expand...

Just because it turned out alright does not mean that cheating was right in the first place.

I've been person C before (Ie A wanted to sleep with me) and I didn't know B.

I refused to sleep with her though as it just felt wrong.

She dumped him to go out with me though, but that's another story for another thread, if I can be bothered, which I can't.
 
The worst thing with glen's scenario here is that she will probably believe that the end justified the means.

That potentially leaves her believing that in the right circumstances it's OK to cheat.
 
A is in a relationship C isn't. C can plough on ahead as far as I'm concerned if A is willing. C carries no blame unless C has actively chased A.

I don't understand any of the rest of the nonsense 'C is facilitating or C should say no'

C is single, the status of A&B's relationship is of no consequence to C. If A shows interest in C then 'game on'

B equally has no argument with C, assuming C has not been the instigator.
 
and what? - we were discussing a particular scenario where you claimed cheating was a red herring and the person should have had courage and respect - are you not aware that some women in abusive relationships find it hard to end them?
 
dowie said:
and what? - we were discussing a particular scenario where you claimed cheating was a red herring and the person should have had courage and respect - are you not aware that some women in abusive relationships find it hard to end them?
Click to expand...

But the OP made no suggestion it was an abusive relationship.
 
Burnsy2023 said:
But the OP made no suggestion it was an abusive relationship.
Click to expand...

yeah the OP was rather generic and a poster gave a specific situation... so what? It is that situation that you chose to refer to so what does the generic nature of the OP have to do with anything?
 
To be person C you have to act knowing that your actions may cause deep emotional pain from person B, so I think it's impossible to say it isn't somewhat immoral in almost every conceivable circumstance.

That said, the extent of the culpability of C does depend a lot on the facts. I know a person C who has since married person A and had kids with them - so in the grand scheme of things it's not really so bad.

It's all nice to have fairy tale ideals but the reality is people are flawed and life is complicated. On paper Walter White is a terrible man in Breaking Bad but I'm sure most people sympathise with his cause (I was actually rooting for him).

There are few rules of thumbs though. If person A and C are doing the dirty for an extended period of time behind B's back, then on face value I'd say that's worse than a one night stand. Also, to a limited extent it's less reprehensible if person B doesn't find out and it's of no consequence - but on the other it's worse deliberately acting on the sneak!

I also think overlap periods are common. I've never had one, but I think the need to formally announce the end of your relationship is odd. As if, somehow if you call someone and say it's over and have sex with someone, that's less bad than having sex and then calling person B. It was over before sex or the call.

Finally - if you are person C, person B almost certainly has the right to deploy the can of whup ass. So also person Cs bear that in mind!
 
Life is shades or grey so it does depend on the circumstances to some extent. However in the vast majority of cases it's simply wrong.
 
For the first time, I've had to vote pancake because it depends on the relationship between A and B. I generally believe that it is wrong if C is aware of the relationship, but how wrong is up for debate depending on the length and seriousness of the relationship.
 
Burnsy2023 said:
That's not quite the question though. We know person C isn't cheating, but does that mean it's ok?
Click to expand...

I think it entirely depends on the instigator.

If A Instigates it without C knowing then C is not at fault. If C knows and A instigates it they are at fault. As C i would proceed to B and inform them of what has occurred. As A is clearly bit easy and B is the real victim here.
 
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