Asking someone where they are from

This sort of thing just annoys the hell out of me. Everyone knows that when someone asks you "where are you from" they are asking you "what is your cultural heritage".

In almost every way they simply want to know your ancestry. They are not saying "you don't belong" or "you shouldn't be here" or any other nasty thing, they are just interested in where your family came from originally. If you ask this question to Americans they will be excited to tell you that their grandparents were Irish but originally from Poland etc etc.

The woman in question clearly does not identify with the british part of her heritage and is dressed in a way that suggests she identifies more with another culture. Trying to find out what that is isn't rude.

From the transcript (which I assume was remembered) both of them were being somewhat obstinate and she finally gave the answer to the question that was quite apparent from the start.

I am half Irish and if someone said "where are you from" I would say England but my mum is Irish.
 
fez said:
This sort of thing just annoys the hell out of me. Everyone knows that when someone asks you "where are you from" they are asking you "what is your cultural heritage".

In almost every way they simply want to know your ancestry. They are not saying "you don't belong" or "you shouldn't be here" or any other nasty thing, they are just interested in where your family came from originally. If you ask this question to Americans they will be excited to tell you that their grandparents were Irish but originally from Poland etc etc.

The woman in question clearly does not identify with the british part of her heritage and is dressed in a way that suggests she identifies more with another culture. Trying to find out what that is isn't rude.

From the transcript (which I assume was remembered) both of them were being somewhat obstinate and she finally gave the answer to the question that was quite apparent from the start.

I am half Irish and if someone said "where are you from" I would say England but my mum is Irish.
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Good for you.

What if the lady in question considers herself from the UK/British? She already answered, and that should be the end of it.

If someone asked me where I as from, i would say England/I'm English. I wouldn't expect to be repeatedly asked until I gave in and said most of my family were from Wales at one point.

Maybe everyone should be pestered into going onto ancestry.co.uk and finding out all the different countries their ancestors may have come from? Where do you draw the line?


"Where are you really from" , is a pretty horrible thing to say in all honesty
 
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fez said:
The woman in question clearly does not identify with the british part of her heritage and is dressed in a way that suggests she identifies more with another culture.
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Many women from different cultures dress in Western clothing and traditional clothing interchangeably day to day. Depends on their mood and/or the occasion they are going to. Doesn't mean she doesn't identify with the British part of her heritage per se.
 
M1k3H said:
As a foreigner, I have never been bothered when asked where I'm originally from, in fact I know it's a 'sensitive' subject sometimes, however the way it's been asked '.. Really from..' plus asking so many times... Suggests to me that there were other motives behind the question.
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Thats because if someone asks you where you are from and your heritage is clearly not what you say it is they will probably push because you are being wilfully evasive. Either that or they will think you are being bloody minded and think you are a bit of a wally but leave it at that.

Most people are just interested or they wouldn't ask. Its quite clear in some cases that you are not from the UK if you back a few generations. People just want to know because its interesting and perhaps something they can talk to you about.
 
Tony Edwards said:
WTAF?

Seriously. What is wrong with some of you people?
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If you read her stuff on social media/website she is certainly capable of being eloquent and fairly knowledgable about her heritage compared to that exchange which does raise my eyebrows a bit. Though again without being present it is difficult to know the demeanour of the conversation.

EDIT: Again don't know the context but the palace does a lot of research into people they are dealing with - it is possible someone got the impression she liked to talk about her heritage from her online presence so asking the question was encouraged.
 
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M1k3H said:
As a foreigner, I have never been bothered when asked where I'm originally from, in fact I know it's a 'sensitive' subject sometimes, however the way it's been asked '.. Really from..' plus asking so many times... Suggests to me that there were other motives behind the question.
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But she isnt a foreigner.
 
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fez said:
Thats because if someone asks you where you are from and your heritage is clearly not what you say it is they will probably push because you are being wilfully evasive. Either that or they will think you are being bloody minded and think you are a bit of a wally but leave it at that.

Most people are just interested or they wouldn't ask. Its quite clear in some cases that you are not from the UK if you back a few generations. People just want to know because its interesting and perhaps something they can talk to you about.
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The problem is the "where are you really from"

That implies that she doesn't consider her to really be British/from the UK.

Its insensitive at very best.
 
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Rroff said:
If you read her stuff on social media/website she is certainly capable of being eloquent and fairly knowledgable about her heritage compared to that exchange which does raise my eyebrows a bit. Though again without being present it is difficult to know the demeanour of the conversation.
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Ok, then why wasn't she asked where her ancestors came from then?

She was asked where she was "really from"

She is from Britain.
 
Jono8 said:
Good for you.

What if the lady in question considers herself from the UK/British? She already answered, and that should be the end of it.
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Thats not the question. I can consider myself whatever I want but the question is clearly "what is your heritage". Its not, "do you consider yourself british".

Jono8 said:
Maybe everyone should be pestered into going onto ancestry.co.uk and finding out all the different countries their ancestors may have come from? Where do you draw the line?


"Where are you really from" , is a pretty horrible thing to say in all honesty
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You're just being silly now. If she doesn't know they she doesn't know... but she does know. She was just being difficult.

How is it horrible. Old person in not being 100% tactful shocker. I wouldn't be the least bit offended if I was born in a country where historically it was 100% black and someone said "where are you really from" after I said "I was born here". I would unsurprisingly realise that perhaps they wanted to know where my family was from and I would tell them. Mainly because I am not offended by the idea of someone being interested in my heritage.

How on earth people go through life without being bloody miserable at all the "micro aggressions" against them if this is the sort of question that riles them up.
 
Jono8 said:
Ok, then why wasn't she asked where her ancestors came from then?

She was asked where she was "really from"

She is from Britain.
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So what exactly do you think she was trying to say when she said "where are you really from" because clearly it was very rude and insinuation something other than the fact she clearly has family roots outside of the UK.
 
I've been asked this a few times myself and I just double down. "Where am I from? Bristol.... Oh where I'm really from? The birth unit in Southmead hospital like nearly everyone else in Bristol"

If you're curious about my heritage, ask that. As asking where I am from will only get you the answer that I'm from the UK.
 
Junglist said:
I've been asked this a few times myself and I just double down. "Where am I from? Bristol.... Oh where I'm really from? The birth unit in Southmead hospital like nearly everyone else in Bristol"

If you're curious about my heritage, ask that. As asking where I am from will only get you the answer that I'm from the UK.
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Serious question. I assume you know what they are trying to ask so why wouldn't you just say. Seems a strange thing to wilfully misinterpret. Is it because you find it particularly rude or that you feel its a nasty question?
 
Junglist said:
I've been asked this a few times myself and I just double down. "Where am I from? Bristol.... Oh where I'm really from? The birth unit in Southmead hospital like nearly everyone else in Bristol"

If you're curious about my heritage, ask that. As asking where I am from will only get you the answer that I'm from the UK.
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Yes, that's how I see it. I don't ask people where they are from as such, I ask about their heritage, parentage etc. I don't want to know if they're from Rhyl or Kidderminster.
 
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She answered the question the first time it was asked.

Asking twice or three times borders on harassment. Asking "where are you REALLY from" is daft given she answered first time round - she said she was from Britain. That should have been the end of it.

Effectively asking "why are you black" or "explain the source of your black skin pigmentation" - at what point are non white British people considered British enough to not be asked "where are you REALLY from?"
 
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fez said:
Serious question. I assume you know what they are trying to ask so why wouldn't you just say. Seems a strange thing to wilfully misinterpret. Is it because you find it particularly rude or that you feel its a nasty question?
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Because I am from the UK and consider myself a UK citizen. Asking "where I'm really from" comes across as if I'm not of this country. It's just tactless and needless. If you're really interested in my family heritage then ask that. Don't ask where I'm 'really' from because shockingly enough, I'm *really* from the UK.
 
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