Fair enough. I know from personal experience that my mum is scared of being accused of being racist so she quite often says things that are not considered PC nowadays but were at one point the "nice way" of saying thing. I tend to try and take things the older generation say in a positive light unless its clear they are trying to be nasty.
Asking someone where they are from
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Fair enough. I know from personal experience that my mum is scared of being accused of being racist so she quite often says things that are not considered PC nowadays but were at one point the "nice way" of saying thing. I tend to try and take things the older generation say in a positive light unless its clear they are trying to be nasty.
This is where it gets a bit complicated;
"She said that members of the Royal Household were circulating at the reception and making "chit chat" - but she said it became a "really unpleasant interaction", when despite Ms Fulani's replies there was an insistent questioning about her background."
The Royal Household does a ton of research about the people they are interacting with and as before if you look up Fulani online she appears eager to talk about her heritage - it may be simply a clumsy/misunderstanding in an attempt to engage her on that subject or it could be a need for better training or someone being a jerk - without seeing the conversation in person/video it is difficult to gauge what the actual intentions were - this was a semi-formal engagement not just a passing conversation.
That does seem quite insensitive especially the middle bit.
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So after all this, where is Fulani really from? 
Could be worse, my old form master usually asked foreign looking people he disliked, "Do you know where you might be from?"
One of my faux pas that I was reminded about only the other month was that I met a sister of a friend of mine at Oulton Park, not having seen her for a couple of years. I disliked the woman with something of a passion. She was very obviously pregnant and I said that I didn't know she'd married. She told me she wasn't married, so I asked who the father was. She said it's one of the marshals. I couldn't resist asking if she might recall which one. Apparently she was all but sticking pins in an effigy of me for weeks afterwards
The more foreigners and "people of colour" demand in the way of others walking on eggshells in their conversation, suddenly deciding long standing descriptions that no one saw as offensive need to be struck from the white man's vocabulary, the more radical and ridiculous their next demands will become. Stand your ground and don't let them change our language on a politically correct whim to hold the whip hand and dominate our dictionaries.
Could be worse, my old form master usually asked foreign looking people he disliked, "Do you know where you might be from?"One of my faux pas that I was reminded about only the other month was that I met a sister of a friend of mine at Oulton Park, not having seen her for a couple of years. I disliked the woman with something of a passion. She was very obviously pregnant and I said that I didn't know she'd married. She told me she wasn't married, so I asked who the father was. She said it's one of the marshals. I couldn't resist asking if she might recall which one. Apparently she was all but sticking pins in an effigy of me for weeks afterwards
The more foreigners and "people of colour" demand in the way of others walking on eggshells in their conversation, suddenly deciding long standing descriptions that no one saw as offensive need to be struck from the white man's vocabulary, the more radical and ridiculous their next demands will become. Stand your ground and don't let them change our language on a politically correct whim to hold the whip hand and dominate our dictionaries.
How does the person asking not know she isn't simply "British"
What is the cut off on whether you can be considered "really from" Britain, or actually from somewhere else?
I (like many others) am probably "really from" Rome, France or Norway. Who the **** knows.
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It's a total minefield. If someone has a thick accent then it shouldn't be offensive to ask where they're from. Whether it be the next town, up north, Ireland or eastern Europe. (I'm not saying the woman in question had a strong accent blah blah blah pleasedontcancelme)
It shouldn't be different. If someone has a strong accent I think you should be able to ask where it's come from. How you tactfully do that is another story...
Yeah see if it's a British accent then it's not offensive to ask where were you born. If it's a Caribbean accent (for example) then g'luck not getting cancelled
It shouldn't be different. If someone has a strong accent I think you should be able to ask where it's come from. How you tactfully do that is another story...Oh God, don't start with the Americans. They're absolutely obsessed with their heritage (or lack of). "Yeah I'm from San Francisco but I was born in Texas, I'm half-Irish on my mother's side and my Dad's grandmother was English. I loooooove London"
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I've no idea how that conversation went but I have experience of how the conversation goes when it happens to me.
Ultimately words have meanings, if you ask a sensible question such as "So what is your families heritage?" you'll get a sensible response. If you decide to ask a silly question like "no, no, where are you really from" then you deserve to get silly responses.
If I am white in Jamaica I cannot trace my heritage in Jamaica back generations in all likelihood. The UK is the same for non-white people. Even someone with very tanned skin is probably not of boring 100% british stock. Its usually pretty clear from facial features or skin colour whether someone is not native to an area.
"Hey, cool accent, where is it from?"
It's really not that difficult. Now if you make an assumption on their accent and get it wildly wrong, that may cause offence. I'm forever thinking Australians and those from New Zealand sound alike and I've had egg on my face a few times.
Oh christ, I give up. You know and I know what I mean. You're just being obnoxious. Very few people are 100% from anywhere through and through. You know exactly what I mean though.
This is where I struggle. I just wouldn't be offended. I've had people mistake my accent. Say I look scandinavian. Ask why my skin is so pale. I just don't understand getting offended at someone being a little brash or ignorant or whatever else. If they are being nasty its pretty obvious and I just think "what a *****" and get on with my day.
Oh God, don't start with the Americans. They're absolutely obsessed with their heritage (or lack of). "Yeah I'm from San Francisco but I was born in Texas, I'm half-Irish on my mother's side and my Dad's grandmother was English. I loooooove London"
Yeah, the Americans are desperate for a cultural identity (unless its english of course
).On the plus side you rarely get a chance to ask an American "where are you really from" because they will already have given you an exhaustive genealogy map with citations.
You'd expect better from someone trained in catering but personally I've had instances before where misunderstandings in conversation have stumbled into awkward phrases. Though the more extended transcript linked above appears largely insensitive if it is accurate.
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I've had this many times, I still get them now and again.
It's not out of malice but it can get quite tedious. It's normally seen as like a conversation starter, they want to talk about your background. The problem is if someone says they don't know, they don't know.
I have no idea beyond where i was born, my parents don't keep a family tree and i haven't taken 23 and me. If I tell you I don't know, then i don't know.
It's not out of malice but it can get quite tedious. It's normally seen as like a conversation starter, they want to talk about your background. The problem is if someone says they don't know, they don't know.
I have no idea beyond where i was born, my parents don't keep a family tree and i haven't taken 23 and me. If I tell you I don't know, then i don't know.
That's fine. You don't need to be offended as likely when someone is asking where you're from they probably mean regionally. It can become rather annoying to say where you're literally from and be hit with a "no but where are you really from".
Of course not every single person who asks the latter question is saying it with malice and perhaps they genuinely are curious about your ancestry but the question, whether intentional or not, has a way of making you feel like your an idiot for thinking you were from where you're born.
Bingo. Usually close after you get hit with a "wow, your English is great"
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You've come to the right place.
Where did you come from to arrive here?
No, where did he REALLY come from.
Oh ****, i assumed their gender.