Bad news for us single blokes.

Mohinder said:
I knew a guy once who could do that.

I told him to go **** himself.
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Groan :p

Edit: Not just the quoted post - there really are some shockingly bad puns in here guys. You're starting to rub me up the wrong way.

Stan :)
 
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SB118 said:
I find getting straight back to sleep does the job for me :D
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works for me too... the missus is never too please though. At least I can show her the article and have a scientific excuse for sleeping:D
 
Behemoth said:
:D I'm surprised half of us guys aren't blind by now . . .
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who said that??? where are u ? come closer :)

hhehehehehe 5 times in 10 minutes is impressive ... and usefull if your going to a fancy dress costume and help walking like a cowboy :D
 
LordSplodge said:
Is bad sex better than a good Sherman Tank then?

As a married man I can either have bad sex or a good **** and I need to know what is best! ;) :D
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Simple, get the wife to do it for ya ;)
 
SB118 said:
Simple, get the wife to do it for ya ;)
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So it would go like this then?

Zip. Swish, swish, swish, swish..."You done yet?"...swish, swish, swish..."Are you going to sort that door out?"...swish, swish, swish, swish..."Your mother in law is coming round on Sunday"...swish, swish, BLAAAATTTT,BLAAT,BLAT!..."Errrggghhh all over my new jeans and my hands". Zip. :eek: :p

Probably better if I do it myself or get the neighbour round. ;)
 
THE RANGE OF 8 INCHES LONG.

THE FUNCTIONING OF WHICH IS ENJOYED BY MEMBERS OF BOTH SEXES.

IS USUALLY FOUND HUNG, DANGLING READY LOOSLEY FOR INSTANT ACTION.

IT BOASTS OF A CLUMP OF LITTLE HAIRY THINGS AT ONE END AND SMALL HOLE AT THE OTHER.

IN USE, IT IS INSERTED, ALMOST ALWAYS WILLINGLY, SOMETIMES SLOWLY, SOMETIMES QUICKLY, INTO A WARM, FLESHY, MOIST OPENING WHERE IT IS THRUST IN AND DRAWN OUT AGAIN AND AGAIN MANY TIMES IN SUCCESSION, OFTEN QUICKLY AND ACCOMPANIED BY QUIRMING BODILY MOVEMENTS.

ANYONE FOUND LISTENING IN WILL MOST SURELY RECOGNIZE THE RHYTHMIC, PULSING SOUND, RESULTING FROM THE WELL LUBRICATED MOVEMENTS.

WHEN FINALLY WITHDRAWN, IT LEAVES BEHIND A JUICY, FROTHY, WHITE STICKY SUBSTANCE, SOME OF WHICH WILL NEED CLEANING FROM THE OUTER SURFACES OF THE OPENING AND
SOME OF FROM ITS LONG GLISTENING SHAFT.

AFTER EVERYTHING IS DONE AND THE FLOWING AND CLEANSING LIQUIDS HAVE CEASED EMANATING, IT IS RETURNED TO ITS FREELY HANGING STATE OF REST, READY YET FOR ANOTHER BIT OF ACTION, HOPEFULLY REACHING ITS BRISTLING CLIMAX TWICE OR THREE TIMES A DAY, BUT OFTEN MUCH LESS.


WHAT AM I???????

AS YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY GUESSED, THE ANSWER ! TO THE RIDDLE IS NONE OTHER THAN YOUR VERY OWN..........
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

TOOTHBRUSH.........

what were you thinking? You PERVERT!
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