Being a gamer and a dad

[KraniX]

I have two girls, aged 4 and 1.

The Switch is the best thing that happened in gaming for me, being able to pick up and play console quality games in bed or anywhere else and not be tied to a console in the living room allowed me to play a lot more.

Also, I used to take it to work so I could have a play on the train now and again.

Yes you need to do the Dad stuff and have time for the missus etc. but you also need time for you.

Gaming is my hobby, I love it, and if I don't get time to do it then I'm not happy and that impacts the people around me. Some might not understand but hopefully everyone has something that they are passionate about and just because you have kids it doesn't mean you shouldn't keep doing the stuff you like.

It might mean you just have to plan it in, and choose more carefully the games you play, I went through a phase of playing a lot shorter games like Journey, Firewatch etc. as I got fed up of never finishing anything!

 

[Kreeeee]

Kids and gaming eh, you are missing one vital element here, the missus. Having children does all sorts of things to womens emotions and mental health, you need to be supporting her when you can too and not just sneaking off to game when you can.
PND can take a while to begin but it is very real and awful to watch so I would let gaming slide for a while, I have three daughters with the eldest being 9 now and to be honest I havent looked back as I realised computers have a place but games etc are not the end of the world and you actually look forward to the odd hour here and there rather than every night.There may be no tangible difference for some people but later down the line your relationship may thank you for it.

At the same time not every woman finds it difficult after childbirth, so don't jump the gun and sacrifice your hobbies preemptively.

Gaming is my hobby, I love it, and if I don't get time to do it then I'm not happy and that impacts the people around me. Some might not understand but hopefully everyone has something that they are passionate about and just because you have kids it doesn't mean you shouldn't keep doing the stuff you like.

I need to get out on the bike at least once a week in summer or I'm like a lion in a cage.

 

[shorttricky]

It might mean you just have to plan it in, and choose more carefully the games you play, I went through a phase of playing a lot shorter games like Journey, Firewatch etc. as I got fed up of never finishing anything!

I did pretty much the same when mine were younger. Gave up on anything multiplayer (literally no point in even trying ). Played a bunch of little indie games, turn-based RPGs or sports games (MLB: The Show was a life-saver). All stuff that you could play in small bursts and could pause easily.

 

[RaMDOM]

Turn based strategies are your friend when you become a Dad.

 

[Relentless81]

My son is nearly 2, first few months I didnt game much at all but after that and up until now I game when he sleeps, so I get an hour on a Saturday and Sunday in the day time if I dont have man jobs to do and weekdays between 7:30 and 9:30, then I watch TV with the wife for an hour or two

Its going to be a lot more difficult soon as I'm losing my mancave as moving house and will have to find somehwere for my PC downstairs, I've considered all sorts, quitting PC gaming and going console, downsizing to ITX and finding some space for a small desk, I dont think I could handle not having a gaming PC so I'll see how it goes once we move and if I miss it as much as I think I will as I'll have loads of decorating etc to do for a few months first

 

[mattf]

My kids are 3 and 6, having them has really curtailed the time I have for gaming. I don’t mind one bit as they are great. I am lucky if I get an hour a week to play at the moment

 

[chroniclard]

My kids are 3 and 6, having them has really curtailed the time I have for gaming. I don’t mind one bit as they are great. I am lucky if I get an hour a week to play at the moment

Bed at 7, you got all night!

 

[Andybtsn]

My kids are 3 and 6, having them has really curtailed the time I have for gaming. I don’t mind one bit as they are great. I am lucky if I get an hour a week to play at the moment

What time do they go to sleep? As above, surely they're asleep by 7? Of course I am assuming you do sociable working hours! They are both the same ages as my two

 

[SiDeards73]

My 2 boys are 6 and 9, the boys and i share an Xbox One (im about to buy an Xbox one X for myself and let them have the 1 lol) as a rule, i dont play on my PC or Xbox at weekends as thats exclusively family time, and mon - fri i only fire up the PC or the Xbox once the kids go to bed around 8pm. Wife generally watches her programmes on TV and i'll either fire up my PC and play some ARPG's or MMO's, or fire up the Xbox connected to my PC monitor.

When the kids were young i would hardly have any time to game, as my kids have aged, we decided 2 years ago to buy them an Xbox for Crimbo, they are only allowed to play Lego games mainly, or a bit of Forza or Fifa, and occasionally Star Wars Battlefront. They are only allowed Xbox on a Saturday or Sunday, once a week for at most 2 hours, they both have Kindle Fire's and access to mine and the wifes laptops, lately they have been playing some School of Dragons game based on the How to train your Dragon films instead of their Xbox time, its quite funny, as my eldest has seen me play ESO or WoW and knows that his School of Dragons game is a similar game model (MMORPG). They have both asked to play Fortnite because school friends play it, we have declined this request currently as i just dont trust people on voice comms, my kids are not being exposed to the general gamer vocals at their ages, aint happening lol. Im digressing i apologise.

Back to your original question, its just a balance act really, find a common ground with the missus, she may even want to play co-op stuff with you ive tried to get my wife to play Fifa and Diablo 3 but she is not a gamer, so is not interested.

 

[Andybtsn]

. They have both asked to play Fortnite because school friends play it, we have declined this request currently as i just dont trust people on voice comms, my kids are not being exposed to the general gamer vocals at their ages, aint happening lol. Im digressing i apologise.

How do you turn off voice chat in Fortnite: Battle Royale?
Open the Settings menu in the top right of the main Fortnite page by selecting the three bars, then the cog icon. Choose the Audio tab at the top of the screen. From there, you can adjust several audio features, including voice chat. Turn the setting from on to off by tapping the arrows.

 

[Mujja]

I had to swap the gaming PC for a console.

Didn't have the time to spend tweaking game settings, updating drivers and overclocking for the extra performance. Needing something I could just turn on and play.

Also needed to change the types of games I played, had to be something I can jump in and out of whenever I had a spare hour or two.

Now the kids are older the consoles are easier to support. And not much goes wrong with the Windows devices if they aren't being used for gaming.

 

[SiDeards73]

Thanks for the tips, however the wife read multiple sources of stories of kids being groomed by weirdos on Fortnite, so my kids wont ever be allowed to play it.

In all honesty i know this happens or can happen on any game, Fortnite just happens to be the current FOTM game for parents to rage against, she is fully on the bandwagon. She grew up in the Caribbean and they didnt sit around playing Consoles, they went outside in the sun and on the beach etc, so she finds it hard to understand that times have changed and kids socialise now via tech.

So i just try and keep her and them happy, but it does worry me that they are easily able to be subjected to vulgar language and morons on voice comms on gaming, and lets be honest, its fairly common now.

 

[mel d]

I have a pc and ps4 in (dads) corner of front room, so i play mostly when they go to bed plus Mrs is happy i'm away from tv remote.

 

[Kreeeee]

Thanks for the tips, however the wife read multiple sources of stories of kids being groomed by weirdos on Fortnite, so my kids wont ever be allowed to play it.

In all honesty i know this happens or can happen on any game, Fortnite just happens to be the current FOTM game for parents to rage against, she is fully on the bandwagon. She grew up in the Caribbean and they didnt sit around playing Consoles, they went outside in the sun and on the beach etc, so she finds it hard to understand that times have changed and kids socialise now via tech.

So i just try and keep her and them happy, but it does worry me that they are easily able to be subjected to vulgar language and morons on voice comms on gaming, and lets be honest, its fairly common now.

On the XBox you just setup parental controls on their account and block all communication.

 

[mattf]

What time do they go to sleep? As above, surely they're asleep by 7? Of course I am assuming you do sociable working hours! They are both the same ages as my two

Bed at 8-9, problem is I am up at 5am each day so often I am asleep by 10-11

 

[DJ85]

My son is nearly 2, first few months I didnt game much at all but after that and up until now I game when he sleeps, so I get an hour on a Saturday and Sunday in the day time if I dont have man jobs to do and weekdays between 7:30 and 9:30, then I watch TV with the wife for an hour or two

Its going to be a lot more difficult soon as I'm losing my mancave as moving house and will have to find somehwere for my PC downstairs, I've considered all sorts, quitting PC gaming and going console, downsizing to ITX and finding some space for a small desk, I dont think I could handle not having a gaming PC so I'll see how it goes once we move and if I miss it as much as I think I will as I'll have loads of decorating etc to do for a few months first

Aaaaah! I remember when I used to have a man cave! Now a little man cave! Pc Has been moved through to our bedroom. Was in the living room on our 55” 4K tv But never got time to use it so hence the man cave. Then the little man started over running the house with toys so now it’s his cave........for now

Gave me an excuse to get a nice new monitor though!

 

[GamingDaddy]

Aaaaah! I remember when I used to have a man cave! Now a little man cave! Pc Has been moved through to our bedroom. Was in the living room on our 55” 4K tv But never got time to use it so hence the man cave. Then the little man started over running the house with toys so now it’s his cave........for now

Gave me an excuse to get a nice new monitor though!

I've just started selling off my gaming PC for the same reason

 

[Andybtsn]

Bed at 8-9, problem is I am up at 5am each day so often I am asleep by 10-11

Crikey, if mine go to bed that late we know about it the day after

 

[Musty Pie]

I have 2 children, both under 4.

Used to game a lot before the kids came along, but would never sacrifice time with the Misses even before the kids came along to do so.

Now I have the kids, all these things come first for me. As well as my health, so try to get some exercise in as a priority also.

Only usually get to sit and game Friday nights or occasionally in the week day evenings. for an hour or two tops before i burn out on it anyway.

 

[N0ddie]

I have an awesome wife. Once the kids (6 and 1.5) go to bed (7.45ish) I get to play with my toys nearly every night.