Best/Funniest Terrace Chants

My old mans got a second hand Sierra, wwoooaaahhh Pat Vieira

To spurs fans:

You won the league in black and white,
You won the league in black and white
You won the league in the sixties
You won the league in black and white

To Leeds fans:

Leeds and Leeds and Leeds and Leeds
Leeds and Leeds and Leeds and Leeds
Leeds and Leeds and Leeds
We all XXXXXXX hate Leeds

To Chelski fans:

You can shove the blue flag up your XXXX

As previously quoted:

Roy Keano, oooh, Roy Keano ooohh, for fifty thousand quid, he scores for Real Madrid!

Just a general comment:

Teddy Sheringham's a XXXXXXX XXXX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll post some more clean ones later on.
 
Coventry fans to Mick Quinn about 10yrs ago:

He's fat
He's round
He's worth a million pound!


A couple from St Marys:

When I was just a little boy
I asked my mother what shall I be?
Shall I be pompey? Shall I be Saints?
Here's what she said to me
...pause followed by a volume increase...
Wash yer mouth out son
You'll never be Pompey scum
Go get your fathers gun
and shoot the pompey scum
and support the Saints
We hate pompey, we hate pompey

and

We've got Brett Ormerod
We've got Brett Ormerod
We've got Brett Ormerod
We've got Brett Ormerod
(I found it amusing anyway)
 
One I heard from a mate who supports Sunderland that they were singing at an away cup game against a lower division side somewhere around here a couple years ago.

To the tune of "Oh when the saints":

My garden shed (My garden Shed)
Is bigger than this (Is bigger then this)
My garden shed is bigger then this
It's got a door and a window, my garden shed is bigger than this.

Still get sung randomly when we're out on the town occasionally, :p
 
To some West Ham young-burbs:

Does your mother, does your mother, does your mother know you're here!
Does your mother know you're here...

And then followed by :

Does your mother, does your mother, does your mother know your dad!
Does your mother know your dad...


Also, Reading fans sing this every now and then, on Beard day:

Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie, rub your beard all over my body :D
 
Most of these are toss. This ones a personal favourite:

Originally posted by steviec
I thought the chant to Rangers Fans at Old Trafford were quite ironic and I'm a Rangers Fan:

"Premier League your having a laugh"

What more do I need to say.
Click to expand...

Man U fans have always had the best chants, apart from the lower division clubs with the more hardcore football supporters.

These are a couple of good ones tho:

Yip Jaap Stam is a big dutch man,
get past him if you think you can,
try a little trick and he'll make you look a ****
Yip Jaap, Jaap Stam.

Tim Timininy Tim Timiny Tim Tim Ter-oo,
We've got Tim Howard and he'll say **** You!

He's Got a Pinapple on his head,
He's Got a Pinapple on his head,
He's Got a Pinapple on his head,
He's Got a Pinapple on his head, :D

Without any doubt,
We are the Manchester boys.
Kevin Keegan,
Can he fix it?
Kevin Keegan,
Can he ****!
Build a bonfire,
Build a bonfire,
Put the Scousers on the top,
Put City in the middle,
And we'll burn the ****ing lot.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'lllllllllll............
Drinka Drinka Drink to Eric the King the King the King,
Cos he's the leader of our football team,
He's the greatest Centre Forward that the world has ever seen,
(repeat)

Giggs,
Giggs'll tear you apart aa-gaing,
(repeat)

Cheer Up Kevin Keegan,
Oh what can it be to a **** Gordie Bas****,
and a **** Football team

Edited to add more:

Cities going down like a Russian Submarine,
A Russian Submarine,
A Russian Submarine,
There going down, going down, going down, going down

Oh Elland Road Is full of Sheep,
Elland Road is full of sheep,
its full of sheep, sheep and more sheep,
Oh Elland Road Is full of Sheep

Don't go out tonight unless your red and white,
cos i say theres trouble on the way,
I sing for Stretford End United, I say theres trouble on the way,
Don't go out tonight unless your red and white,
cos i say theres trouble on the way,

Take me home, United Road
To the place I belong
To Old Trafford, to see United
Take me home, United Road

...
 
Last edited:
Some sung to Ipswich over the last few years:-

"You only sing when you're ploughing, sing when you're ploughing..."

"You're just a small club in Norwich, small club in Norwich..." :rolleyes: :confused:

I remember when we were 1-0 at home to Arsenal we sang "No noise, from the Wenger boys, no noise, from the Wenger boys..." etc extremely satisfying. Although Bergkamp did later equalise. :(
 
i've always had a soft spot for this one,

if i had the wings of a sparrow,
if i had the arse of a crow,
I'd fly over cardiff tomorow
and **** on the ******** below,
**** on, **** on, **** on the ******** below below. repeat last line x 3.

With the garden shed one there are two other ones that i know of that we sing regularly when away,

my microwave,
is bigger than this,
my micorwave is bigger than this,
it's got a door and a window,
my microwave is bigger than this.

and

my rabbit hutch,
is bigger than this,
my rabbit hutch is bigger than this,
it's got a door and a rabbit,
my rabbit hutch is bigger than this.

another one i've always liked is,

Build a bonfire, Build a bonfire,
Put the Rovers on the top,
put the Cardiff in the middle,
and burn the ******* lot.

there are loads but i can't be bothered to type them out.
 
Generally heard on the terraces of the Victoria Ground, Hartlepool.

To 'Mary's Boy Child'

Hark now here, the Poolies sing,
The Darlo ran away.
And we will fight forever more,
because of boxing day.
(in honour of our 2 -1 win in 1997 iirc)

The Darlo end,
Is always full,
the Darlo end is always full.
Full of ***** , full of ****-heads full of tossers,
the Darlo end is always full.

To any Yorkshire club

You can shove yer Yorkshire puddin's up yer ass
You can shove yer Yorkshire puddin's up yer ass
You can shove yer Yorkshire puddin's
Shove yer Yorkshire puddin's
You can shove yer Yorkshire puddin's up yer ass!

To Carlisle or any rural sort of club.

Farmers on the dole,
Farmers on the dole,
Foot n mouth, foot 'n' mouth
Farmers on the dole

England v Paraguay - Anfield, April 2002

To the away fans

You must have come in a taxi, come in a taxi,
Come in a taaaaaaaaaaaaaaxxxxxxxiii
 
Sung by Aberdeen Fans

In your Glasgow Slums

you rake through the bucket for something to eat

you find a dead rat and think its a treat ,

in your glasgow slums

etc


Sung by Norwich City Fans

If I had the *** of a Crow Id fly over Ipswich tommorrow and **** on the ******** below below

goes on a bit with more swearing
 
Leeds have a similar one to that, but its got sparrow in it:

'If I had the wings of a sparrow, if I had the arse of a crow, I'd fly over trafford* tomorrow and **** on the ******** below...'

*its actually a 2-syllable word that first of which I'm not allowed to use directed at this certain club
 
Here's one I vaguely remember from the late 80s which used to get repeated by us kids to MU fans:

Maaaan United
Are short-sight-ed
Never scored a goal
In his-tor-y
Theeeeey wear glasses
On their arses
Tra-la-la-la-la
La la la la

Yes, we were easily amused at Junior school
 
'You only live round the corner! You only live round the corner!' <- at the Manchester Utd fans, who as we all know are predominantly Mancunians ;) :)

'The drugs are wearing off! The drugs are wearing off! Eeh Aye Adio the drugs are wearing off' <- at Rio when he was substituted on Sunday...doesn't make sense but seemed funny at the time.

Theres also a good one we used to sing at Lee Hughes when he played for the baggies about his wife (who is/was a lap dancer) but its a bit too offensive ;)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom