You keep saying that, but for what reason?
personal choice. ive owned many a car varying from saloon, hatchback to mini sized. I want something that I can climb into. its a psychological thing i guess. friends have had things like discos, my colleague has an x trail, I like the thought of climbing up into a car, being sat higher up.
Something on you list has to give to get a car within your budget:
e.g.
if you chuck out "Fuel economy"/Diesel then you have huge choice on SUV style vehicles - at 10k/year then having a petrol still isn't going to bankrupt you.
If said car was far more reliable than the diesel equivalent, I would be happy to sacrifice this. I am not however going to go for a big thirsty v8 - a straight four will be fine, I dont need power, smooth, refined drive is fine by me, as long as it can do motorway speed and get to 90 without screaming, I will be happy.
chuck out "Good "road presence" - sat higher on the road than a normal car" - and there are loads of estates (even with good fuel economy)
Wont have an estate. its not necessarily length of car or space that I need, (e.g. a 3 door Freelander would be fine, and these aren't much longer than a ford focus) but they tend to sit on big chunky tyres with raised suspension (well, raised in comparison to most cars)
realistically I wouldn't be chucking out "Fairly reliable or cheap-ish to maintain", but by forcing yourself into a low budget diesel 4x4, you aren't going to get it anyway.
Again, diesel isn't necessarily a priority, its a preference, but if a decent economy petrol (20-30mpg round the doors is fine) is available and is a safer bet for reliability and parts costs, then id be happy with that. (e.g. I know 1.8 freelanders are rubbish, engines are chocolate)
"Ability to handle terrible roads with ease - speed bumps and potholes no problem with no knocks or bangs" - unless you are looking at sports cars then most cars don't knock or band over speed bumps - avoid any large alloys with low profile tyres, and again a non issue for potholes with most cars - you don't need a "4x4" for this.
I dont tend to use LP tyres anymore, for example my corsa is sat on 185/55/15, and the ride quality is rubbish. I have poor roads in my area and numerous potholes and speedbumps on the work run, that I have to crawl over at 5mph if I want to keep a full set of teeth.
"Comfort on long journeys and in town" - As long as you aren't trying to squash into a supermini/city car, then comfort isn't an issue in most cars - a big wafty executive "barge" (a couple of which have already been suggested) will be more comfortable than "low-end" "4x4s".
