Bit of a pickle - women trouble....

Alty

Alty

Alty

Associate
Joined
23 Oct 2004
Posts
1,884
Location
East Riding of Yorkshire
OK before anyone judges me I realise I have brought this upon myself and have no-one else to blame. My simple story is thus:

I have been seeing a lass for nearly a year and its been ok. The major downfall is that there doesnt seem to be any "spark or magic" that there has been with previous relationships. I just seemed to have fallen into a routine with this lady and it plods along ok.

My main concern is this - when I finish uni this year I will be (hopefully) working and starting a career. Now my current gf works full time in the evenings. If we do stay together and go the distance - we will realistically only see each other at night in bed as I will be working 9-5 and she will be working 5-11.

Now here comes the interesting bit... I was registered on a date site and by chance looked it up and saw that I had a fair amount of messages from ladies. One in particular lives near me and is quite attractive and being an idiot that I am replied. We get on quite well and she has expressed a strong interest in meeting up. I haven't told her I am currently seeing someone (I know - i'm an idiot!) and I just dont know what to do. She sends me pics of her from her mobby and calls me a fair bit over the last few days and luckily enough I have managed to keep this from my current gf due to her working hours.

I do not know what to do. Do I meet up with this new lass this weekend and see how things go or what???

I am not a bad person really and am no way a player but I think my main concern with my current gf is whether it will last due to the potential different working hours - is there any point being with someone that you will only see in bed each night and on sundays???

I need some advice and opinions on this matter as it's really eating me up inside and I dont know what to do.

Do I stay with the gf of nearly a year even tho there is no spark and potentially I will see less of her once i start working?

or

Do I see this new lass and see if things could develop with her?

If i dont see this new lass - how do i tell her I dont want to see her without hurting her feelings?
 
she has told me tho that there are blokes out there already with a gf n they jus want a bit on the side with her n that she thinks they are scum! As a result I had already told her i was single!
 
If I was happy in my current relationship then I wouldnt even consider meeting another lass. It's been nearly a year now and altho I have feelings for her I cannot tell her I love her as it wouldnt be the truth

**EDIT** this has been something of an issue with my current gf as she keeps asking me if I love her and from the word go i told her this - "I will not say "i love you" until i know i mean it as the word love gets used too much in todays society and it loses it meaning"
 
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This is indeed the quandry because I do not believe in cheating! My parents divorced and I vowed never to do it. But i just dont know what to do - stick with a relationship that is just so so or possibly start a new one where there may be a spark.
 
I have been **** on in the past with regards to relationships and find it very difficult to open up to someone. It was 2 years of singledom before my current gf and I became an item. Now is it a case of better the devil you know or........
 
What also concerns me tho is if I stick it out with the "routine" of being with my current gf - the whole working issue is going to severly put a strain on the relationship as we will effectively hardly see each other :(
 
I too used the quoted philosophy with my wife at the start, but it wasn't too weeks before I was blubbing " I love you " to her. emotion takes over, if you don't say it after a few weeks, I would say move on.
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I have had real personal issues with opening up enough to someone to even try to say "i love you". I really dont think I could.
 
I know this sounds crazy but I'm glad I feel guilty about thinking about meeting up with this other woman. It tells me that there are some feelings there....
 
I think there have been some fair and valid points made so far - cheers guys. It's deffo food for thought.....
 
My mate uses the same site I did and I saw him last weekend. Needless to say he logged in and it was only by chance that I thought I would log into my old account to see what was going on - thats when an attractive lass takes an interest in me and I lose all coherent thought....
 
My current gf has also mentioned lately that I may be close to losing her if i dont buck my ideas up a bit - EG make more of an effort. We definitely have, it seems, fallen into a steady routine or rutt, as u will and so should I risk losing out on a potential new lady only to possibly have this relationship finished shortly down the line?
 
Amleto said:
@ Alty:: you having troubles finding the edit button? :p
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I am just posting things as I think of them - If i use the edit button then there is a chance that something may be overlooked and glanced over when trying to read the new posts.
 
Why do I let myself get into these stupid bloomin situations :(

**EDIT**

RECAP

am in a relationship of nearly a year with a lass but there is no spark and in the future is the possibility of only seeing her at night in bed and on sundays.

I stupidly checked my old date site messages and an attractive lass who lives nearby has taken a real interest and wants to meet up.

:( :( :(
 
Raymond Lin said:
Because you are not happy with your current girlfriend.
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I may not be over the moon with the current relationship but am content with it at the mo - however, with the future working hours looming over our head - where does that leave us?

**EDIT**

would you be happy in a relationship that consisted of only seein your partner in the evenings at bed and on sundays???
 
OK peeps - I have come to a decision!

I am going to talk to the current gf tomorrow about the future work hours etc and air my concerns to her n see what she thinks.
 
Deadly Ferret said:
What I do when I'm unhappy with a barmaid is offer her a transfer to another pub in the company on the grounds that things aren't working out, and then I find a better model. In your situation, the only difference is you found the replacement before you passed the ball.
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You may have hit the nail on the head!!!
 
had to post one more time cos i didnt want that last one to end it on number 666 :eek:
 
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