Blond joke time

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Soldato
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2 Blonds were walking through a Field.
As they were walking they came across some tracks. The 1st blond said "Look Wolf tracks" The other one said "No there not, they are Bear Tracks"
The 1st one then said "Lets follow them to find out who is right"
So they followed the tracks.


5 minutes later they were hit by a train :p :D
 
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A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde."

The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
 
PsiFox said:
A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde."

The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
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LOL! for a minuit there i thought it was going to be something along the lines of she kidnapped her own kid :p
 
Both suck and are older than time itself.

btw, the second one is an adaptation from the original joke.. which sucks more than the original leading me to believe it was a blonde who adapted it.
 
Dj_Jestar said:
Both suck and are older than time itself.

btw, the second one is an adaptation from the original joke.. which sucks more than the original leading me to believe it was a blonde who adapted it.
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post better then! :)
 
A blonde is driving down the M25 when her husband calls her on her mobile.

"Darling, I've just heard on the news, there's some nutter driving the wrong way down the motorway. Please be careful out there!".

She replies

"It's not just one, there's hundreds of 'em!"
 
couldnt be assed typing it out so i found it and quotued:

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.


The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.

Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'" The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?" The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. She'll read it very slow."
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Keith Vaz will be raising the issue of these jokes at parliament.
Nordic people are currently burning OCUK effigies in anger.
10000 blonde people are ringing the office of internet jokes to complain.

Oh wait.... blondes are white, no problem, carry on.
 
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