Boy thread (is that allowed?)!

Dinomania

Dinomania

Dinomania

Soldato
Joined
21 Apr 2003
Posts
4,328
OK, so... [WARNING if you don't like pathetic posts/threads, close now!]

I've just broken up with a boyfriend of 3 months, who I took about 3 weeks to get with after a boyfriend of 2 years, who himself I got with only about a month or so after a boyfriend of 3 years (!).

What can I say, I guess I work fast. I'm no stunner, no slapper, no chaser - but these things happen. Don't regret any of them.

Anyway, back to the point - for the first time in forever, I have a crush on someone! As opposed to someone nice just turning up at the right time. I've had a soft spot for this one since I met him really, but it became more of a crush in Jan/Feb when he popped up in a few dreams where he kissed me (while I was still with the ex-ex, whoops).

He's always been a mate, in our group we've gone out on the town together, drunk quiet pints together, he's often come into my (uni hall) room for a natter, and vice versa. I've had a sneaking suspicion he might like me from time to time, depends how confident I'm feeling...

I thought he was leaving town, so I found another boyfriend (the now ex, not because of this, though), but now it turns out now he'll be sticking around for 2 or 3 years!

He isn't back in town now for another two weeks, then it's off-and-on until uni term starts, I think. We're going to be living in the same house for a year - convenient but could be difficult if it goes wrong...

OK that's all the background (still with me? Good).



Now my question to all you lads is:

If you were him, and I was someone you maybe didn't think too hard about but probably wouldn't say no to, which of the following would you prefer?

A) Me coming straight out with it: "I fancy you, want to go out?"

B) Slowly but surely increasing my time around you, making the odd innuendo, getting close on the sofa when watching telly, getting to know you more and you me more... Until it gets to the point where a flirty comment or hug just tips it over the edge and it turns into kissing.



I'm leaning towards B, because I think it sounds dead romantic and hopefully tensions will be running so high that the kiss will be amazing...
...where's the blushing smiley when you need it...
 
sara said:
If you were him, and I was someone you maybe didn't think too hard about but probably wouldn't say no to, which of the following would you prefer?

A) Me coming straight out with it: "I fancy you, want to go out?"

B) Slowly but surely increasing my time around you, making the odd innuendo, getting close on the sofa when watching telly, getting to know you more and you me more... Until it gets to the point where a flirty comment or hug just tips it over the edge and it turns into kissing.
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A - easier for him!
 
Ok, not a lad but...

Which do you feel more comfortable with? I'm much more of a flirt than a "come right out and say it" kind of a girl so the second one would definately be my suggestion! I know it makes things more complicated (relying on signals etc) but it's better than getting it completely wrong in my book.

blushing-1.gif
 
I'd go with a) but word it differently, maybe something along the lines of "I'm wondering if we might become more than just friends - how do you feel?"
 
The first may shock him as it’s so unexpected and depending on how he feels about you may be counter productive.

As for the second option you’re trying to deviate from standard friend relationship stuff ever so slightly which may be difficult to pick up on. He may even think you just up for a quickly if/when he does figure it out.

In my opinion you can’t beet going out together for a couple of drinks and popping the question an hour or so in.

The drink insures an honest answer..
Provides an easy excuse if you get shot down…
You can laugh it off if it’s “not the right time” for him…
Spend the next few hours with your new boyfriend.

p.s. Where can I pick up these dream invasion machines they sound effective!

Oh almost forgot, I’ve had a girl become progressively “insistent” when I had no interest in her what so ever and it did effect our relationship, It just made things awkward for me and would have much preferred the direct approach but then im left open to that “Why don’t you like me?” bit which always turns me to mush!!
 
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Sparky__H said:
p.s. Where can I pick up these dream invasion machines they sound effective!
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Hheheeh, hell yes!

Though I think the soft spot I already had for him affected the dream somewhat!

Hrrm, I'd like to think he knows me well enough that he won't get the wrong idea. I'm not the type for a one-off...
...as for him getting someone else - bloody hope not, he's been single for long enough, Sod's Law better not hate me and give him a girlfriend in the next couple of months!!!

EDIT: Simonnn that has occasionally made me think. But while single, all I do is try and spot who's next. Bit distracting tbh!
 
sara said:
Hheheeh, hell yes!
Hrrm, I'd like to think he knows me well enough that he won't get the wrong idea. I'm not the type for a one-off...
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Well an honest answer for me then would be:

If I liked her B – Foreplay is great
If I didn’t like her A – Gets it over with faster, and less chance of a serious emotional attachment starting.
 
A - Girls always do B, and it is really annoying, the guy ended up doing all the guess work and then start a girl thread (i got really close to this girl lately....etc dunno what to do....etc). Doing A remove any of that and you know where you stand, the chase is fun except he doesn't know he is being chased.
 
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I'd say a bit of both. Don't just come out and say it one day but make it obvious you like him over a period of a week or so then just tell him. The worst thing in the world for a guy is trying to guess what a girl wants, primarily because we know that a lot of women are so insecure that they try and get guys to like them even if they arn't interested.
 
Even though B gives me the opportunity to test the water and then back off if he's obviously not interested?

Right, off out, will have this going round my mind all night probably.... blah.
 
Kell_ee001 said:
A bit of chasing but be a little more obvious with it? :p
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Would also be a good option. "A" in my opinion is just too "in my face", however "B" towards the point where the guy is thinking this might be going somewhere, it gets very tense unless its pointed out to us ;)
 
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