Breastfeeding in restaurants

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MrMoonX said:
When you grow up and have a family and to go to restaurants you will probably change your view. Who cares children are the easiest thing to block out if they're not your own!
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You know what I hate is that 99% of the worlds population without kids(meaning everyone at some point) thinks it's nuts for parents to take babies to places where they'll effect everyone around them(some common sense on where/when this applies, babies crying on a bus, fine, babies crying in a cinema or at a restaurant, nope). That a LOT of parents change their mind only after becoming parents suggests a lot of people are selfish and/or hypocrites.

If/when I have kids, if I feel the need to go to a restaurant I will either chose a place designed to take kids to and not some fancy restaurant where people are paying a large fee for a nice evening which I have absolutely no right to ruin, or I will get a baby sitter and go to a nice place.

The simple fact is that going out for a nice evening with a screaming baby makes the evening pretty pointless for the parents, but you are intentional inflicting a worse evening on other paying customers.

So many parents instantly change all their opinions once they've had a kid, suddenly the world should adapt and put up with you, your noise and your life... because you had a kid, as if it's a new miracle that makes you special, it absolutely does not.

If I change my mind when I have kids, I'd be a hypocrite, but I already know I won't. People who chose to have a kid then insist on living life as if they don't while imposing themselves on everyone around them annoy me more than most other irritating groups of people.

Get over yourself, don't have kids or accept that for at least a couple of years you'll be living with a noisy crap bag that you and you alone believe is cute. No one else cares they are just too polite(unlike you) to tell you your kid stinks, is irritating everyone around you and that you are a selfish jerk.
 
drunkenmaster said:
You know what I hate is that 99% of the worlds population without kids(meaning everyone at some point) thinks it's nuts for parents to take babies to places where they'll effect everyone around them(some common sense on where/when this applies, babies crying on a bus, fine, babies crying in a cinema or at a restaurant, nope). That a LOT of parents change their mind only after becoming parents suggests a lot of people are selfish and/or hypocrites.

If/when I have kids, if I feel the need to go to a restaurant I will either chose a place designed to take kids to and not some fancy restaurant where people are paying a large fee for a nice evening which I have absolutely no right to ruin, or I will get a baby sitter and go to a nice place.

The simple fact is that going out for a nice evening with a screaming baby makes the evening pretty pointless for the parents, but you are intentional inflicting a worse evening on other paying customers.

So many parents instantly change all their opinions once they've had a kid, suddenly the world should adapt and put up with you, your noise and your life... because you had a kid, as if it's a new miracle that makes you special, it absolutely does not.

If I change my mind when I have kids, I'd be a hypocrite, but I already know I won't. People who chose to have a kid then insist on living life as if they don't while imposing themselves on everyone around them annoy me more than most other irritating groups of people.

Get over yourself, don't have kids or accept that for at least a couple of years you'll be living with a noisy crap bag that you and you alone believe is cute. No one else cares they are just too polite(unlike you) to tell you your kid stinks, is irritating everyone around you and that you are a selfish jerk.
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I don't normally get involved with such conversations because you are basically peeing into the wind when it comes to opinions such as these.

Firstly, you can't speak for what 99% of the worlds population think so you're instantly talking rubbish. Secondly, there's a lot of people out there who don't care about such things, or perhaps the majority of the people I know show a little tolerance and understanding about such things.

What I find really annoying is your assumption that a child is automatically "a noisy crap bag" that only the parents think is cute. The only time a kid would be a real issue is if they were sick with something like Colic, in which case the parents wouldn't go out anyway, but as its so obvious you have no experience with kids I wouldn't expect you to have the knowledge to be able to argue the case from an educated viewpoint and you will simply look at it from your own selfish one.
 
Can understand both sides to the story above and it really depends on the child and the situation.

There is a time and a place to take a child and also certain times where it's inconsiderate. Apparently I was always fine going places when I was young whereas my brother was the devil incarnate. He would frequently strop and bolt rigid so no-one could move him. In fact I'd find it unlikely to find a more stubborn child than he was.

Since then many friends have had children and complain at very minor behaviour difficulties. Swings and roundabouts I suppose.
 
I'm going to put my two cents in on this one.
Breastfeeding is a natural thing to do - yes. In our modern age, debatable. We are quite PC on things these days.
I would have thought the polite thing to do is to ask the manager when you walk in if it would be ok to breastfeed your child if he/she gets hungry. I say manager because they are the ones who rule the floor come dinnertime. Asking a waiter/waitress may cause problems.
Any-who - If they say that is ok, sweet all good. If they say no, well you have to decide to either stay anyway and take the risk of the baby wanting to feed or leave before you eat. If they compromise with something then you have to decide if that's acceptable or not.
When I was growing up, my mum breastfed my sister in cafes/restaurants but ASKED first when we first arrived. 8/10 were all good, 1/10 said no way and 1/10 people got upset by it and mum stopped/moved table/or was offered by the manager someplace quiet. Its all about making the owners aware that you have a child and then they can negotiate on the matter. Also, 9/10 Restaurants have those "Family Friendly" signs on them so kids are welcome. I would think that if any restaurant didn't want children in, they would say "kids under X is not allowed."

We just all have to remember politeness goes a lot further in this world.
 
Good to see so many men supportive of breast feeding in this thread.

I agree the woman should really try to be as discreet as possible, but certainly shouldn't breast feed in the toilets so as not to offend.

Can't say I've ever known a woman get them both out before feeding either as has been mentioned here....
 
With all the clothing designed specifically for new mothers over the last 20 years, you don't notice public breastfeeding these days unless you try hard.

I would throw a major wobbler if someone changed a nappy at their table while I was eating though.
 
It's like a lot of things in life really. If you apply some common sense and a little understanding of each others position we can all get along without too much fuss. Of course you should be able to feed your baby when it needs to be fed.....just have a little consideration for other people maybe not wanting to see it whilst they are having a meal. It would seem that people get rather heated these days and take very selfish , defensive stances straight away.

I find some women when they become mothers turn into very selfish 'its all about me now' type characters. However , people also seem less tolerant towards them too , so unless we try to find a middle ground and show some restraint with our views then nothings going to change and this argument will happen every year.
 
Late to the topic, but... I really can't believe anyone is actually offended by breastfeeding. People who genuinely take offence to this activity must lead some very tragic, lonely lives...
 
I've not read the thread, but I think it's really sad the problems we, as a nation, have with breastfeeding.

We've gotten ourselves into a position where, for a sizable proportion, it's just not something they are comfortable with - both doing it, and seeing it.

Part of the blame for that is the culture which arose in medicine following the war of medicalising everything. Birthing went from something performed at home to something that had to be performed under medical supervision, and mothers were actively encouraged to opt for formula over breast.

An entire generation lost touch with breastfeeding, and for many it became something odd, unnatural, and uncomfortable. (as an aside, we've now gotten to a position where the opposite force is putting pressure on women, many of whom who have sadly not been accustomed to the culture of breastfeeding, that they should be doing it or they are harming their child or are a lesser parent because of it. Not helpful when overdone, and it's sad that it has gotten to that position - the errors of the past have pushed us there)

For my part, I've supported my wife with breastfeeding our two. Our son was nursed until around 21 months, and our daughter is still going at around 18 months (both were only really at night and pre-sleep after around the 1-year mark). Feeding in public never caused any problems, but there was a certain amount of self-consciousness about it.
 
I think if it is done discreetly as possibly I wouldn't mind too much
it would probably be better than a crying baby
but as said just because its natural doesn't mean we should have t**s flying about all over the place and in our faces (sounds like fun though :p)
 
Cruiser said:
I think if it is done discreetly as possibly I wouldn't mind too much
it would probably be better than a crying baby
but as said just because its natural doesn't mean we should have t**s flying about all over the place and in our faces (sounds like fun though :p)
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The"it's natural" argument is stupid - pooing, masturbating and picking your nose are natural too, but not to be performed in public. Usually.

Really, the argument is "there's nothing disgusting or unpleasant about it at all - what on earth is your problem?!"
 
People are over exaggerating, it's not as if you are going to see boobs "all over the place" - generally, I'd say that women would do this discreetly anyway, why wouldn't they want to be discreet?

If you're in a restaurant enjoying your food with friends/family are you REALLY that bothered about what other people are doing? A baby crying is more disruptive, than something you actively have to look at/for - a sound carries, a mother feeding her child is innocuous and quiet and you're not exactly going to get a full frontal... and if you do? Well perhaps you should be a gentleman and look away or return the attention to the food you're eating and the company you are with?
 
Pretty sad to see the amount of negative and "stay at home" opinions. Blatantly from people who don't have children or are naive enough to think theirs are perfect ;)

You don't know the family or the child, how do you know that 1 time the child is crying/being fed is a break in the norm. We take our 10month old to restaurants all the time, 95% of the time he is content and happy to be somewhere and taking it all in. The other 5% he'll be in a mood. I aren't going to make my decisions based on the 5% and I can guarantee, if he's winding you up, he's stressing the parents just as much if not more ;)

Also, the boobs everywhere comment. Having a kid doesn't suddenly make it's Mum an exhibitionist...jesus get a grip, its tough for them at first but they know it's best for their baby.

Some people....
 
Breastfeeding can be an incredibly difficult thing to do (depending on the baby) and that early period for a mother is tough. A bit of empathy goes a long way and why shouldn't a new mother enjoy the treat of being in a nice environment for a meal. If the kid needs to feed it needs to feed. Getting offended about breast feeding would probably indicate an incredibly uptight attitude to other things. I bet the deriders are absolute dynamite with the ladies.
 
I've got no problem with it although my mate did make a semi sensible point the other day, needing to pee is also a totally natural thing but very few people would agree that it's fine to just drop trow and start going in the middle of the street.
 
tom_e said:
I've got no problem with it although my mate did make a semi sensible point the other day, needing to pee is also a totally natural thing but very few people would agree that it's fine to just drop trow and start going in the middle of the street.
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yes, that's exactly the same
 
Skidder said:
Breastfeeding can be an incredibly difficult thing to do (depending on the baby) and that early period for a mother is tough. A bit of empathy goes a long way and why shouldn't a new mother enjoy the treat of being in a nice environment for a meal. If the kid needs to feed it needs to feed. Getting offended about breast feeding would probably indicate an incredibly uptight attitude to other things. I bet the deriders are absolute dynamite with the ladies.
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Pretty much my thoughts exactly.
 
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