Broke up with bf

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Soldato
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i know everyone hates relationship threads but I guess I just need to get it off my chest

bf broke up with me last night though I had considered it as well.

basic story is, we met, it was great, then a few months later i find texts to girls asking if they want to meet, we fight, i move on and stay with him. month or two later i find texts from girls, again i stay. go on holiday, he flirts with some 30 something tart from Essex (typical!) again we fight but i stay. then couple of months later, texting girls, found texts from girls one saying "i liked the way you gave it to me last night" apparently it was just a massage but i dont think i ever believed him. we move in together mid feb this year, things are tough. we fight a lot, then one evening he threatens me with a knife, (actually held it to my hand and asked if he should cut my fingers off!) i break it off and start moving stuff out.
then he comes over, crying, we talk i say ok but im only coming back with basics. things start going well, he's nicer etc. then last monday he is taken to hospital cos of his leg and cos he couldnt drive he stayed at his mums, he then came back thursday, changed to mr nasty again. we fight, he says its over on monday. then he wants a break, then we are fine, then i ask whats actually going on, he snaps at me, then last night we agree to break up

i thought that would be an easier way of saying it rather then going in to too much detail.

oh and between the year he has thrown me on a bed, and also strangled me at the same time as trying to make me answer him while he is strangling me. and he has stolen things from me, i.e a voucher, money, items such as a mouse etc.

and he's a mummys boy!

i hate him. yet last night i cried for 5 hours non stop and didnt sleep till about 2am.

are there any blokes out there who dont want to hurt me????
 
so sorry to hear that :(

dont really know what to say though :(

why did you move in with him if you were fighting a lot?
 
Why didn't you see sense and leave him much sooner? Seems like girls prefer to be with bad boys nowadays.
 
i know i was stupid to stay but i found it so hard to walk away from him
and because i couldnt prove for sure if he was cheating people kept saying to me that i was probably being paranoid etc cos of what had happened with my ex.

its just over a year. least its not 4 years like the last one. i guess im too forgiving and need to toughen up

i moved in cos the fights were mainly that we werent seeing each other and he was getting fed up with driving to see me cos i cant drive right now. we both thought we were fighting cos we werent happy at home. stupid i know but too late to turn the clock back now
 
secretspy said:
are there any blokes out there who dont want to hurt me????
Yes.

You may need to learn to look for the signs that people aren't very nice, texts to/from random girls, the throwing, the strangling...These are all signs, look out for them ;)


Mick.
 
Sorry to hear about that :( The sad thing is that you don't realise how long ago it should have ended until it's really finished.

There are plenty of good guys out there who'll treat you how you deserve to be treated. Just turn the page, start a new chapter and for God's sake, don't ever see him again!
 
Kainz said:
Why didn't you see sense and leave him much sooner? Seems like girls prefer to be with bad boys nowadays.
It's not as simple as that. It's deep psychological manipulation and it's so, so sad and cruel :(

Sounds like he has serious problems, weldone for getting out :)

are there any blokes out there who dont want to hurt me????
Yes, lots :)
 
secretspy said:
they must be invisible then because this is the second time its happened (though in a different way)


Mabye you need to spend more time getting to know people before you start "going out" with them.
 
Its nice to know there are women that are loyal enough to stay, even beyond the 'call of duty'.

There are loads of decent guys out there, I should know, i'm one of them :D

Chin up :)

Burnsy
 
atpbx said:
Mabye you need to spend more time getting to know people before you start "going out" with them.

hmm trouble is when i was getting to know him he was so nice etc and you can have that with anyone where they are nice then suddenly turn nasty. i think i need to toughen up. no more second chances
anyway its me time right now. sort myself out. make me happy with myself first
 
atpbx said:
Mabye you need to spend more time getting to know people before you start "going out" with them.
we met, it was great, then a few months later i find texts...

Sorry, but you can't criticize her at all I don't think. The guy was clearly a repressed lunatic.

I don't think he was out to harm her and be a cruel person, I think he has other issues in his life or simply has mental health problems. Maybe they started a few months later, maybe he's always been a playboy, maybe he's becoming more and more depressed with time - we don't know.

Either way, hardly the OP's fault. If it was within weeks, or she moved in within weeks, then fairplay - but she didn't :)
 
secretspy said:
hmm trouble is when i was getting to know him he was so nice etc and you can have that with anyone where they are nice then suddenly turn nasty. i think i need to toughen up. no more second chances
anyway its me time right now. sort myself out. make me happy with myself first

Give them second chances, but only if they deserve them. And make sure it is only a 'second' chance, not a third or forth.

Self confidence is so easily lost and difficult to gain, but you are worth a decent guy.

Burnsy
 
im feeling much better now. funny how music does that to me. it instantly cheers me up.
thanks everyone for the nice things you have said
 
youre better off without. dont dwell on the past and learn from the mistakes youve made. yes people do make mistakes but in my opinion you gave him one too many chances. true love is about dedication to the one youre with, caring, making them smile, doing things without expecting anything in return BUT everything you give must be reciprocated or at the very least appreciated.

im no expert in all this, i dont think anyone is because love can make you do strange things. whatever you do dont forgive him mor take him back - he doesnt deserve a person like you. its better to be at peace and happy thana be with someone which causes so you much stress and heartache just for the sake of 'being with someone'

if you want some advice i'd say take some time out to find yourself again before jumping into another relationship.

you'll be okay gal, it'll just take some time but be glad its now over and youre free to enjoy your time with friends and meeting new people!
 
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