Bulimia

[Justintime]

Not sure how to approach this.. do sufferers EVER get over this? Asking this as i have a friend who was very portly as a kid, she then developed bulimia and lost loads of weight to the point everyone thought she was going to die as she was like 50lbs underweight. Parents finally got off their bums and she had therapy etc..
Allegedly she has been 'clean' for about 8yrs now.. but tonight rang me crying that for the past month shes been 'purging' again. I suspected this as last week her face was rather puffy and eyes red.. but thought it might be a hangover. Shes normal weight and rather attractive and i don't get it.. Any advice on what exactly to say, we're meeting tomorrow night.

 

[Derek W]

tell her to see a doctor. as i suspect the mods will and lock this topic

 

[Justintime]

Not a medical thread? Not asking for any medicine or advice of that sort. Just what to say.

 

[shadow_boxer]

tell her to see a doctor.

 

[loopylou]

Food disorders can triggered by something the person can't control (such as loss of a loved one and feeling empty). They then use food to gain control back over their life. My friend became anorexic at the age of 9. Through therapy it was worked out that she was craving attention being the only girl in a house of 8 boys (including her dad, her mum travelled a lot with work).

The weight thing is normally secondary to the actual cause.

 

[SexyGreyFox]

I was put into a Mental Hospital in 1988 for Bulimia and I have never got over it.
I'm a fat git but every day is hard because I want to throw my food up but I won't do it because of what I put my family through at the time.
There is a saying that once a bulemic always a bulemic.
Also contrary to popular belief, in the hospital there were about 80% men and all were older than me at the time (I was about 30) so not the young girl that the media will have you believe.

 

[King Damager]

I was put into a Mental Hospital in 1988 for Bulimia and I have never got over it.
I'm a fat git but every day is hard because I want to throw my food up but I won't do it because of what I put my family through at the time.
There is a saying that once a bulemic always a bulemic.
Also contrary to popular belief, in the hospital there were about 80% men and all were older than me at the time (I was about 30) so not the young girl that the media will have you believe.

To be fair, your hospital experience, was a number of years ago - it may have changed since. However your life just gets more and more interesting.


OP, I doubt it's something anyone ever gets over, but as others have said, get her to go back to the Doctor. Apart from that, talk to her, ask her why she's feeling down etc... Reassure her that she is attractive.

kd

 

[SexyGreyFox]

To be fair, your hospital experience, was a number of years ago - it may have changed since.

Absolutely because we had proper help back then but now bulemics are just sent to the GP or have a bit of counselling.
I was also lucky that the Head Nurse was also a musician and became my music partner and best friend.

 

[LOAM]

The issue I found (which wasn't bulimia BTW) was that I look back at my time then with fond memories. It's like a safety zone almost. To this day even if I have a row, get stressed etc my comfort zone is (and its hard to put into words) is to go back there by refusing to eat etc.

 

[TheCenturion]

Not a medical thread? Not asking for any medicine or advice of that sort. Just what to say.

Bulimia is an illness, you're asking for advice about dealing with bulimia. I think it is a medical thread to an extent.

I would try to get her to see a doctor if I were you.

 

[edgedemon]

I was put into a Mental Hospital in 1988 for Bulimia and I have never got over it.
I'm a fat git but every day is hard because I want to throw my food up but I won't do it because of what I put my family through at the time.
There is a saying that once a bulemic always a bulemic.
Also contrary to popular belief, in the hospital there were about 80% men and all were older than me at the time (I was about 30) so not the young girl that the media will have you believe.

Interesting - I spent most of the 90's battling anorexia followed by bulimia and the one thing I hated when getting treatment was the feeling that I was the only male, which made feel twice as bad and lengthened the time it took to get myself out of the food obsessed world I lived in..

To the OP, there is nothing you can say, just support her in anyway that will make her feel good about herself, she knows what she is doing is wrong, and telling her that won't help and will probably increase the pressure that she is already putting herself under, just be there for her and don't judge..

 

[Narj]

Shes normal weight and rather attractive

Offer her a go on your pork truncheon. It's one piece of meat she'll be able to keep inside her for a decent length of time.

 

[SexyGreyFox]

Interesting - I spent most of the 90's battling anorexia followed by bulimia and the one thing I hated when getting treatment was the feeling that I was the only male, which made feel twice as bad and lengthened the time it took to get myself out of the food obsessed world I lived in..

Mine too was anorexia for about 2 years from 1985 and then turned into bulemia and I'd vomit until I drew blood.
I was in ward 14 at Cheddleton Hospital and the average age was around 50 and 80% male.
I was also the lowest class in there because everybody else were Lawyers, Solicitors, Headmasters, Teachers and even the concert pianist with the Halle Orchestra.
For the first 4 days I didn't know that everybody in there were for eating disorders until I slowly put 2 + 2 together.
I was also taken down to a Ward that looked like a scene out of the film Cocoon where the patients were that weak they were curled up in the foetus position on bean bags.
Once again the majority were male.

 

[Narj]

Mine too was anorexia for about 2 years from 1985 and then turned into bulemia and I'd vomit until I drew blood.

What the..... Why would someone even do this! Surely alarm bells in your head should tell you to stop!

 

[SexyGreyFox]

What the..... Why would someone even do this! Surely alarm bells in your head should tell you to stop!

It's an illness, I was in control and I felt I had achieved something.
I saw the light in September 1988 and never done it since.

I suppose it's like alcohism or drugs - you start slow and suddenly it takes you over and you don't think you are doing harm.
The time it hit me was around April 1988 and I collapsed at work.
To cut a long story short I was taken to our works surgery where the Sister had noticed changes in me, I confessed and she said "Well basically David, you are now slowly dying so what do you want to do about it?".
A few days later I was sectioned.

 

[edgedemon]

What the..... Why would someone even do this! Surely alarm bells in your head should tell you to stop!

becuase the only other choice is to digest all the food you have eaten and that is not an option.
Its a mindset and a disease, the overwhelming shame and disgust is so powerful, that I used to feel that if I had been unable to vomit, Id probably have tried to cut it out, as keeping it in was a fate worse than death..
That is how strong the feelings of absolute panic are..

and yet the simplest things sometimes work, ridiculous amounts of prozac, which has a side effect of stopping the bingeing, and quarters of apple, eaten in as big a chunk as possible as bringing up large lumps of apple is just too painful if you try it too often in a day.
The trick was getting someone who used to individually count out porridge flakes and suck them one at a time to eat a whole apple in one go, that took a year..

Im so glad those days are behind me

 

[Nitefly]

Sounds like a horrible thing to deal with, either with you suffering or watching a loved one fall ill.

dmpoole continues to stagger us with his life! Glad you got better chum

 

[platinum87]

Not sure how to approach this.. do sufferers EVER get over this? Asking this as i have a friend who was very portly as a kid, she then developed bulimia and lost loads of weight to the point everyone thought she was going to die as she was like 50lbs underweight. Parents finally got off their bums and she had therapy etc..
Allegedly she has been 'clean' for about 8yrs now.. but tonight rang me crying that for the past month shes been 'purging' again. I suspected this as last week her face was rather puffy and eyes red.. but thought it might be a hangover. Shes normal weight and rather attractive and i don't get it.. Any advice on what exactly to say, we're meeting tomorrow night.

Attractive + low self esteem.

Pretty simply really.

But if you actually care for her, then the modification to that plan is to stay with her, and cause her to break up with you by slowly being annoying etc, unless you end up liking her.

Then when she breaks up with you, she prob wont start throwing up all over the place, compared to if you were to just use her and dump her.

Do when you decide to be annoying, dont call her fatty as then you will probably destroy her

 

[LOAM]

becuase the only other choice is to digest all the food you have eaten and that is not an option.
Its a mindset and a disease, the overwhelming shame and disgust is so powerful, that I used to feel that if I had been unable to vomit, Id probably have tried to cut it out, as keeping it in was a fate worse than death..
That is how strong the feelings of absolute panic are..

and yet the simplest things sometimes work, ridiculous amounts of prozac, which has a side effect of stopping the bingeing, and quarters of apple, eaten in as big a chunk as possible as bringing up large lumps of apple is just too painful if you try it too often in a day.
The trick was getting someone who used to individually count out porridge flakes and suck them one at a time to eat a whole apple in one go, that took a year..

Im so glad those days are behind me

It's interesting to read other people accounts, I was fat ( 23 stone ) and I remember to this day the morning I changed. At the time it was like a light going on but in reality it probably went off. I was never bulimic, I rarely purged but I didn't eat. I stopped eating anything other than a bowl of branflakes once a week. 9 months later I was 11 stone and both my lungs collapsed, things were shutting down, people had stopped telling me how amazing I looked and were starting to think I was a drug addict. To me I was huge.

It's a complete change in your thought process, what your doing makes sense to you and is often reinforced by friends and family who think the diets going well. Who ever said it was like an addiction was spot on. Even now I take comfort in not eating.

 

[Justintime]

It's interesting to read other people accounts, I was fat ( 23 stone ) and I remember to this day the morning I changed. At the time it was like a light going on but in reality it probably went off. I was never bulimic, I rarely purged but I didn't eat. I stopped eating anything other than a bowl of branflakes once a week. 9 months later I was 11 stone and both my lungs collapsed, things were shutting down, people had stopped telling me how amazing I looked amd started to think I was a drug addict. To me I was huge.

Wow man.. one meal a week? I admittedly was fat, 18 stone-ish as well but luckily had a growth spurt and went from 5ft 3 to 5 11 in 1 year that seemed to drain my body, went down to 13 stone and have been there with bouts of chubbiness in the 14.5 stone region but nothing ever as bad since, 12yrs now i suppose.
I'll have a one to one with her and definetly try to suss out the situation and get her to see a doctor.