Bulimia

I just stopped completely, even milk in in coffee. I became obsessed with how much I weighed and would weigh myself maybe 20 times a day and log it on a spreadsheet. Sounds odd but the first thing I did after going to the toilet was weigh myself.

But yeah, lol Wednesday night was branflake night and even then I felt the most extreme guilt afterwards.
 
You never get over it. The only thing you can really do is be supportive when she needs it. Or try and get her help.
 
PianoBasher said:
What the..... Why would someone even do this! Surely alarm bells in your head should tell you to stop! :eek:
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No, because your head is messed up. In my case, my eating disorder (voluntary starvation rather than bulimia in my case) was linked to depression. Like depression, it's a situation in which the sufferer is really quite far from making rational choices. It seems to make sense to you at the time. It's very hard to explain to anyone else, because it doesn't make sense to anyone thinking rationally. Habit comes into it as well, which is a surprisingly strong factor in how people behave. Weighing yourself a dozen times a day, for example. To this day, I don't have and will not have a scale in my house and I never weigh myself. Throwing the scale away was a big deal in my recovery.

If that sounds like I'm still scared of it, then it should. I am.

I finally realised I had a problem when I saw people's reactions to me playing noughts and crosses on my forearm with a spike at work.

How do you explain that seeming like an appropriate thing to do? I did it and I can't explain it.

That wasn't the only thing, not by a long chalk, but it was the final straw that added to everything else and finally tipped the balance into me seeing a doctor and asking for help.

Which is what the OP's friend should probably do.

To the OP: I don't know what you could do. People tried to help me and they couldn't. It took a doctor, drugs and a trained, experienced therapist.
 
I lost a really close friend to this. According to her best friends her parents were in denial about it and she was lying about going to therapy and such. It was noticable for around 2 years before she passed away. She was quite a chubby young teen but not fat by any means, pretty much the perfect student (11 a* gcse 3 a* alevels). It was a horrible experience watching her fade away and I wish now I had done more to help her. Stand by your friend, go with her to therapy and if all else fails and it seems serious enough then get her sectioned. You may feel bad doing so but you could be in effect saving her life. Good luck.
 
Angilion said:
Weighing yourself a dozen times a day, for example. To this day, I don't have and will not have a scale in my house and I never weigh myself. Throwing the scale away was a big deal in my recovery.
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Same here although there are scales in the house and when I go to the Doctors and they weigh me, I always ask for them not to tell me.
I haven't known my true weight for 24 years now.
I was also a bit different because I'd stopped using scales for quite a while before I was sectioned and that actually threw the Psychiatrists a curveball because everybody else in the Ward would be fighting over the scales.

Angilion said:
To the OP: I don't know what you could do. People tried to help me and they couldn't. It took a doctor, drugs and a trained, experienced therapist.
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I've told this before on here but in September 1988 I'd had enough and had a day off work to top myself.
I'd wrote 4 suicide notes to different family members and sat down for my last meal before I strolled down to the rail track.
I switched on the TV and on came Robert Kilroy Silk but the remote was nowhere to be seen so I left it on.
The program was dedicated to little children (around 5 to 7 years old) who were dying from cancer and wanted one last good holiday and I just sat their crying at my selfish attitude.
I don't believe in the paranormal but something miraculous happened that day and I completely turned my life around.
The illness is still there but I don't let it bother me because I will not put my family through that again.
 
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I dont really know much about this but its probably something people never quite get over. Your support/understanding will be the best help you can give. Its not easy for you, as someone close who knows about the problem, you are the unsung hero who has to go through the problem with the person. Keep your chin up and try to keep them with good thoughts.

People dont 'get over' the past they make it part of who they are.
 
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I'm curious as to why some are saying you never get over bulimia. I've never suffered from it and I know of some who have done it but never committed fully.

Why can people not shake the condition once they get too into it? Is it because suffers are generally extremely weak willed and it's just simply the type of person? Generally just interested. No offence is intended.
 
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Tell her to eat some chicken and broccoli and get to the gym. I'm not exactly sure how purging is meant to do anything positive what so ever.
 
MumboJumbo said:
I'm curious as to why some are saying you never get over bulimia. I've never suffered from it and I know of some who have done it but never committed fully.

Why can people not shake the condition once they get too into it? Is it because suffers are generally extremely weak willed and it's just simply the type of person? Generally just interested.
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I've certainly never said you can't get over it (I did say there is a saying once a bulemic always a bulemic).
I'm absolutely positive that a good percentage of people went through the illness and no longer think about it.
Yes it is 'weak willed' just like anybody who is addicted to cigarettes, alcohol and other drugs - you go so far and it's very hard to get off the rollercoaster because of what your brain & body are telling you.
The only problem is that you can step off the rollercoater like I did in May 1988 but for those few months up until the Robert Kilroy Silk incident my life was a living hell with really bad depression.
I am not going there EVER again and I find talking about it helps.

I also forgot to mention a major problem I had caused and still suffer from.
Because of my anorexia/bulemia I had buggered my internals up and while in the Ward after a meal I would be lying down in agony and then throwing up.
I explained that it hurt me to eat but nobody was having it.
The Head Nurse (now my best friend) believed me after observation and I was rushed to the Royal Infirmary where I nearly had a colostomy bag fitted because my bowels had gone faulty because of the abuse.
I had surgery and then had to have the most horriblest medicine for 3 months to keep me unblocked.
To this day I don't fart and if I'm ready to fart then I need to be on a toilet.
 
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I suppose you have 2 choices really of the top of my head, you either

1. Don't say anything , make an effort to see her more, try and support her happiness in anyway you can that is not related to her illness. The outcomes of this might be

a. It was just a 'stumble' and she gets over it
b. She doesn't and confides in you about without needing to be prompted
c. You feel she is becoming unwell and feel you need to intervene further

2. Try and approach the subject subtely at an appropriate time.

openings such as

'I worry about you sometimes you know'

'How you feeling now, you know, about what you said the other day'

Sorry not trying to script your meeting here or anything just trying to suggest ways to approach the subject. Also I feel if you do approach the subject, do just that and no more, leave it up to her to decide how deeply if it all she wants to discuss it with you.
Personally I'd also try and avoid using any labels ie 'bulimia' 'your condition' or any such, make sure she's knows what you are talking about but leave it at that. Why , I feel it is easier to talk about the now than bring up the feelings that the past and future of said label encompasses. People tend to rebel from labels, especially those they cannot control.

At the end of the day though I'd try not to get to worried, she's tackled this before, she's been healthy for a while, she was wise enough to confide in you about her returning problem, people around her now have experience to better help should her condition deterioate.

Basically chill bro, hope things work out OK for both of you
 
I wouldn't bring it up to be honest. It's something I have experience dealing with, though not myself, and highlighting it is often the worst thing.
It's like the voices in the head thing, you may not want to do it and be ashamed of it, but that feeling of guilt and control is there.
I just support as much as I can, and make sure they know they're loved and have me here all the time. It took ages just to admit it was a sickness, and lots of tears and hard times, but again just being there and helping keep things stable is one of the best things you can do.

Broaching the subject just puts it back in her mind and sets in panic and anxiety again.
 
MumboJumbo said:
I'm curious as to why some are saying you never get over bulimia. I've never suffered from it and I know of some who have done it but never committed fully.

Why can people not shake the condition once they get too into it? Is it because suffers are generally extremely weak willed and it's just simply the type of person? Generally just interested. No offence is intended.
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It shares some similarities with addiction in that respect. Alcoholism is just the most famous example. An alcoholic might not have drunk alcohol for years and they might have made a complete physical recovery, but they're not completely over it. In one sense, it's still part of them. You don't have alcoholics who now drink in moderation. They drink far too much or not at all, so it's still a part of them. Even if they're completely used to not drinking alcohol at all and they're fine with it.
 
Unfortunately I can't offer any good advice other than that she needs to see professional help.

My GF's cousin suffers from this (and has in fact been sectioned in the past) and it doesn't look like she'll ever be completely free from it.
 
LOAM said:
I just stopped completely, even milk in in coffee. I became obsessed with how much I weighed and would weigh myself maybe 20 times a day and log it on a spreadsheet. Sounds odd but the first thing I did after going to the toilet was weigh myself.

But yeah, lol Wednesday night was branflake night and even then I felt the most extreme guilt afterwards.
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Even to this day I still don't fully understand the wild weight swings
Weigh yourself, have a cup of tea, weigh yourself again, 4lb difference, weigh cup of tea, and then try and work out where the difference is coming from -wtf :eek:
I used to record my weight in a chart, and would weigh myself 1-15 times a day, mainly before work and the evenings as I didn't have access to scales at work or it would have been worse
 
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