Bullies getting ahead in life

Its massively out of context to push some sort of narrative, likely to institute a social credit score where telling someone NO is "aggressive" and thus you pay more tax.

Bullies will have the worst life outcomes of all if they are still bullies at the age of 10, by a very large margin.

Being assertive is not aggressive unless you are some lunatic writing said papers or a guardian writer.

Confidence, Assertiveness, Aggressiveness, but not a bully.

Those are the people that go far.
 
esmozz said:
There were certainly a few bullies at the school I went to (many years ago). They went on to utterly fail at life. A couple of kids who were bullied horrendously are now dead (I'm 50). Some of the unremarkable weirdo's went on to have remarkable careers.
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50 is no age to die, what happened to them?
 
I'm not sure if it's bullying per se, but in business, office type businesses, I do often find loud obnoxious people do tend to get ahead.

I think it's more a case of people just want to easy life at work so are like, whatever, and just carry on with your head down not getting involved.

It's a shame, because the technically better people who are the opposite often get overlooked.

It can work other ways as well, there is a lady on the team I look after, who has been in the job 7-8 years, and is absolutely ******* useless, needs hand holding constantly causes problems that create more work etc through being completely incompetent. I don't treat her the same way as the others, I'll give her short one sentence answers usually telling her to look whatever it is up, or often just completely ignore her.

Whilst the others I'll spend time giving a thorough answer, because I'll know they'll take it, learn from it, improve etc.

She's actually tried to go to manager and accuse me, and the two others in my team of bullying her, and threatened to go to HR, although good luck getting anywhere with that.

I dunno, does that make me a bully?
 
Our main bully became a drug dealer, so presumably he's prospering. His firstborn died very young of some birth defect, saved me a job (joking).

Another I bumped into a few years later, he made a point of apologising, so he got crossed off the murder list. No idea what he's doing now, but I doubt he's rich.

Another took over the family business, some massive import/export company, that family is next level rich. With any luck he'll be on a ship and get blown up by Houthis, or crash into a bridge, etc.
 
throwaway4372 said:
Our main bully became a drug dealer, so presumably he's prospering. His firstborn died very young of some birth defect, saved me a job (joking).

Another I bumped into a few years later, he made a point of apologising, so he got crossed off the murder list. No idea what he's doing now, but I doubt he's rich.

Another took over the family business, some massive import/export company, that family is next level rich. With any luck he'll be on a ship and get blown up by Houthis, or crash into a bridge, etc.
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Wow, someone got out of the wrong side of bed this morning haha.
 
Bassmansam said:
50 is no age to die, what happened to them?
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Drug and alcohol abuse sadly. I don't doubt their school years contributed to that.

Edit: They died well before 50, I'm 50 now just to given some context to when I was at school.

Double edit: I look back now on my school years and I was neither a bully or bullied nor did I go to a particularly good school or bad one. But kids in general of my generation were a utterly vicious bunch.
 
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I went to school with a toerag, he was the year under, he was a the usual looser and gave me hastle because I was going out with a girl his mate fancied. Aaaaany way, a few years later he was crossing a side road and a car turning in noticed last minute and stopped to let him cross, but a car behind didnt realise, plowed into the car and the first car run him over anyway. He got quite badly hurt as I heard.

The world evens things out one way or another.
 
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It seems to play into Jordan Petersons points about men and women in the work place when it comes to increasing pay, that men on average are more assertive to push for higher wages than the average woman.

I'm thinking this is a macro zooming down on the difference between men.

The article seems to be pushing the narrative that masculinity is automatically bad by associating alpha qualities with bullying.

I don't see how they can split the bully apart from other successful males in a class to come to the conclusion that being a bully is an advantage. I'm sure there are more good people with assertive traits that aren't bullies that are successful.

The framing of the article might say more about the author than the subject matter.
 
BUDFORCE said:
I'm not sure if it's bullying per se, but in business, office type businesses, I do often find loud obnoxious people do tend to get ahead.

I think it's more a case of people just want to easy life at work so are like, whatever, and just carry on with your head down not getting involved.

It's a shame, because the technically better people who are the opposite often get overlooked.
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I absolutely agree with this. Office politics (and society in general) rewards the loudest, if nothing else, just to move on...

Eventually everybody signs up to the idea that to be loud and "stand out" is the way to get ahead, and you end up with something between a permanent shouting match and permanent echo chambers like parts of the US seem to be.
 
Bullying is a genuine problem and imo modern society does not know how to deal with it. I definitely agree a certain amount of forcefulness in the workplace can be advantageous and being firm / pushy vs bullying may be a fine line open to interpretation.

but in school......... its difficult.

I remember my dad having the chat with me as a kid at primary school..... (no not that chat, the other one..............) and he always said never ever start a fight, but if someone pushes you you say stop, if they do it again you say stop again.

and if they do it a 3rd time you go at them, fully and make sure they do not get up (because if they do they will likely give you a good hiding).

generally at school when i had fights i "lost" as many as i "won" but no matter which way it went i never got physically bullied by the same person more than once............. but now adays that mentality does not wash. the official line seems to be (though they wont admit it) if you get bullied then you have to roll over and accept it!.

because lets face it, kids cant grass to teachers, as that will make them a target, and if they fight back they get in at least as much trouble as the bully. Our son has come home with bites, and bruises (and this was before he was 7).
unless Schools stamp out bullying then it stands to reason more and more bullies will end up in the work place as if it works for them they will be more likely to carry on using it, albeit be more sophisticated about it when they get older.
 
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We had a kid at my school that was the school punching bag.
Poor sod he had some physical disability, twisted spine or something.
Wasn't a week where he wasn't being abused.
Some ginger kid too constantly getting into fights, he grew up trained up as a bouncer bet he ended up taking out a lot of frustration on drunk Essex boys.

I got on trouble for joking too much to the point of bullying I guess. His parents got involved then it hit me like a truck I'd gone too far... Was sorry, stopped, never really apologised but would if I saw him today and he even remembered who I was.
 
i gnerally wasnt a bully, and despised bullies BUT there was one kid who i wasnt nice too and out of the single digit number of true regrets i have in my life, how i treated him is one of them. The thing which made it worse was at primary school he was a close friend. I absolutely would apologise to him if i met him today. (i never hit him, but there is more to bullying than using your fists - some of the girls at our school were vicious to other girls despite never laying a finger on anyone)
 
Efour said:
I got on trouble for joking too much to the point of bullying I guess. His parents got involved then it hit me like a truck I'd gone too far... Was sorry, stopped, never really apologised but would if I saw him today and he even remembered who I was.
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I've heard quite a few stories now of bullies reaching out to those they terrorised at school and apologising years later.

I think it's good that people can grow up and realise what they've done, but by then it's often too late, because people who are badly bullied at school often have huge problems as adults because of broken self-esteem and trauma.

There are outliers where bullying has made them stronger, but they're the exception rather than the rule.
 
One of the bullies that racially abused me at school and tried to set his dog on me ended up apologising to me when he was 17, he got into drugs after school and was a mess, he said he wished he had been more like me.

Other than saying thanks I didn't know what else to do.
 
I think its more to do with self confidence, economic and home background, opportunities and yes of course some trying to push ahead aggressively and persistently helps greatly.
 
EGuitarStar said:
One of the bullies that racially abused me at school and tried to set his dog on me ended up apologising to me when he was 17, he got into drugs after school and was a mess, he said he wished he had been more like me.

Other than saying thanks I didn't know what else to do.
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not much else you can do....... i mean you could have told him to go f... himself i guess, but what good would that do?. Kids are kids, the fact that he was able to reflect on his actions and realise he was wrong, and had the balls to tell you as much........ sure it wont undo what he did but surely its something i guess to know that he knows he was wrong? (and it likely was something which he had been feeling bad about for some time to make him apologise).
 
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