Busted relationship/cheating partner

All i can say is well done for staying so calm and I hope you manage to sort the situation out and she comes clean.

You don't sound like you deserve it at all..

Respektt!
 
JodieG said:
I don't believe that people can't be faithful, it's a choice and I believe if they were truely happy then they wouldn't cheat. Imo of course.
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What a load of trash. Some people cannot do relationships at all, you seem to be one of these girls who blames the guy for her cheating when really it is down to the girl being a total ****.
 
SoSolid said:
What a load of trash. Some people cannot do relationships at all, you seem to be one of these girls who blames the guy for her cheating when really it is down to the girl being a total ****.
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do you realise what you just said? did you read her post? :confused:

she said that she cant believe that people can be so unfaithful. read posts but more importantly understand what they are saying before blasting people.
 
Once a cheat always a cheat, time for you to move on and look foward for your own and kids happiness.
 
Only you can know if you can make the relationship work again after all this but for what it's worth, go with her and talk to relate; you may be able to work it out for everyone's best interest.

If you know in your heart of hearts that you'll never trust her again, you must get out now and try to arrange things amicably because of the children.

Using the kids or friends or even relatives is not honourable and you should not even contemplate blabbing all the 'facts'.
If you choose to call it a day, do so with as much dignity as you can muster and think about how your children will be feeling.


I hope you come to a conclusion that is right for you and your family and can live with it, whichever way it goes.

Kind regards.
 
She dose not know because I have not told her but her valentines day gift will be a empty house, either she spills for the whole affair before then or im out the door while she is out me and all my stuff gone. And if I do go because she can't be bothered to save anything from this mess she made I never want to see or hear her again as far as im concerned she will be a none entity. I told she dose not have much time to fix things and she just blew up like a grenade, a sure sign of desperation to cover ones own butt. As for the the other party to my problem well, has anyone seen four brothers they back eachother and guard eachothers back, I have three brothers and me makes four. He can run from me because I can't run I would have to get him cornered because of being paralysed bellow the knee both legs but my brothers can run. Two play rugby and the other rides a fireblade where as mr back stabber rides a BMX likes to think he is some kind of street star because all the kids watch him on ramps. He will bump into one of my brothers or many friends or be cornered by me sooner or later and he will be very sorry after the telling off he gets. Im turning all alpha now my eyes probably glowed red all night im not getting angry and I can't get even for whats been taken but I will get as even as possible. Im going to make people see her for what she is I don't need to pass around the recordings of her having sex while I was out buying her christmas gifts I recorded her yesterday saying what she had done. Or rather saying what she will admit to and that will be the cd that all her friends and family get if she dose not confess. The way I see it is if you are going to be hung for stealing a horse you might as well say you stole the whole heard. And I have proof she did x rated proof she did while I was in the bath, she was in the kitchen resting her hands against the work surface right next to the recorder hidden under the bread bin. Also at the beggining of september her texts to him go from the friendly odd one a day right to seventy eight at first then fifty a day at least until she found out I knew how many she was sending at the end of december. I have her by the throat metaphorically speaking and she can eith choke on her own poison or she can spit it out and show one hell of a huge pile of sorrow for the huge pile of crud she dumped in my lap or she can go and do what she likes because I will, I booked a holiday yesterday to magaluf and celerbacy will not be on my mind at all.

Like I say she has well valentines day then like magic i will disapear if she won't fix things im gone, she will be expecting roses as usual on valentines day so I bought some yeasterday and put them in my brothers airing cupboard to die off and dry out, I will spray the dead roses Black and leave them with and empty envelope that says on the outside this is all of what I feel for you now.
 
very simple answer.

If you've got kids, try to sort it out and don't bother making her tell you every detail. She'll lie, you won't believe her and it'll always be in the back of your mind. Let it go and work together for the sake of the child.

If you haven't got kids, divide up the CDs and DVDs and go your seperate ways.

Anything in the middle (all these threats and what you going to do etc etc) is pointless and prolonging your pain.

Got the scars myself.
 
Don't let this eat away at you, your obviously feeling bitter and spitefull at the moment but at some point you will have to let these feelings go regardless if you stay with her or not. Don't feed yourself negative thoughts, they wont help you achieve anything and only pull you away from what needs to be done to sort this out.

I have a mate with 3 kids who was kicked out for no good reason by his wife and then made redundant just two weeks later. He was obviously rock bottom at the time, but I saw him last month for the first time in 2 years and he is happier than ever, new job and new partener and flying high.

Good luck to you man
 
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glad to see your getting yourself organized and not just twiddling your thumbs anymore i think the holiday will do you good .only thing i can say is maybe prolonging till val day isnt the best idea but sounds like you wanna go out with a bang and a sledge hammer to her ovaries ,so valday is good in that sense.
 
trojan698 said:
Dump her!
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If I do dump her it will be in style on valentines day with the black painted dead roses and empty envelope with this is how I feel about you written on the outside.

EddScott said:
very simple answer.

If you've got kids, try to sort it out and don't bother making her tell you every detail. She'll lie, you won't believe her and it'll always be in the back of your mind. Let it go and work together for the sake of the child.

If you haven't got kids, divide up the CDs and DVDs and go your seperate ways.

Anything in the middle (all these threats and what you going to do etc etc) is pointless and prolonging your pain.

Got the scars myself.
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I won't be anywhere in the middle and won't allow it to eat at me any longer like I say above she has until valenines day for a full confession and im not asking for details just when and why it started thats all I want. None of the threats are violence im just saying I will leave her, I would not harm her ever I could never drop down to what I see as her level of morals, ie:not having any. And I have not threatened her in any way, I will never give her any amunition to use against me that she could use to stop me seeing my three children.
 
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Fair enough if you leave her, but dont go down the Emo, walking away with end of hulk music playing, injured puppy licking its wounds route.

Be a man, be strong, if you leave, leave with your head high, not with a bitter after-taste of black roses and empty envelopes.
 
I cannot really give any other advice that has not already been given, but one thing will be as solid as concrete and thats if it comes to a sepration and the kids get involved ( and they usually do unfortunately ), one play of the recordings in court gets you full custody.

So the pain of a custody battle will not last for very long.

Just take a step out of the situation your in and have a really good think about life without her which reading your posts and the way she has actually treated you will only be very positive thoughts, decide what you think is best for you and the kids, make that decision and stick to it.
 
Wiggins said:
I cannot really give any other advice that has not already been given, but one thing will be as solid as concrete and thats if it comes to a sepration and the kids get involved ( and they usually do unfortunately ), one play of the recordings in court gets you full custody.

So the pain of a custody battle will not last for very long.

Just take a step out of the situation your in and have a really good think about life without her which reading your posts and the way she has actually treated you will only be very positive thoughts, decide what you think is best for you and the kids, make that decision and stick to it.
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One play of one of the recordings would get her a criminal record, thats all I will say.
 
Tom0 said:
Fair enough if you leave her, but dont go down the Emo, walking away with end of hulk music playing, injured puppy licking its wounds route.

Be a man, be strong, if you leave, leave with your head high, not with a bitter after-taste of black roses and empty envelopes.
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Im not going on an emo, more of a gone and thats that, no hulk music ect, just me gone and moving on. And im not going to eat the roses or the envelope.
 
No offence mate she sounds like a squirmy worm, denies its her on tape ? I mean come off it, thats as bad as people beleiving the tooth faires real, or god exists or something daft like that ?

THEN she has the nerve to make you look the bad guy by telling friends and family all that ?

AFTER she cheated on you ?

Id gather all friends and family together, sit them down, ask them that you need there opinions, help and support, play the tape, tell them what you told us, and then once everyone understands the truth, they and you can confront her, if she still denies it, shes a stupid idiot that needs a good slap

Sorry to be blunt, but shes walking all over you ,and desisive action needs to be taken.


EDIT: Oh and the kid (19 is he ?) why on earth are you angry with him ? hes a kid, yes he's done wrong, but he wont understand it all, as far as he's concerned hes getting some, and eer cant think outside the box, does he know for sure shes with u ? she may of told him a pack of lies as well remember................ if he does know shes with u yeah thats pretty bad, but then he has no life experience and wont understand the consequences of his actions, but then he also maybe of the understanding shes single or whatever shes told him...........its HER thats the issue mate, not so much him, so no need to beat the living crap out of him until you know the score, to many blokes go alpha on other blokes for f all reasons, dont be a monkey ok, figure it out for sure 1st
 
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peetee said:
councilling, sounds like most people on here either
A) dont have a clue about this
B) have never been on both ends

the ' Originally Posted by ErNciLator View Post
she's lying to you, to protect you being upset. thus she loves you.'

perfectly valid point, Iv done it before, massive mistake, but something was missing from the relationship and it was a rocky patch, I didnt feel I could approach partner with my problems, sometimes I feel i put too much burden on partners and i end up doing something stupid.

Cheats can change, I have, councilling really though, do it, you will find if theres an underlying problem etc, she couldnt have a councillor on tbh.
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excellent post peetee and very true. sometimes talking to your partner about a problem is the hardest thing you can do.
 
HITMAN_LEON said:
Im not going on an emo, more of a gone and thats that, no hulk music ect, just me gone and moving on. And im not going to eat the roses or the envelope.
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Moving on is the only way mate. I mean its never easy after this amount of time, I'm still finding it hard after dumping my EX because you miss things about them etc. But there not the person you remember plain and simple just remember that and that its over once they have cheated its only likley to happen again and if it doesnt thats all your be thinking about in the back of your head. Just move forward dude and be there for your kids. Shes dumped all over you pull your self together for your kids and yourself. Your meet someone new and will be happy in the future I'm sure.
 
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