chacha.com

Hedge said:
Ah man, i backed out because i expected him to suss me right away, and he was slow..

i couldnt think of anything and i was giggling like a girl :D



lol :D
Click to expand...
That's a good one, I'm surprised someone else didn't think of that one already! :)
 
Status: Connected to guide: SherN
SherN: Welcome to ChaCha!
SherN: Hello! What kid of proof are you in need of today?
You: Hi there
You: I need proof that Bon Jovi are infact the greatest band ever
SherN: Okay here are some links
You: do they have proof?
SherN: They have strong arguing points : )
You: hehe well its for my friend really who dosnt know his stuff outside of s-club and steps!
SherN: I hope those links help you out then. Did you need anything else today?
You: maybe a back massage! hehe thanks a lot, ill show them to my friend!
SherN: Have a good day! Thank you for using ChaCha
 
Some Ideas:

My friend wants to know if you fancy me?

Can you put me in touch with John Titor?

I bought my wife an ironing board for her birthday and now shes not cooking for me, what can I do?

How do I get *random lass name* to put out?

Is it wrong to have romantic feelings towards men, and should I tell my wife about it?

Whats the best way to get out of the country without being caught by the police?
 
aww ffs i only said that i was locked in a building and needed to escape, i was going to carry on and say i tried growing my hair to use it as a rope to get out the window,but before i got there this happened,

Search With Guide is disabled because you have been involved in a possible abusive action. Our abuse alert is set at a low threshold to protect our visitors and guides.

If you feel that you have received this message in error, please e-mail us at [email protected] with a request for re-entry to our site.

We appreciate your feedback. Thank you.

Your location is: **********
Click to expand...
 
Just try again, it'll probably work.

If not, email them and try again.

It worked for me within a minute :p
 
Oh dears...

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: ElizaG
ElizaG: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hey!
ElizaG: Hello
You: What's the best way to get out of the country without being caught by John McTavish?
ElizaG: Welcome to ChaCha! Please wait a moment while I search for your results.
You: Ok.
You: Hello?
You: Must be hard to find.
You: Are you there?
ElizaG: yes
You: Ok lol
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: chadb
chadb: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hey1
You: What's the best way to get out of the country without being caught by John McTavish?
You: You haven't given up on me aswell have you?
You: Thanks, I'm done.
Status: Session ended.
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: CharleneJ
CharleneJ: Welcome to ChaCha!
CharleneJ: HI there.
You: Hello!
You: What's the best way to get out of the country without being caught by John McTavish?
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: SusanF
SusanF: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hey!
SusanF: Hi there
You: What's the best way to get out of the country without being caught by John McTavish?
SusanF: Give me a few moments and let me see what I can find on this for you
You: Thanks
SusanF: Could you tell me the last word of your query - John -
SusanF: The browswer cut if off - sorry
You: McTavish
SusanF: Thanks
SusanF: I'm sorry - I can't find anything on this can I transfer you to another guide who may be able to help ?
You: Yes please
SusanF: Okay - just a sec - thanks!
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: LucasK
LucasK: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hey!
You: Hopefully you can find info on this
You: What's the best way to get out of the country without being caught by John McTavish?
LucasK: who is this McTavish guy
You: A very bad man
You: He is after me
LucasK: What sid he do
You: So I need to escape the country before he gets me
LucasK: Why
You: To be honest I don't know.
You: but you can tell he wants to get me
LucasK: Try going to Mexico
LucasK: Does he have a gun
You: That would be a good idea but it's too far
You: yes, yes he has his own armory of weapons
LucasK: Why not call the cops
You: He is well trained aswell
LucasK: Is he a gaylord
You: I can't phone the cops because he will get me still
You: oh no I don't think so
LucasK: Ok, here's what you do, get in a cardboard box and hide and run to Canada in the box
You: I'm going through a rough time right now. I can't sleep at night knowing John McTavish is looking for me
You: But I'm across the pond. I'm not Jesus, I can't run on water
LucasK: can you swim
You: Yes but not in a box
LucasK: how about you disguise yourself as a woman
You: plus McTavish has 5 helicopters constantly searching the seas waiting for me to swim away
LucasK: Who is this guy
You: A very bad man
You: So bad that he makes the word bad look good
LucasK: use EMP
LucasK: That will take his helicopters down
You: Good point
You: Where will I find an electromagnetic pulse?
LucasK: Try Ebay
You: Mctavish will know I've been on there though
You: He's tracking me right now
LucasK: Why does Mctavish wan't you
You: I don't know
You: I wish I did.
LucasK: Did you do any thing wrong
LucasK: Goodbye
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: BobbieB
BobbieB: Welcome to ChaCha!
BobbieB: hello
Click to expand...

At that point I gave up :p
 
*Starts the official KimberlyF fanclub*

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: KimberlyF
KimberlyF: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hey, Kimberly
You: I just need a quick opinion
KimberlyF: Hello
KimberlyF: ok
KimberlyF: What does your meal include?
You: I sliced some smoked gammon and fried it off with a little chilli and olive oil then added a tin of tomatoes and a tin of baked beans...once it was all hot and simmering, I grated some chedder in...Reckon it will be a nice Pasta sauce?
KimberlyF: hmmmm
KimberlyF: not sure
You: also got some fresh rosemary and coriander in there
KimberlyF: would have to taste that one to make sure
You: brb - gonna taste a bit...
KimberlyF: I assume gammon equals salmon?
KimberlyF: The baked beans are throwing me off...
You: sorry...I'm English
KimberlyF: ok
KimberlyF: no problem
KimberlyF: what is gammon?
You: Gammon = a cut of pork that is smoked (in this instance) and then either roasted, grilled, baked or fried...
KimberlyF: ohhh that sounds ummy
KimberlyF: yummy
KimberlyF: sorry
KimberlyF: might not be too bad
You: baked beans = http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baked_beans
KimberlyF: still not too sure about the beans though...lol
KimberlyF: did you taste it yet?
You: beans = http://www.snackspot.org.uk/thread.php?story=0511251426fah
You: it tastes pretty good, actuallyt
You: you should find yourself a tame English type to send you tasty foodstuffs.
KimberlyF: Cool...I'm all about trying new recipes
KimberlyF: are you a tame english type?
KimberlyF: lol
You: semi-tame
You: :p
You: I like to cook though
KimberlyF: Me too
KimberlyF: are you in England or the US?
KimberlyF: I love to cook
You: England
KimberlyF: Ahh...my maiden name is Paul...very English
You: hehe
KimberlyF: Would you be interested in some recipes
You: sure
KimberlyF: I could send you?
You: go for it
KimberlyF: Any particular style?
You: (don't worry - you'll be getting a good rating)
You: a new chilli recipe would be nice...
KimberlyF: I make killer chili
You: as do i...but it's always good to try something new
KimberlyF: :et me know if you can click on a link on that one
KimberlyF: It won't let me send you the actual page
KimberlyF: link
You: I'm also the only person I know who cooks chilli the night before it's to be eaten...then puts a lid on the pan and lets the flavours develop for 24 hours...
You: link works
KimberlyF: Well....you have a wonderful day...my 10 minutes is almost up
KimberlyF: oh yeah
KimberlyF: chili is always better the next day
KimberlyF: lol
KimberlyF: Have a wonderful one....look me up again sometime
KimberlyF: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

All the women on here are blatantly in their forties...

*n
 
This one is copied from SomethingAwful (I would link but I fear I could be banned. :p):

You: hello

You: i am looking for ways to get cancer

You: like causes

KareemaF: Good day. Let me see what I can locate for you/ One moment please

You: i know there is smoking and stuff

You: but i have been smoking for many years and still do not have it

You: i need something faster

You: like, would i get cancer right away if i ate a tumor from someone else?

You: also, if you could tell me where i might acquire a tumor that might be helpful

You: hello?

KareemaF: Thanks for coming to ChaCha! Give me a moment while I do all your searching for you!

You: hmm, that site seems to be focused on prevention

You: i need to get cancer right away

You: it is the only way my doctor will provide the sweet sweet morphine that i crave

KareemaF: Can I find anything else for you?

You: yes please

You: where can i acquire a cancerous tumor? i still want to try my idea

KareemaF: Thanks for searching ChaCha!

KareemaF: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.

Status: Session ended.
Click to expand...

That one makes me laugh. "Where can I acquire a cancerous tumor?" :p

(I suppose it is in bad taste slightly, but it was just such a weird thing to say).

Angus Higgins
 
Good evening,

I have just been banned from using your site because I said 'kick arse' instead of 'kick ass' and apparantly the word 'arse' is verboten whilst 'ass' is not.

As an Englishman, my natural leaning is towards using the more masculine 'arse' in everyday parlance as opposed to the more feminine 'ass', as so beloved in the United States.

Is this an intentional move to discriminate against the English?

Could you please clarify?

Many thanks,

Emmet P. Rowenthrope III

--
"Most men and women lead lives at the worst so painful, at the best so monotonous, poor and limited, that the urge to escape... is and has always been one of the principal appetites of the soul."

Aldous Huxley


________________

*n
 
Does the world exist when I blink?

ChaCha said:
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: AndreaW
AndreaW: Welcome to ChaCha!
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: CristiV
CristiV: Welcome to ChaCha!
CristiV: yes it does
You: Are you sure...?
CristiV: yes im sure
You: Can you prove that the world is still there when my eyes are closed?
You: maybe...it's a fabrication of my own subconscious which is destroyed whenever I am not looking...
You: ...maybe there is nothing behind me...and the only reality is that which falls within my field of vision
You: or maybe....I ate too much sugar...
Click to expand...

*n
 
hahahaha this one has me in stitches..

from a guy on another forum. i posted the link and this is what he did.

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: RichardM
RichardM: Welcome to ChaCha!
RichardM: Hello, how are you today?
You: im pretty bad
RichardM: Why is that?
You: Im so sad
RichardM: Why would you be sad?
You: Newcastle only drew
RichardM: Football fan then?
You: indeed
RichardM: What can I help you find today?
You: If a crab accidently upset a lobster by pinching its uneaten prawn, would it stand a chance in a battle?
RichardM: They'd be pretty evenly matched
You: really, who would you put your last 5 dollars on?
RichardM: hmmm
RichardM: Depends
You: on what?
RichardM: If it's a fiddler crab I'd say the lobester would win but it if were a dungeoness crab I'd say the crab would win
You: whats the craic with the dungeon crabs?
RichardM: They are massive
RichardM: They would be faster and stronger
You: oooos! any links?
RichardM: but I tink the question you should be asking is this one here.
You: hoo hoo hoo! now that is a battle my friend!!!!!
You: what about a tag team- lobster and tarantula v crab and scorpion?
RichardM: I'd say crab and scorpionn.
RichardM: Here is a better one a tagteam tarantula, crab, scorpion, and lobster vs a wolverene and a badger
You: wise choice my man, theyd laugh at the tarantula's fangs
RichardM: And the badger has rabis
RichardM: rabies
You: hahaha now theres a battle!!!!!
RichardM: It would be like ww3
RichardM: Is there anything else I can help you find?
You: I need a cage and a tarantula crab, scorpion, lobster, wolverine and badger. where cn I buy these items? #
RichardM: You'd have to catch a badger and the wolverine
RichardM: same with the scorpion if you want it poisonous
You: how can I catch them? with a mouse trap and cheese?
RichardM: and the tarantula you can get at a pet store but it will be defanged so you need to catch that too
RichardM: To catch a wolverene or a badger you get a live bait trap then stick a pheasant in there
You: ok ok, how do i catch a pheasant?
RichardM: when it goes to get the pheasant the pheasant will be released and the badger trapped
RichardM: buy them
You: where from?
RichardM: A farm
You: ok, so will a pheasant catch all of them?
RichardM: not a tarantula or scorpion
You: how do I catch them?
RichardM: you can find the scorpion in somewherer like arizona or something
RichardM: with a net
You: hmmm, arent they in the UK?
RichardM: I'm not sure
RichardM: Tarantulas are more acustomed to warmer climates
You: gutting that! So Ill have to travel to get all the ingrediants?
RichardM: probably not the scorpion or badger
RichardM: but everything else yes
You: I have a pet badger
RichardM: and the lobsters and rab you can guy live at grocery stores or markes by the water front
You: ooo good point! Id be tempted to eat them tho!
You: Any decent recepies?
RichardM: For which one?
You: each
RichardM: old bay seasoning is really good on crabs
You: nice!
You: how about badger pie?
RichardM: Well
RichardM: Thats not a good idea badgers are primarily carnivores so their meat isn't that good and it's really stringy
RichardM: You'd be better off boiling badgers
You: hmm, how about wolverines?
RichardM: Same thing
You: tarantula?
RichardM: Not good to eat at all, probably dangerous
You: I saw some people eating them on TV once
You: scorpion on toast?
RichardM: Yeah that would work fine.
RichardM: I do need to get going though I have to get somewhere
You: thanks pal
Click to expand...

:D :D
 
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: DaphniN
DaphniN: Welcome to ChaCha!
DaphniN: Hello
You: Hey
You: dude im stuck in my cellar
DaphniN: LOL
You: im using my laptop which has half an hour left on the battery, after that im screwed
DaphniN: Are you serious?
DaphniN: Do you use yahoo messanger?
You: are there any free online services so i can text message/phone a relative to get me the **** out of here
DaphniN: !!!! WARNING !!!! abusive language by infoSeeker (are there any free online services so i can text message/phone a relative to get me the **** out of here)
DaphniN: Yes
You: sorry about the bad language
DaphniN: does anyone use sprint?
DaphniN: np
DaphniN: I would be freaking out
You: i dont anyone who uses sprint
DaphniN: ummm look up the phone company they use
You: everyone uses british telecom in the UK
DaphniN: and there is a text option there somewhere
DaphniN: you should be able to text them
You: i can't see anything on BT's site about it
You: i need to hurry man i seriously am screwed if this cuts out
You: i am well and truely stuck down here
DaphniN: Give me a phone #
DaphniN: I will call for you
DaphniN: Give me your name as well
DaphniN: Hello
DaphniN: Are you with me?
DaphniN: Are you there?!
DaphniN: Hello?!?!
Click to expand...

I left him hanging for 5 minutes to think my laptop cut out then I had to tell him I was mucking around, I just felt harsh at the end of it LOL. It's not all that funny but I just can imagine the blokes face when he thought my laptop cut out.

Sorry for stealing ya idea Andr3w, i just had to try that one out mate.
 
I tried another Mass debate one, didnt work aswell as my first :(

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: KerryannB
KerryannB: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hello
KerryannB: Hi.
You: Do you like to mass debate?
KerryannB: I rarely have the time to debate anymore.
KerryannB: I'm always right. =)
You: What did you used to mass debate off?
KerryannB: Well, I can tell you that it wasn't childish pranks. Have a nice night. =)
KerryannB: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom