Chat up lines. Get in there my son!

[roid]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I just farted
Smell it can you?

Like the way you turn into Yoda at the end

 

[slylittlefox]

Fancy coming back to mine so I can kick your back door in?

 

[slylittlefox]

That dress really holds your figure well.

The colour of that dress goes well with your eyes.

Wow, you have the most prettiest eyes.

Look am not trying to be funny but am good looking, so are you. Lets connect.

They all work.

They're just creepy/slimey.

It's not rape if you can't hear them say no .

See above, but definitely more on the creepy side. [/scared]

 

[MikeHunt79]

"I want to be on you"

"I have many leather bound books"

 

[Conscript]

"You know why I like you, dont you?"
"No?"
"Well, you know what they say; gentlemen prefer blondes..."
"But Im not blonde?"
"...and Im not a ****ing gentleman"

 

[semi-pro waster]

can anyone find that chat up line thread from a few years back ?

MW

You've not tried very hard have you, the archive comes up trumps yet again.

Possibly the greatest chat up line I've ever read from GTA.

Original - "Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea."
Ruined - "Your eyes are blue, like the ocean, and baby, they're soon going to be black, like my heart."

That's just all sorts of special.

 

[Raymond Lin]

Possibly the greatest chat up line I've ever read from GTA.
That's just all sorts of special.

Original - "Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea."

Lets hope her eyes are blue !

 

[KizZ]

Some copypasta for you:

Baby I put the STD in stud now all I need is U.

If I flip this coin what are my chances of getting head?

You must work for UPS because I saw you checking out my package.
___________________________________________
The Vengeance

Guy: I would like to call you. What is your phone number?
Girl: It is on the phone list.
Guy: Under which announcement?

Guy: Hello, does your dog have a phone number?
Girl: Why, yes. Is your mother in the rutting? (wow, harsh!)
Guy: No, because I heard you finally lost your virginity

Guy: Is this seat free?
Girl: Yes, and if you sit there so will be the one I am on.
Guy: Thanks, I will be needing that second seat when my fiance arrives.

Guy: So, what do you do in life?
Girl: I am a transvestite.
Guy: I noticed! You forgot to shave your mustache!

Guy: You are very beautiful.
Girl: Shame I cannot say the same about you...
Guy: Do as I do, lie!

Guy: Haven't I met you somewhere before?
Girl: Of course!! I am the receptionist from the venereal diseases clinic... don't you remember?
Guy: Exactly! Have you paid the treatment with your work, yet? (I don't get this one)

Guy: Did we not meet in that other place before?
Girl: Yes, that is why I don't go there anymore.
Guy: I noticed, they forbid the entrance of ugly whores.

Guy: Are we going to my place or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to your house, and I go to mine.
Guy: Shame! My maid left and I thought you could do the cleaning. (The best, imo!)

Guy: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Girl: Not impregnated.
Guy: And you think I would have the guts not to wear a condom with you??

Guy: Ok, lets stop this. We are both here for the same reason.
Girl: Yes, to pick up girls...
Guy: So, introduce me to your hot friend next to you!!

Guy: Looking for nice company?
Girl: Yes, but with you around it is hard to find...
Guy: Still mad about the 10 turn downs I gave you?
___________________________________________

"Hey baby, is that a mirror? Cause I can see myself in your pants tonight"

"Hey, nice dress, it would look a lot nicer on my floor though"

me: Hey, are there 21 letters in the alphabet?
girl: No....
me: OH YEA! I forgot about U R A Q T

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

My friend came up with this one:
"You know how I know we're going to have sex tonight? 'Cause I'm stronger."
Really messed up, but pretty funny.

"fat penguin"

"what?"

"it broke the ice"

"If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!"
"Are you free tonight or will it cost me?"

"I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button"

 

[semi-pro waster]

Guy: Haven't I met you somewhere before?
Girl: Of course!! I am the receptionist from the venereal diseases clinic... don't you remember?
Guy: Exactly! Have you paid the treatment with your work, yet? (I don't get this one)

Think of not having money in a restaurant and having to do the washing up...

 

[Begbie]

They're just creepy/slimey.



See above, but definitely more on the creepy side. [/scared]

Yes, but the work

 

[TheCenturion]

"Hi there"

copywright Gibbo 2008

 

[Deleted member 651465]

The rape ones are just downright fail

 

[flinco]

"You'll do.."

edit: already put up sigh...

 

[Infam0us]

Chat up lines fail as they don't come from YOU as a person!

 

[[ASSE]Hinchy]

Can I test your rape resistance?

Yeah, that had my in hysterics. As did the other rape ones. Disturbing.

 

[CryptKeeper]

Chat up lines fail as they don't come from YOU as a person!

This is only half true. They fail because your body language and tone is not congruent with the material. If you practice enough then this changes.

 

[Solari]

"Do you like chicken? Well taste this, it's fowl..."

"How would you like to see the soles of your shoes in my wing mirrors?"

 

[Things change I've changed]

I've never really used chat up lines, normally I just put my hand out and say 'Hi, my names rob' with a smile and take it from, sometimes fail, sometimes success.

 

[Artest]

"You're gonna get laid tonight"
"Why"
"Because I'm stronger than you"

*Gets coat*

 

[romperstomper]

Walk up to her and mess her hair up.

Then when she questions it say ' Just seeing what you look like in the morning'

You mean when she punches you in the teeth for messing her hair up that took 2 hours ,then when you're bleeding on the floor you can come up with the punchline