Cheating Ex.. how would you react to this?

Chandler_90 · 11 Aug 2017 at 23:36

Background:

My ex gf left me in September of 2014 after sleeping with and effectively starting a new relationship with a 20 year old "friend" who I also knew.

She left me with a mortgage, £12,000 worth of debt (which was all in my name but we shared the card for purchases such as holidays and furnishings for our house) and her phone contract payments (£80 a month for 6 months) which I didn't notice were still coming out of my bills account.. plus she refused to pay any solicitor fees to remove her from the mortgage as she had just found out she was pregnant.

All this after 7 years together.

So... fast forward to this coming Sunday..

I am attending the christening of the daughter of one of my best friends.. and my ex is going to be there with the young lad (now her fiancé) and their son.

I can hold my rage, I still hold a ton of resentment for how she left me financially, however upon thinking about things I am unsure of if I could shake his hand.

Would it be a total crime not to, to basically blank the offer if it should arise?

Please bare in mind I've not seen either of them for years and probably won't bump into them anytime after.

How would you react?

On Holiday · 11 Aug 2017 at 23:38

Swerve it and smash some pasty.

dowie · 11 Aug 2017 at 23:39

I don't see why you need to shake his hand, you're well within your rights to have nothing to do with him at all.

Obviously you're not going to start a fight at a Christening but there isn't any need for you to try and fake any friendly gestures either.

Rannoch · 11 Aug 2017 at 23:39

Plenty O'Toole said:
Swerve it and smash some pasty.

^^ This

Caged · 11 Aug 2017 at 23:39

Can you not just ignore them both?

Chandler_90 · 11 Aug 2017 at 23:40

Already smashing higher grade pasty.

Said pasty will be with me.

dowie · 11 Aug 2017 at 23:40

Just ignore them then.

Chandler_90 · 11 Aug 2017 at 23:41

Caged said:
Can you not just ignore them both?

I had thought of doing this but wondered if it was deemed acceptable.

I kept my silence and temper under control as I respect her parents.

Facebook very nearly got both barrels.

Rannoch · 11 Aug 2017 at 23:41

Chandler_90 said:
Already smashing higher grade pasty.

Said pasty will be with me.

Enough said, shake his hand with a huge smile, make sure your bird dresses up for the occasion and go along half duked...

Chandler_90 · 11 Aug 2017 at 23:43

I'm going to have 1 drink and leave if I'm honest.

Then I'm taking the misses out for food and to get smashed lol

arctine · 11 Aug 2017 at 23:44

Shake his hand but do it in a way that says 'I could beat you in a fight if it came to it' and 'I've done terrible things to your fiancé'.

Then give a look of smug pity accompanied by a patronising wink before heading to the bar for your free vodka oranginas.

Rannoch · 11 Aug 2017 at 23:46

If it's any consolation she's probably got stretch marks, assuming she never had a cesarean like my gf did lol

Ask him is she's still into 3somes with old blokes

Chandler_90 · 11 Aug 2017 at 23:46

Vodka Oranginas lmfao

Caged · 11 Aug 2017 at 23:49

Oh wait if you do end up talking to him then mention Lemon Parties with a knowing wink

mmj_uk · 11 Aug 2017 at 23:53

Try to ignore if possible if not just jokingly make some smarty pants comment like "is she still with you then?" to him and walk away.

Rannoch · 11 Aug 2017 at 23:54

Caged said:
Oh wait if you do end up talking to him then mention Lemon Parties with a knowing wink

That's too far

something daft already!! · 11 Aug 2017 at 23:56

Be the better man and take his hand and shake it very firmly indeed. Be over friendly if anything (to a almost detectably sarcastic way).

GSXRMovistar · 12 Aug 2017 at 00:01

howiepoohs said:
Be the better man and take his hand and shake it very firmly indeed. Be over friendly if anything (to a almost detectably sarcastic way).

This.

Ahleckz · 12 Aug 2017 at 00:03

Grow a pair. You were with her. She took you for a ride. Either you were happy for this to happen or you weren't willing to confront her. Ultimately, you have no right to be anything but civil to anyone else in her life. She's moved on, I suggest you do as well.
This guy has done nothing wrong.

arctine · 12 Aug 2017 at 00:11

Ahleckz said:
Grow a pair. You were with her. She took you for a ride. Either you were happy for this to happen or you weren't willing to confront her. Ultimately, you have no right to be anything but civil to anyone else in her life. She's moved on, I suggest you do as well.
This guy has done nothing wrong.

I'm not going to get involved in any argument here but I will say sleeping with someone when you know they're in a relationship is doing something wrong.

OP has plenty of reason to convey disdain for the pair of them.