Choose Your Own Adventure™ - OcUK Style

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Seraphim

Seraphim

Seraphim

Man of Honour
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19 Oct 2002
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Brizzaaal
Welcome, brave adventurers, to a world of goblins, elves, dungeons and small slimy things that squish under your feet when you’re walking down a neverending set of stone steps – welcome to the Choose Your Own Adventure™ thread, where you get to choose what happens in ALMOST REAL TIME. For each post in this thread, a situation shall be described, and I will present you with a variety of options for you to continue your quest. The first choice received via the medium of the Interweb will be the path chosen – but beware, for you must choose wisely, for not all paths lead to the goal.

Speaking of which, what is the goal of this most noble and worth quest? I dunno, some enchanted cup or imprisoned beauty or some crap like that. But it’s not the prize that’s important, it’s the taking part that counts. Isn’t it? So, without further bleating, I present you with your first chapter…

You leave your comfortable 3 bedroom semi-detached cave high in the woodlands of Enchantia, a magical land where poverty, crime, injustice and sexually transmitted infections do not exist. A veritable utopia, you might think, except for doctors specialising in genito-urinary medicine. But all is not well in the land of Enchantia, as evil Lord Gilly III has stolen something very important from some people who want it back quite badly. Quite what it is that’s been stolen and from who I’m not quite sure, as I’ve not written that bit yet. It’s probably postcounts or something stupid like that. But anyway, I digress… You exit your front door and find yourself standing at a wide crossroads where 4 roads meet (oddly enough) – rudimentary roadways stretch out to all four compass points.

Nice and easy one to start. Which way do you go?

A) North
B) East
C) South
D) West
E) "Beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice"
 
OK, let's get this one out of the way first... ;)
Originally posted by Devo
"Beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice"
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You start to spin on the spot, at first delighted with the sensation, then somewhat nauseous, then as the spinning reaches into the high 1000rpm's, you become quite petrified. In a flash you are transported to some crazy moon-world of sand and other crazy things. A black and white striped sandworm looms into view out of the sand and comes crashing down on top of you. Without delving into the physics of the whole process, you are squashed beneath the almighty weight of the worm. Looks like you made the wrong choice there, champ!
Originally posted by Matthew-1985
North.
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You walk for what seems like miles on the dusty roads, hoping that something interesting comes your way soon; otherwise this thread will be exceptionally short and crap. Just as soon as the thought exits your mind, something interesting does turn up. A mountain looms out of the distance, as tall as the clouds and the colour of dull metal. As you make your way to the base of the cliff face, you spot an escalator stuck to the side of the rock, conveniently placed for any travellers wishing to work their way up to the top of the huge mound of rock. Do you:

A) Take the escalator
B) Work your way up the near-vertical slope with your bare hands
 
Originally posted by Misology
B) Work your way up the near-vertical slope with your bare hands
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Deciding to eschew the ease of the escalator for the manly challenge of the climb, you begin to ready yourself for the daunting climb ahead. The climbing lessons your mum made you take at school soon pay off and you lock into the 'zone', climbing like a monkey on amphetamines. Soon enough, you reach the halfway point, when all of a sudden a small opening in the rock attracts your attention, thanks to some strange noises emanating from within. You are intrigued, and want to investigate. Do you…

A) Listen to your instincts, and go into the cave
B) Sod your instincts, and continue up the slope
C) Let go of the rockface
 
Originally posted by Misology
C) Let go of the rockface
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Shutting off the part of your brain which controls your actions (the same part that stops you shouting swearwords in church), you relax your fingers and fall gracefully from the rockface. Pirouetting as you tumble, like some anorexic Russian gymnast, you piledrive into the unforgiving rock below, ending your short, yet eventful career as an adventurer. Maybe you should consider a new career as an office worker or something.
Originally posted by Matthew-1985
Listen to your instincts, and go into the cave.

Edit: To late. :D
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You tentatively enter the cavern, and are greeted with the foulest stench imaginable – a repugnant combination of various bodily fluids, stale fish and, strangest of all, cheese and ham bagels. Despite the full-on assault on your nasal nerves, you fight your way through the blanket of fetid air to find out what lays in the depths of the compact yet bijou hole.

After a few metres of exploration, you hear something in the corner – a sound that chills your heart and sends your lunch rocketing towards your rectum. Locked with fear, you watch helplessly as you see a pale, bony hand appear on a rock near you, followed by another. Strange, semi-transparent liquid oozes from the palms of the creature, coating everything it touches with a sticky residue. Eventually, the creature brings its face into view, exposing large, deep-set eyes in a pale, almost translucent face. Struck with panic, you realize it’s the mythical creature so often talked about in the chattering masses back in your village – it’s Matthew-1985.

Now is the time you will show your true colours. Do you…

A) Offer your hand in a gesture of non-aggression and friendship
B) Take out your trusty hunting knife and end the repellent creature’s misery
C) Run away screaming

All in jest, I assure thee
 
Originally posted by VDO
B) Take out your trusty hunting knife and end the repellent creature’s misery
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Never one to stand by and watch suffering, you pull out the hunting knife your wierd uncle gave to you, and prepare to ram the blade deep within the creature's face. Just as you pull back to get a good swing on the knife, you lock eyes with the pitiful, moaning creature. Somewhere, buried within the skull you stare at, you can see a flicker of something. Something great, yet masked by the horrible odours coming from the beast's armpits.

Overcome by compassion and empathy, you break down in tears. You could never kill such a creature - only God has the right to take life as he sees fit. You turn to leave, and try to put your knife back in it's sheath - but due to your complete ineptness as an adventurer (you did let go of that rockface, remember?), you miss the sheath entirely and plunge the blade into the gut of Matthew-1985. With a startled expression on his face, he looks at you with something like disappointment in his eyes. He slumps to the floor in a sticky, bloody mess.

Disappointed in yourself, you sigh and contemplate your next move. Do you...

A) Continue deeper in the cave
B) Go back outside and climb further
 
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