Competition time: Write a sarcastic note

[Jonny69]

After a number of recent complaints
the management would like to make the
following announcement.....

This ISN'T France.

Please flush, brush and wipe as neccesary to leave
this convenience in good British order.

Harsh but funny, have a single Captain Cheeseball:

 

[Efour]

Similar one in One of my Frequent pubs.

TO whom it may concern Could you please stop leaving your soiled(cant swear) pants in here. You have a serious problem and I suggest you get mental help

Signed Management.

made me nealry "ROFL" except it was wet and smelly down there


not fussed if i dont get a star, just needed to share it lol

 

[Tom_ed1987]

Here i sit, broken-hearted
Tried to ****, but only farted.

 

[Pumpkinstew]

Harsh but funny, have a single Captain Cheeseball:

Only one?

Francophile!

 

[Beren]

Think yourself lucky I didn't get any!

Then again yours did make me grin.

There once was a chap from helsinki
He came in and made a big stinky
He splashed on the seat thought 'I'll leave this treat'
So I found him and cut off his winky

Hmm 3rd line not quite there but close!

 

[kitten_caboodle]

Think yourself lucky I didn't get any!

Me neither dude, lets sit and sulk together
Last time I write a poem for Jonny69

Isnt your gf french Jonny??

 

[Pumpkinstew]

There once was a chap from Helsinki
He came in and made a big stinky
He splashed on the seat,
And all round his feet.
So I found him and cut off his winky

Any better?

(Yep I have nothing better to do on a Friday afternoon than fine tune limericks. )

 

[kitten_caboodle]

There once was a chap from Helsinki
He came in and made a big stinky
He splashed on the seat,
And all round his feet.
So I found him and cut off his winky

Any better?

(Yep I have nothing better to do on a Friday afternoon than fine tune limericks. )

 

[Kell_ee001]

There once was a chap from Helsinki
He came in and made a big stinky
He splashed on the seat,
And all round his feet.
So I found him and cut off his winky

 

[Beren]

Lol, yeah that's what I was aiming for (cough, sorry!). Forgot that you were supposed to write them over 5 lines not 4 as well. Maybe OP should suggest a communal effort for toilet training too!

Does that mean we get 2 1/2 each Kell?

 

[Jonny69]

Oh I see, now we're awarding ourselves are we?!!!

Edit: anyway I think fini is in the lead so far. Kitten is definitely up there in the effort and skill. You can have a slice of cheese instead:

 

[Beren]

Well in the absence of your good self passing judgement I took your boredom test and still no rating (genious btw) so I think you were usurped!

 

[kitten_caboodle]

Oh I see, now we're awarding ourselves are we?!!!

Edit: anyway I think fini is in the lead so far. Kitten is definitely up there in the effort and skill. You can have a slice of cheese instead:

Hurrah! I LOVE CHEESE!!

 

[touch]

Remember: If you shake it more than 3 times; you're playing with it!

 

[Beren]

Hurrah! I LOVE CHEESE!!

Harrumph so your not sulking in the corner with me any more then

 

[vincent1989]

point Percy in the porcelain...not up the god damn wall >.<

 

[Jonny69]

Harrumph so your not sulking in the corner with me any more then

You can have the other variety:

 

[Gilly]

Few edits of people that should know better have been required.

Can it please.

 

[kitten_caboodle]

You can have the other variety:

I was actually sharing my cheese with you.

 

[Jonny69]

Best one I've ever seen is on a pub door in my home town:

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Don't beam me up Scotty, I'm having a s|

Anyone remember Leisure Suit Larry? Scott me up Beamy